6.12.06: Pawtucket Red Sox v. Richmond Braves - Ridin' Dirrrrty

Pawtucket WINS! 8-6

And I'm winging this one because I left my scorecard in the car.

Normally, this is something I'd footnote, but I have to mention that as soon as I sat down, I noticed David McCarty sitting right in front of me on the field holding a microphone. I was way more excited about this than I was about Gabe Kapler rehabbing in right field. Because, let's face it, Gabe Kapler cannot pitch.

I remember going to Red Sox opening day in '04. They were playing Toronto and losing. Of course. Things were getting pretty hairy towards the end and David McCarty came in to pitch, which delighted my sisters and I. So much so that the old Boston grouch sitting in front of us turned around and asked, "Why you so big on that guy?"

Later that year in Baltimore, Derek Lowe was removing his socks in the bullpen and ranting and raving to D. Wallace about his roster exclusion. Pedro was also inexplicably hanging out in the bullpen, messing with a fungo bat. And the Orioles game was crammed with second stringers, including one Mister McCarty, who stopped singing "Danny Boy" long enough to pitch a pair. Again, the sisters were delighted at the neat eggrolling of a season.

Yeah, so, back in Pawtucket, McCarty was doing commentary or something. No Big Team last night meant NESN coverage of the Pawtucket Peasants. And, whoa, it was Seat Cushion Night! Hotchka!

Marc Deschenes started this game. He is totally falling in love with me. He was uncharacteristically erratic, giving up 7 hits and 3 runs over 5. He also walked 3 guys. Don't you think that normally, his stuff is electric? In fact, you MIGHT say he is an electrician! You MIGHT even say he does his own wiring, at home AND at work!

Relief: Holtz good, Hertzler gave up two runs, Baker fine. Hertzler kind of sucks.


Ricardo Rodriguez started for the Braves. Dude, you know your starter's got nothing when Corky Freaking Miller is 2 for 4 against him. And Enrique Wilson grannied. Come on.

I felt like I was holding my breath any time Gabe Kapler was not standing perfectly still. I kept waiting for his ankle to wrench out and send him tumbling. It just seems way too early for him to be running like that. I don't like it one bit. And I know the ladies like Gabe... I get it, I really do. I like him, too, but not because of his sculpted, glistening torso. I like his warm, gentle, nurturing ways. I like him in glasses, trying to look smart. And I like him UNINJURED.

Earlier this week I commented on Scott Thorman, Atlanta Braves infielder. I mentioned that he was hot or something. I can't believe I forgot to tell you the most important thing. He totally mashes. I think he got about 8 hits last night in 5 at bats. You see a guy like that and you think, wow, he's gonna BE somebody someday! But it doesn't work that way, does it? Two words: Phil Plantier.

I'm gonna stop right about now. Four games and out, eh, Pawtucket? See you in ten days. But not you, Luke Allen.