potholes in my lawn

I went over to the hospital this evening to pay a visit to a couple of people who probably needed some mild entertainment. Funny... we were talking about the Delmon Young 10-meter Competitive Bat Toss and the nurse said, "I was at that game." Us, too! On my way out, I got out of the elevator on the wrong floor. So I figured, it's only one floor up, I'll just take the stairs. Everyone knows that it's usually faster to walk up a flight of stairs than to wait for the elevator, wait for the doors to open, then close, then you press the button... am I wrong?

But when I got to the stairwell exit, I discovered that I needed a swipe card to enter the next level. Shit. I descended the stairs to get back to the elevator, only to discover that in order to return to the lobby, I needed a swipe card. Shit! So I went up another flight of stairs and, yes, I could not escape the stairwell.

Finally, I went down, down, down to the trash compactor. I was standing precariously atop the muck and the bilge and then the trash mashing mechanism was activated and the walls started closing in on me... closer, closer... I thought it was curtains for me until I rather cunningly used a staff to block the walls...

Not really. I walked out through the refuse exit and into a garden. It was surrounded by a fence. I couldn't get back into the hospital, either, becuase I DID NOT HAVE AN ACCESS CARD. I could not get buzzed in. I could not get over the pointed fence. The wind was blowing hard. The swings in the playground were flying high. There was no one around. It was dark.

I noticed a trashcan blowing around. AHA! I snagged that one, found another one, and put one on either side of the fence. Stood on top of trashcan one, swung over the fence onto trashcan two. I am MacGuyver. I'm a butterfly and butterflies are free to fly.

Guess who's on the Baltimore Orioles? Brad Chadford and Scott Williamson, former Boston relievers. They even sort of look alike. Are they effective at this point? Does it matter? Bradford will NEVER be out of a job.

Kevin Millar's returning to Baltimore as well. I'm sure he's thrilled.

Royce Clayton is now a TORONTO BLUE JAY!!! Welcome back to the AL. Try not to blow it.