murders and decapitations

My brother the Yankees fan bought tickets to a Devil Rays game in July. So I'm going back to that park. Yankee Stadium, that is.

From what I understand, I'll be up up up high. It could work out if I need to push a fan over the railing.

fudge?

I finally got blockaded completely from old Blogger.

This is all making me uneasy, but I s'pose I'll get over it.

even when I'm with my boo

Blessed be. I have 4 tickets to an Indians game so I can burst into tears when I see Trot. I am going to sell two of them. My boss has said that he would very much like to take his kid to his first Red Sox game. My boss is a good guy.

Other voices have been telling me that I can easily get 200 per. That's a hell of a profit for a poor lady like me, who regularly gets her utilities cut off and has to GET CABLE TV BACK FOR BASEBALL SEASON! I drive a FORD, for crying out loud. I still have dial up internet. I can't afford an iPod. I can't keep myself in meth. And you really should see my curtains.

So what do I do? Hook up Force or see what eBay gets me? Who are you talking to? Generosity is one of the best cheap highs around.

I'll sell 'em to the boss. My boss is a good guy.

way to ruin eastern Pennsylvania

Disgusting quotes from various sources:

"Accompanied by Ol' Blue Eyes crooning "New York, New York," northeastern Pennsylvania's minor league baseball team revealed its new name: the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Yankees."

"When the Yankees snapped up the Phillies' former affiliate, the Scranton/Wilkes Barre Red Barons, the substantial Yankee fan base in northeastern Pennsylvania responded by buying thousands of Red Barons tickets for the 2007 season."

"This is important to the area," said general manager Jeremy Ruby. "Being able to call ourselves the Yankees, that's the ultimate in minor league sports."

"I would say that about 50 percent of the baseball fans in our area are Yankee fans,” said Lackawanna County commissioner Robert C. Cordaro, who announced the deal Thursday. "So there’s widespread jubilation."

"Guaranteed income, professional management and the New York Yankees," Cordaro said. "It doesn’t get much better."

Good point:

"First, why did Scranton-Wilkes Barre even feel the need to change their nickname from the Red Barons ? That name at least had some tradition and relevance. To change it to Yankees (in a time when nobody anymore is using the parent team's name) seems like a pure marketing scheme, and nothing else."

"New York is invading NEPA...there has always been a tension NEPA between New York Fans and Philly fans with the occasional Pittsburg Fan, it seems Philly is giving up and defending the Lehigh Valley with the move of the AAA team to Allentown and the Reading Phillies take care of the wesrten side of the philadelphia sports sphere. But with this obviosu New York influcne i would rather live in South Jeresy than NEPA now "

"Does anyone here even care that the Phillies are severing all ties to the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Red Barons after this season?"

"If the ten teams had gotten together and picked the assignment that minimizes the crow-mile total, they would have paired as follows:

Baltimore Orioles - Columbus Clippers
Washington Nationals - New Orleans Zephyrs
Philadelphia Phillies - Norfolk Tides
New York Mets - Ottawa Lynx (and then Allentown Allies)
New York Yankees - Scranton Wilkes-Barre Red Barons

The total crow-miles would now be 1983..."



and i will hang my head
hang my head low

we wrote this song 'cause it's fucking boring

Recently I posted something about Foulke pitching to Trot. Turns out I flunked math or something because Foulke and Trot are on the same team. Keith Foulke did not return to the White Sox. My bass!

I did not really give a proper send-off to Nixon.

I don't want to tell a lot of Trot Nixon stories, nor do I want to essay it up and do a whole "What Trot Nixon Means To Me" thing. I was looking through my album and I found a pair of photos... one from Fort Myers in '04, one from a Fenway game I went to where I sat by the on-deck circle. Spring Training pictures are wrecking me lately. This time of year is heartless.
I'm listening to 'Four Cornered Night' and I'll just say

Trot Nixon
You're the only summer that I think I'll ever know

the boy with the thorn in his side

It is with heavy heart that I say goodbye to Pawtucket bullpen superstar Bad Braker. He has been snapped up by the Twins and will most likely play in Rochester. Braker was a right-hander with a presence of some sort on the mound. He will be most remembered for pitching an inning or two and getting the occasional groundout. Another jewel gone to this rock n' roll crown.

Bad Braker was from Brattleboro, Vermont. Hey, I used to go there!

Who dey?

The following dudes were on the Red Sox 40-man at the onset of 2004:

LHP Nick Bierbrodt
RHP Jerome Gamble
RHP Reynaldo Garcia
RHP Brian Hebson
C Michel (not Michael?) Hernandez

You may also barely remember:

Jason Shiell
Andy Dominique
Phil Seibel
Tim Hamulack
Colter Bean
Jamie Brown

I was looking at a Minnesota Twins spring training program from 2004. That's all. Just... flipping through it.

Stupid Spring Training.

Helton Skelton

I have nothing to add here. I'm just cracking myself up.

if i could make a wish i think i'd pass

Wow, that was depressing. I just watched the Hollies video and I almost lost it. Death by drowning... any kind of suffocation. Hell.

Happy birthday to Mother.

Felix Hernandez has slimmed down.

And the Mariners are dragging Jeff Weaver on board as well. I love the Mariners, did you know that? I mean... Ichiro... Edgar Martinez...a tradition of contending (almost got that wild card in '03!)... that glorious, glorious park.

If I could have one single wish, it would be to see the Mariners play their first game of the year against the Boston Red Sox. I could truly die happy at that point. But that probably won't be until September or something. I'm not worried about getting tickets to a Mariners game late in the year! I mean, who wants to see THAT?

In other news, I now own my first pair of honest-to-goodness lucky socks. At about 10:30 yesterday morning I said to myself, "Do I REALLY want to go through this again?" And I almost just logged off. Because of the anguish and disappointment thing.

But I hung in there and then suddenly... okay, Opening Day tickets sold out, but I was at least IN THERE! I aimed for the first day of the homestand v. Cleveland but that was a no go... so I got WALKWAY ADVISORY loge bx. for the second game. I have sat in w. advisory seats before and it's not bad. And then when it comes time to type in all my info I get anxious because there's a time thing and I'm so fucking glad my name isn't like Eugenia Q. Wigglebottom of 14000 West Apple Orchard Viewcrest Circle.

And that's just crazy. When it asked if I wanted to add another game, I saw the YOU HAVE 90 SECONDS TO COMPLETE THIS FORM and panicked and just x'd out. Tried to get in again... cut and pasted the address and tinkered with its components which entailed my counting games and weird stuff like that. I don't know if my genius aided me or not, but I got back in again a few minutes later for a D-Rays game. I'm one of the few people that prefers the Devil Rays over the Yankees when it comes to matchups, so, yay, lucky me.

So by 11:45 I had maxed out my 8 ticket limit and I was done. Thank Socks I decided not to quit! The black spot denotes the PRECISE LOCATION of my Indians seats. I contacted NASA and together we used charts and graphs and chemicals to pinpoint the spot on the seating chart. I am going to sell two of the four seats at some point.

The yellow spot is just a blobby approximation of the Devil Rays tickets. NASA was getting all needy and clingy and I'm a single successful lady.

I am without question more thrilled that I got in and got tickets more than I am about actually attending these games. Isn't that unhealthy?

another homemade christmas in kentucky

Former Red Sox legend Mark Bellhorn has been signed to a minor league contract by Cincinnati.

I wonder how fat he got in the off-season?

What this means is that he'll probably be in Pawtucket July 20th-23rd with the Louisville Bats.

That's kind of depressing.

It's interesting how the Bats use a bat as their logo and not, say, a pair of crossed Louisville Sluggers. Probably a dumb idea to name your team after its own equipment.

I saw a lot of Louisville Bats games last year. I remember thinking they were not at all interesting.

departure

Well, hell.

Boston has gone and signed Kevin Cash to a minor league contract. Kevin Cash is a catcher. So does that mean Pawtucket'll be Kottaras-free? If not, then who is your go-to catcher? Wasn't K. Cash on the Blue Jays a couple of yrs ago?

I don't want to see another Ken Huckaby. I want a Kelly Shoppach.

I saw a taped interview with GK on the internet. Heinous loser Tom Caron was interviewing him. Kottaras seemed quiet and shy, meek and mild, soft as snow (but warm inside). Please, do not be fooled by that. That is a jock's oldest trick.

I met a woman last night who said a lot of the PawSox players used to come into her bank. She said her favorite was Adam Stern because he was 'cute'. I wanted to find out more, but I had a feeling her information was going to fall into the "cute/not cute" category.

Plus Adam Stern is barely cute. He does get mad ladies, though.

You know something?

I really wanted the Tigers to win the World Series.

The Somethings versus The One Thing

Say you have the Pirates, the Giants, the Knicks, the Quakes, the Packers, the Penguins, the Fisher Cats, the Sox and the Rox.

Then you have the Jazz, the Curve, the Wild, the Spirit... okay, I can't think of any more. I'm not sure how I feel about singular object team names.

I was at a party once and I was talking to this gent about different things and he said he was from Altoona. Home of the Curve, says me. And he was flabbergasted that I would know that.

Oh, but you have no idea.

So in Altoona Curve news, now that The Nation's Number One Closer Mike Gonzalez has busted out of the Pirates' org., some kid named Matt Capps might be all up in there. The Pirates' AAA team is in the IL, but I don't remember seeing this guy. You don't forget a name like Capps.

A few things about MC:
1. fastball guy who needs to work on off-speed stuff... which, you're pretty stupid if you don't have that kinda repertoire going into the majors
2. he saved 7 games in AA Altoona
3. he's 6'2" 245 which makes him... husky
4. he ain't afraid of nothin' and has the balls of a burglar
5. pitched in 85 games in Pittsburgh, mostly as a set-up guy

K, good luck.

cositas

At some point, Keith Foulke is going to pitch to Trot Nixon and almost no one in Boston will see it happen.

1.20.07 PC Friars v. Rutgers Somethings: basketball!

PC WINS! 78-63

My first ever basketball game! I didn't know what to expect, since whenever I flip past a game on television, it just looks like a lot of running back and forth and jumping. But last night, I saw precision and deliberation. Execution. Dedication. Consideration. Multiplication. Precipitation.

Sheraud... Sharaud... whatever. Curry. He is the short guy. Herbert Hill is the beast. There was a dance squad and it was stupid. I can see cheerleaders, but not nine ladies dancing. I learned about fouls and conferences and zone defense. It was quite a spectacle. I would do it again, since it was an exciting yet reasonably priced sporting event (eight dollars).

I think I may have liked the hockey game a little better, though. I like faces mashed up against plexiglass.

Hot Stove Party: A Summary of Events

I don't want to get too sticky here, but I really cannot tell you how cool it is that the PawSox do this every year. Where else can you interact with highly ranked prospects, get innumerable autographs, get to hang out in the batting cages and clubhouses, and cram your gullet with as many hot dogs and Jax and soda pops as it can hold? And all for FREE? Not only that, but you get to see all the pennants and trophy cases and newspaper clippings and awards and such lining the hallways that dudes like Trot Nixon and Don Aase have strolled down. Truly fucking tremendous.

It was cold. Windy. And... not too crowded. I was wrong about that. They were passing out free issues of Baseball America at the gate.

Okay, in the workout/batting cage room, we had some pitchers: Clay Buchholz, Kason Gabbard, and David Pauley. Pitching coach Mike Griffin rounded out the quartet. The pitching kids had some unholy, ungodly footwear. In Gabbard's case, it should not have surprised me, as I often saw him in the most heinous of man-sandals during the season. But... cowboy boots and saddle shoes? WTF?

There were a couple of Q&A sessions with these guys. Nobody asked any good questions, which is what happens when you give the microphone to small children. David Pauley was totally Hollywood... I talked to him briefly afterward and I think he thinks he's hot shit. Mike Griffin was great. Says he has not worked for a place better than Pawtucket, which may have been applesauce, but he sounded sincere to me.

In the PawSox clubhouse, we had the stickmen: David Murphy and George Kottaras. Ron Johnson was in there, too. RJ is a Texas giant up close. He is also quite the raconteur, like most baseball oldsters. More Q&A. Pretzels and ice cubes all over the floor.

In the visitors clubhouse, we had Brandon Moss and his shiny halo, and Rhode Island kid Barry Hertzler. Hertzler looks like a right handed Lenny Dinardo. More Q&A.

And that was it. I did not get any autographs, even though I stood in line. I got introduced to this one hardcore autograph guy (one of those dudes with the binders and junk) and he said, "Are you the woman that loves Marc Deschenes?" He said he had taken a picture of him for me. He also said... hang on... he said that there's an usher in Portland that is also his number one fan. A lady.

So you listen to me, usherette. You may have seen him first but he's with ME now. So STEP OFF!

Oh, Jerry Kapstein was there. As was foretold.

no values

My parents were cleaning out my brother Phil's closet the other day and they found a box of Fleer baseball cards. I saw them in a pile of crap downstairs so I... I took them. No one needs to know. I don't need to keep them, I just want to look at them. They're from the late 80's and not likely to be worth anything, anyway. Keith Hernandez. Mike Scioscia. Mookie Wilson.

Just now realizing they're in order by team. Hello, Carlos Quintana and Jody Reed!

The reason Phil's closet is being cleaned out is because he died a few years ago. It takes a long time to clean the room out, to let go.

Not really. Phil lives in Massachusetts with his wife and baby. UNFORTUNATELY.

1.19.07 Providence Bruins v. Springfield Falcons: The Haitian Invasion

Springfield WINS! 3-2

Mug Night tonight!

Say, there were a lot more people in attendance than I thought there'd be. Let's hear it for the minor league hockey subbacultcha!

The game was tied after three periods, so we got sudden death and then a shootout. I have never seen a shootout. What's more, I never knew such a thing existed. So that was good. I thought the P-Bruins (that's what we call 'em) should have won. During the third period, they had possession of the puck way more than the Falcons. But Springfield's goalie was balls-out and didn't let anything get past him, which is I guess the most important thing.

All in all, the game was exciting and I got a free mug. I also paid ten dollars for the "yearbook", which is rip-offery of the highest order. There was not even a schedule in it. Not very smart. But, hey... there's a player named "Zinger" on the team. What's better than that?

I'll be back at the Providence Civic Center tomorrow night for the PC basketball game. Opponent: Rutgers. But first, the Pawtucket Hot Stove Party! Everything's coming up Millhouse!

Ryan Khoury v. Bryan Corey

Ryan "Ryno" Khoury is a smallish twenty-two year old kid from Utah. You may have seen him in Pawtucket last year, playing the infield.

Khoury only played in nine games in Pawtucket. He spent most of '06 in Lowell. Since he started 2006 still in college, he struggled a little bit in the low minors (the wooden bat thing). Defense still needs work, but he's a good, patient hitter. I imagine he'll start '07 in Portland.

DL interview on BA

RHP Bryan Corey is an older gent who's been all over AAA. After being released by the TX Rangers last year, he pitched but one inning in Boston. Mostly, BC hung out in Pawtucket. He looks like... well, he looks like a stern farmer who lives all alone in a busted, greywood house on a crab-grassy and dead farm and probably kills people who trespass. And even some people who don't. He keeps their bodies out in the barn.

I realize that this is not nice. I hope Bryan Corey is not one to Google himself.

zzzzzzzz

I'm a community college kind of lady.

I haven't taken any classes for years and years. One morning while I was ironing my slacks I said to myself, "I need to go back to school because my lovely brain is going to atrophy." And so it was that I took the "Accuplacer" test and signed up for a couple of courses.

One of them is a math "lab". Now I don't know about you, but when I hear the word "lab", I picture Bunson burners and Ehrlenmeyer flasks and test tubes and minor explosions. In this case, it's the kind of lab in which you wear giant 70's-style headphones and self-test. The cool thing is, I can finish the semester early and never go back to the lab again if I get all the testing done early. This means I can cut out for PawSox games.

Also, all the signs that say "MATH LAB"... I want to slap an E over the A. Meth labs are deadly yet hilarious.

So, yeah, math. And Pedro has a 19 year old son. I still can't get over that.

Now I am really, REALLY going to sleep. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"and I will love you so... for always!"

Duane Hernandez

D-Rays prospect Elijah Dukes is in trouble again. He got arrested after he was pulled over and the cops fround weed in his car. Dukes gets in trouble a lot. Instead of being disgusted, I'm disheartened. Because I like him. He's talked about quitting baseball and I hope he doesn't.

In Fat Guy news, the Padres are pursuing David Wells and catcher Matt LeCroy's going back to the Twins, albeit as a minor leaguer. LeCroy was taken out of a game in '06 because the opposing team kept running on him because they knew he couldn't get runners out.

It's not much, but it's all I got. zzzzzz

buck

Small-market MLB teams that don't draw very well are sometimes described as having an apathetic fan base.

This is not exactly true. The fans are not apathetic. They're just as passionate as we are. There's just less of them.

Remember, small-market teams: no matter how crappy your players are, no matter how long it's been since you've contended, no matter how empty your park is, somebody out there loves your ass.

Corrective action

Found this replica jersey being sold on eBay. The seller was describing it as a commemorative Johnny Damon jersey, since he rehabbed in Pawtucket in like 2004.

Well, I don't think JD ever came to Pawtucket. And furthermore, I was at the park when they gave those out. It is, in fact, a jersey-like t-shirt that commemorates the 25th anniversary of baseball's longest game. That's how they looked back then, see.

So I had to let the seller know in a nice, non-Simpsons comic book guy way. Never underestimate the power of ' : ) '. They were very appreciative and immediately altered the listing.

Nice work, seller!

pre-game

When you get to the park and you're over by Yawkey Way and your group has met up and you walk up to the big bunch of people squeezing through the turnstiles onto Yawkey and you can hear over and over:

"dee doo dee doo" (which is the high-pitched sound of the tickets being scanned)

I like thinking about that, but only for a few seconds.

Rhino Re-Issues Dinosaur Jr CDs (expanded and remastered)

Green Mind:

1 The Wagon
2 Puke+Cry
3 Blowing it
4 I Live for that Look
5 Flying Cloud
6 How'd you pin that one on me
7 WATER
8 MUCK
9 THUMB
10 GREEN MIND

bonus tracks
11 Hot Burrito #2
12 turnip Farm
13 forget it

Talkin' Patriots

New England WINS! and I am out ten dollars.

It was a close one. King of America Tom Brady was off to a bad start. Lovers lied and poets dreamed. The albatross and the whale, they are my brothers. It looked like the Chargers were in.

With minutes to spare, the Patriots came back and won. I'll bet you were pretty excited about that, weren't you? Well, not me. My heart went out to Ladanian Tomlinson and his crappy coach. And his teammates, of course. But mostly Tomlinson because he is handsome.

Plus I lost a bet. To paraphrase Marcel, I am not cut out for gambling.

Craig Breslow's 2004 scouting report

"Hands over head, drop and drive orriented delivery. Sits down into his pitches, ball comes in flat as result. Rushes out, head changes heights constantly. Falls slightly towards 3B due to aggressive backside. Entire delivery is hurried and tough to repeat, leads to command issues. Arm stroke is funky, autographer with hand out of hand break. Quick arm. Location hurts him. Stuff isn't that bad but plays well below avg due to command issues. FB sits @ belt. Struggles to get strike one. Once behind he starts grooving his offerings. Sits @ 86-87 , spins an ok CV but struggles to locate it within the zone. Too many command issues for him to be successful at the High A level where hitters are good enuf to punish mistakes."

It's not called Industrial Highway anymore.

Boston signed RF Alex Ochoa to a minor league contract. Not sure what this means for David Murphy. Actually, when reached for comment via time machine, Murphy stated, "I have complete trust in this organization. I'll do whatever they need me to do to help the team."

Ochoa's a smidgen older than I am. He's spent the past three years living la vida loca in Japan (Chunichi). I hope he got to go to Kyoto. I heard Kyoto is awesome.

Back in the day, like 1995, the Mets were HOTTT for Alex Ochoa. He seriously got paid. And now look. At this point, I'm assuming he'll take on the Enrique Wilson role in Pawtucket. I can't wait to meet him. After all, he's got a ring!

More good news for Red Sox fans: Rodrigo Lopez has left Baltimore for the craggy peaks and thin air of Colorado. Lopez used to freaking deal versus guys like Will Mueller, Bob Bellhorn, Danny Mirabelli, and Ken Millar. Remember those guys? Wait, who was the fat one again?

Kyle Snyder's coming back, too, but who cares. Kyle Snyder is no Kason Gabbard.

OCHOA!!

Cubbage

Mike Cubbage played baseball for seven years. He once hit for the cycle in Toronto. He was mostly a utility guy. One of the best things that happened in his baseball career was in 1977. Cubbage was on the Twins. The pitcher for the Mariners, Stan Thomas, threw four balls at Cubbage. Thomas was still pissed that Mike had stolen his girlfriend back in the minors.

After that, Cubbage was a manager in the Mets organization. While he did manage the Mets for 7 games one year, he spent the most time managing the AAA Tidewater Tides (now the Norfolk Tides). In 1987 and 1988, he took the team to the International League Governor's Cup playoffs. The Tides lost to Rochester and Columbus, respectively.

In 2002, Mike Cubbage replaced Wendall Kim as the Red Sox third base coach. During the 2002 spring training, Cubbage was named interim manager after Kerrigan got the boot. He managed the team under Grady Little in '02 and '03.

Cubbage will probably be remembered best for two things. First, he made Manny Ramirez hurt his finger on a head-first slide into home plate. HOW COULD HE HAVE WAVED HIM IN? GOD!!! Secondly, he selflessly detracted attention away from a dismal pitching performance by Pedro when he "collapsed" at third base due to a diabetes incident.

Last I heard, Mike Cubbage was doing scouting for the Devil Rays.

Providence Civic Center

Some people call it the Dunk. Some people are stupid. Yes, it's the Dunkin' Donuts Center, but how lame is that?

Providence Civic Center events attended:
1. Mötley Crüe. Tommy Lee's drum set spun around. I was deeply involved with Nikki Sixx. Sadly, he never proposed to me.
2. Whitesnake. The less said, the better.
3. Ozzy Osbourne. I may have taken LSD that night. I at least took a limousine.
4. A car show or five.
5. The Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey Circus! Very exciting for a little girl. My mother says I would not stop dancing and that I even did a somersault in the aisle. I vaguely remember a dark, hard, gummy floor.
6. The Ice Capades! zzzzzzzzz
7. A Providence Bruins game. Three periods? The hell?

It used to be pretty exciting going there. I'm talking about the 70's, people. Coliseums were a big deal.

I bought PC Friars and P-Bruins tickets today. It's the Summer of Sports!

It's just a song about the knife.

Two things:

1. Pee-Wee Herman lookalike Lou Merloni has been collected by the Oakland A's. I now like the Oakland A's a little less. He'll be in the minors, so I guess that's okay.

2. Hated fathead Karim Garcia, who did not appreciate it in 2003, was signed to a minor league contract by the Phillies. I may boo him when the Lynx come to Pawtucket.

3. The Mets have a new bullpen hottie. I mean lefty. Scott Schoeneweis for 3 years at $10.8m.

4. Former Boston/Pawtucket ineffective pitcher Jason Johnson is in the aeroplane over the sea to Japan to play for the Seibu Lions.

5. Javy Lopez is thrilled to have been picked up by the Colorado Rockies. He has always wanted to play for such a great organization and is excited to be part of a contending team. The Rockies were high on his list of teams he thought just might need a guy like him.

6. 2005 Pawtucket Red Sox team member Luis "Figgy" Figueroa will be in the Giants organization in 2007.

2007 Eastern League All-Star Game

The 2007 Eastern League All-Star Game is going to be held in Norwich, Connecticut at Dodd Stadium. I can't wait!

It'll be the Northern Division v. the Southern Division. There will be hot dogs, pennants, musketry and plantation burnings.

Free parking!

up on time again

Are you working tomorow? What time? Did you park behind me?

Would you mind moving your car? I mean, you can just leave your keys on the table and I'll do it in the morning if you want. I just thought if you're not busy. Just park behind the van if you're gonna move it now. He doesn't leave until 9.

if I don't go outside today I never will

A few days ago I mentioned the Brockton Rox Hot Stove banquet. A new guest has been added: some guy name of Papelbon. Jonathan. Supposed to be pretty wild.

On New Year's Eve, I toasted one thing: Papelbon. Not the newlyweds, not good health, not the bartender. I am a superstitious hyperrealist. Go, kid, go!

Out in the Storage Unit

You would think that having an employee holiday gathering would be a festive, merry occasion and not a complicated, divisive and controversial event. Seriously.

We spend more time with our co-workers than we do with most members of our family. We probably fight with them more, too. Check out what happened in Durham at the end of their season: the coaching staff got the heave-ho. Here's the list of resume duster-offers:

1. manager John Tamargo
2. pitching coach Joe Coleman
3. hitting coach Richie Hebner (that name sounds familiar... was he in the MLB?)
4. trainer Tom Tisdale

I have to think that a lot of it has to do with Delmon Young and the ensuing mayhem. Elijah Dukes had a few legal problems as well. Word on the street is that there was a lot of cussin' and brawlin' in the Durham clubhouse. Hey, you can't do anything about a bunch of brats on the way up... might as well try a new manager.

The Durham Bulls paid only one visit to Pawtucket last year. Bum City! Second verse, same as the first. In 2007, it'll be May 15-18th, the 16th being a day game. I cannot miss this series.

You're about as easy as a nuclear war.

One of these days, I'm going to be at the grocery store/carnival/beach and I'm going to see someone who was in a Fenway crowd scene on one of my DVDs. There is no doubt in my mind that I'd walk up to them and mention it. With uninhibited excitement.

There's a scene in the 2003 Cowboy Up! DVD where BK Kim is running and you can see my party of four sitting behind home plate. You cannot see our t-shirts spelling out "TROT", but there we are. We were perhaps overly boisterous for the premium seats we'd paid a fortune for. Tim Wakefield pitched that game so I had a batter's perspective on the knuckleball. When I watched the video of that game, I could hear one or more of us shouting, "SHOW 'EM THE DANCER!!"

Trot did not even play in that game. Our shirts were for naught. Well, aside from my riding the T in from Quincy Adams with a giant T on my shirt to meet R, O, and the other T on Yawkey. I wanted to be O, damn it.

I still wear that shirt once in a while.

Nomar's younger, less-talented brother.

Another awesome scouting report, this one on Michael Garciaparra:

"Athletic MIF who is learning how to play the game. Med. frame. Lower 1/2 developed. Narrow upper body. Strength coming but has yet to translate to game. Sets up pre loaded like his brother. No stride. Doesn't have strength or batspeed for swing. Contact is weak in BP and game. Can't drive a ball into the gap. Aggressive, hits early in ct. Hands blown up by avg stuff. Can't see him developing into big league hitter, while I am sure he has made some strides since signing he is still a long, long way away from being anything more than an easy out. Swing isn't projectable, doesn't make gd contact so you can't see any power developing. Fringe avg runner, out of the box quick. Runs hard. Doesn't have defensive tools to be a SS. Arm strength fringy, playable @ 2B. Hands not very soft and he is prone to careless errors and unnecessary throws. He will be pushed and given every opp. to move up based on where he was drafted and who his bro is. Will find it very diff. to get out of AA."

Is it wrong that I find these so entertaining?

hotel

How could you pay that much for your hotel room?

David Ortiz may never go home.

I know that Ortiz is somewhat of a gadabout in the Dominican, but he's been spending an awful lot of time in Boston this off-season. He did mention this in a recent interview, saying, "Come on, man, I'm a Bostonian!"

My friend was at the Roxy and Ortiz was either a)celebrating his birthday or b)celebrating someone else's. No matter how you slice it, DO was being his usual magnificent self. Even though he was in the VIP section, he still talked to the peons below him and gave my friend a ring pop when she went over to say hello.

So if someone asks you, "How do you feel about David Ortiz?" and you don't immediately reply "I love him!", you are either a Yankees fan or you have given your voice to a sea hag so you can walk on dry land and seduce a dim-witted prince.

I love him.

one day this ground will break and open up for me. i hope it will. i hope it will.

Member how the Minnesota Twins picked up Giants' AA dude Brian Buscher? I just came across his scouting report (shhh!):

"Stocky player who is going wrong direc. Body is getting worse. Dumpy lower 1/2. Low energy. Barrel chested. Sets up open and off plate. Short arms make it hard for him to cover plate. Swinging off his back ft. Very slow bat. Swings like he's in a swimming pool. Makes contact and clean contact but ball goes absolutely no where. Must've raked w/aluminum. Takes some of the worst swings in the league. Rolls over lots of balls. Can't go the other way with authority, in fact he can't pull the ball with any authority. Gd feel for bathead allows him to make contact against soft stuff but power is essentially nonexistent for such a big strong guy playing a premium offensive position. Gets blown away by gd stuff. Don't see much in the way of offense @ upper levels. Mediocre raw power. Defense seems to have gone backwards
as well. Not likely to be able to stay @ 3B @ upper levels. 2B is out of the question with slow ft. Basically looking at a guy who belongs @ 1B from a defensive standpoint. Bat won't play anywhere. Should get back to AA next yr but can't see him moving any higher. Don't see org. value."

Do you think the players ever see these? Because that has to sting a little. Never knew scouting reports said stuff like "swings like he's in a swimming pool" or "dumpy lower 1/2".

Good luck with your fat defensive liability, Rochester.

It's just that Jigga Man, Pimp C and Bun B.

PAWTUCKET HOSTS 30TH ANNUAL HOT STOVE PARTY

On January 20th, McCoy's hosting the fanglamorous thing there. It is likely to be heavily attended. I'm not talking about the free hot dogs. I'm talking about the guests:

1. Clay Buchholz!
2. David Murphy!
3. David Pauley... okay,!
4. Barry Hertzler. Not really worthy of a '!'.
5. RJ and Griff
6. Kason Crappard
7. Possibly... probably... Jerry Kapstein!
8. ME!
9. Brandon Moss (allegedly)

Gates open 11:00am. Gates close at 2, I guess. It's gonna be great. Looking forward to seeing Buchholz and B. Moss. And my pal J-Kap. YES!

Providence Sports

There's a Mexican grocery on Broad St here in The Central Falls called "Tierras Mexicanas". It is a great place to go if you cook a lot of Mexican food. Or if you're Mexican, I guess. But if you go all the way to the back of the store, there's a kitchen and a lady and you can get some eats. I love this store.

The last time I was there I noticed the free publication "Providence Sports". Never heard of it, which is a shame since it's been published for eight years. Damn! It's written entirely in Spanish, but if you took it in school you should be all set. It covers professional sports and local amateur sports with a focus on Latin players.

One of the greatest things I read about in the December issue was La Liga Brava, which is a Latino softball league in Rhode Island. I am completely blown away that I have not heard about this before. There're quite a few baseball articles and the columnists do a great job infusing them with wit and good humor. I love it.

Just a fucking thought.

If you're attending an event, such as a sports-related competition or a rock n' roll concert, and you're paying to get in, and the venue has a parking lot, you should be able to USE the parking lot at no additional cost.

I wanna be on top!

Mean People: Do They Suck?

Happiness: A Warm Gun?

Ignorance: Bliss?

These are the types of headlines that appear on, say, your AOL welcome screen or as teasers for the WJAR 10 nightly news. Well, maybe not WJAR... we'll say FOX 64. I'm not a huge believer in aphorisms such as these, but guess what? I'm getting a little ign'ant today!

Back in 2003 when my heart and head were swollen with the Boston Red Sox, "Theo" started talking about the whole closer/bullpen by committee thing. I put Theo in quotes because although he was the mouthpiece for this concept, I'm sure it was an idea that developed among the staff in general. And, lo, the whole world hated this plan. The pitching staff appeared rickety in spring training and then downright crappy in their first few games in TB. I'm talking to YOU, Chad Fox.

But wait a minute, Dad... did you actually say 'freedom'? Isn't it always bullpen by committee? Yeah! So all that's happening is that your closer is going to be whatever guy you think is going to get those last few batters out. Is it the bottom of the order? Okay, Frank Castillo might be okay. Is it the meat of the team? Better get Timlin.

So what's so bad about that? Let's say your closer is BK Kim. Gotta save the game. But Kim's shoulder is effed up tonight. Is he gonna say, uh, I don't think I can get these outs? Or is he going to just go out there and battle and possibly blow it? Guess!

Well, first of all, the pitchers hated it. They were definitely not shy about their disdain. I might go so far as to say they were uncooperative. Secondly, the guys we had were... not great. The idea was quietly scrapped after the Shea/BK thing. Or maybe it was loudly scrapped. At any rate, BK Kim came and most people were happy about it.

I told you that to tell you this (tm). Joel Pineiro is coming to town and say hello to your new closer (allegedly). I'm excited about JP and I am looking forward to seeing what's what in spring training, but I do not need him to be the closer. I say: Closer By Committee '07! Why not? It failed the first time, sure, but why not go after it Wile E. Coyote style? Have it backfire spectacularly AGAIN just to be really, really, sure it can never work. I am excited just thinking about Red Sox fans all over the world with red faces and cracked craniums and permanent clenched fists.

Baseball is very slow to evolve. There are still people who hate the DH and the wild card, which are clearly Very Good Ideas. I'd like to see the revolving closer concept successfully implemented in my lifetime. I'd also like to see Doug Mientkiewicz back in Minnesota. With the stupid WS ball. Because I'm sad for him that he's on the Yankees.

Fill your life with January.

Is Brockton a nasty city? A stinktown? That's the word on the street. I don't know much about Brockton but I want to defend it, bless its heart.

Little dirty ol' Brockton will be hosting the Fifth Annual Hot Stove banquet for the Rox on Friday, January 26th. The dull-sounding bash will be hosted by Boston Globe writer Bob Ryan and former Red Sox radiohead Jerry Trupiano. Trupe's kid played on the Rox, but I only remember seeing him get an at-bat or two late in the game. So I don't know if he's still on the roster.

Special guests include mega-awesome manager Chris Miyake and Rox owner Van Schley and a PTBNL. Is Chris Miyake flying from California for this? Imagine if Bill Murray were a surprise guest, just kind of strolling in mid Q&A. That would bring the house down. The house being the Shaw's Center at Campanelli.

All this and bad food, too, for $60. Will I be attending? No. And pee fucking ess, I didn't go see the Friars last night. That would have been a nice game, too, since they handily beat Marquette.

Wow, that was almost my first college basketball game summary! Here's to it!