Keith Ginter was robbed at gunpoint a few years ago.

You can read about it here.

And here.

Boy, am I gonna miss Keith Ginter! He was the sole reason I went to McCoy Stadium.

Chad Spann update!

Well, the story's from August, so it's not exactly fresh news. See that? I'm keeping it real!

If you recall, Spann was released when Jeff Natale returned from his fractured ulna. Or arm or whatever. I was heartbroken by Spann's departure! At any rate, he wound up on the Royals' AAA team in Omaha.

Spann hadn't planned on returning to baseball that season, so he got hisself a jobby-job back in Georgia. But guess what? He got hired!

"I had some independent offers and a couple of 'A' ball offers," he said. "But I was waiting for something like here, where maybe a couple of guys got injured."

Oh, dear.

"Well, I kinda need a job."

Congratulations to Charlie Zink for being nominated for minor league Starter of the Year! Too bad he lost to Madison Bumgarner. Bumgarner plays for the Giants single-A affiliate.

2008 was a great year for Zink. I hope he realizes it's all downhill from here.

Maybe I shouldn't feel too bad for Zink. If your two career choices are 'Professional Golfer' or 'Spending the Summer in RI as a Minor League Starting Pitcher Who Appeared in a Major League Game That One Time', then I guess you're doing okay. Some people toil away in factories and feed their kids tomato soup and hot dogs.

Marshon Invasion!!!

A couple of years ago, I decided to re-sportsify my off season with a little college basketball and minor league hockey.

I've been to a couple of PC Friars games. They have a new coach, you see. I went to Providence College yesterday to buy tickets and OH MY GOD. They are not damn playing. I walked through a HALLWAY OF LEGENDS with a glossy parquet floor and spotlights and framed jerseys to get to the ticket office. I guess I never fully appreciated college sports!

PC won last night. Marshon Brooks went berserk! It was a lot of fun. I won't get into it too much further, because I'll just embarrass myself.

Day Man! aaaah-ahh! Fighter of the Night Man! aaah-ahhh!

2009 Pawtucket Red Sox Schedule

The Red Sox first home game is not until April 17th, when they host the sad, sad Iron Pigs. God, I could be dead by then!

I took a sneak "peak" (sic) at the '09 schedule on their official web site. U can 2.

It's not like Pawtucket is anything special, either.

The Richmond Braves are now the Gwinnett (County) Braves. Up here, we don't mess too much with "counties", since no matter where you are, you're somewhere. The ballpark will open in April, natch. Screw you, Richmond.

The Buffalo Bisons are now very excited to be affiliated with the Mets. The Mets are back in the IL!

The Columbus (Ohio) Clippers are now affiliated with the Indians. Terrific! Makes perfect sense, right, JORDAN BROWN??

The Toronto Blue Jays AAA team is now in the PCL. Yes, it is the conveniently located Las Vegas 51's. Must be so great to have to call players up from Nevada to Canada. I'll bet everyone's really pissed off!

So, yes, Syracuse and its choo-choo lifestyle will be a Nationals affiliate. Maybe Elijah Dukes will rehab there!

pike.

Syracuse Diary:

Over the summer I went to Syracuse for baseball games. I decided to stay in Utica, a little under an hour from Syracuse. I have mentioned all of this before in varying degrees of detail.

On the way to Utica from RI, I noticed my car hitching a little bit on the NY Thruway. I was somewhere between Schenectady and New Amsterdam. Wait... not New Amsterdam, but something Dutch-like. It was in the middle of nowhere, let me put it that way.

I stopped at one of those awful service plazas. I checked my oil, which seemed low. I added a quart and started my car. It seemed fine. I headed back out and everything seemed okay. So there.

Once in Utica, we checked into our shabby motel. It seemed to be run by a family. They were all very sweet and very helpful. You know what I do when I stay in a rundown motel? I pretend I'm staying at someone's house. When you look at it that way, it's more charming. The imperfections are just like any you'd find at a normal residence.

And so in order to get to the ballpark, I'd drive about an hour on the back roads from Utica to Syracuse. I was still nervous about my car, so I wanted to stay off the highway. I AM NOT AN AUTOMOTIVE CLUB MEMBER! That is my confession. I am uncomfortable with auto clubs lobbying for more roads in an anti-environmental way. But it was cute, traveling through the small towns and farms.

You know how when you're in a strange city, once you're there a little while, you get a sense of its layout? Not Syracuse. None of it made sense to me. It was a junkyard, a financial district, a waterfront, a shipping zone, and a shopping mall, all with University buildings in the background peeking through. Syracuse sees you, but you really cannot see Syracuse. I spent most of my time there lost, getting on and off the freeway.

The ballpark, which is called Alliance Bank Park or something, is in a non-residential, warehouse-y traintrack area. Right next to a generic mall. The tracks creep around behind the scoreboard... we went up there and collected snail shells and peeked through the wild shrubs at batting practice. It really felt like an invasion of privacy... they were right there!

Okay, wait, I was talking about my car. On the way back home, I opted for the painfully long ride home on route 20 instead of the thruway/Pike. Most of it was okay! And then I hit Albany. The car started hitching and hiccuping. Up into the Berkshires, amid the trees and mossy rocks. Winding. Creeping up hills, trying not to panic. The check engine light comes on. I pull over and turn the car off. Start it again and go, go, go until I see a garage. I stop, wait, the gent suggests another place for a diagnostic check.

But guess what? I kept driving, right by the other garage! All I wanted was to get out of there, get to Springfield at least, out of the woods!

Of course I made it to Springfield, and of course my car finally died there. I had to wait for someone to come get me... someone with an auto club membership. I was in a hospital zone. Bought a paper, found a picnic table where nurses and surgeons probably stepped out to smoke and sat and ate crackers and listened to my tiny radio.

I had to leave my car in Springfield. If you are ever towed away in Springfield, MA, please hope to get Jose. It was a trying day to say the least, but I think I handled it well.

In summation, Utica is a shithole! Talk about a city that just gave up!! At least Buffalo is trying! Stay the hell out of the Berkshires if your car has over 100,000 miles on it!

Oh, and the Syracuse Chiefs are now affiliated with the Washington Nationals. Former WS Champ Tim Foli was just named their new manager. He was on the '79 Pirates. I'll have break down the affiliation changes separately.

your fond, fond heart

I am tied for first place in my fantasy football league. Not bad for a baseball fan!

I have received my 2009 PawSox tickets. Already.

Gil Velazquez, Josh Wilson, and Chris Smith are on the free agent train. Someday I am going to write a story about Chris Smith, overlooked Pawtucket superstar.

Would anybody like a cat?

I'm going to start thinking about posting more. I may break down my trip to Syracuse, which was pretty miserable and please, don't ever make me spend four days in Utica again.

I found an apartment that I love. It's in an old schoolhouse and it's tiny and old but I love it. No pets, though, which is why I have to either give my cat away or kill her in a way that looks like an accident. Maybe I'll knock her off the porch. Ooops!

Love me tomorrow, not today.

By the way, Eckersley and Hal Reynolds really need to have their own baseball show. It was great to see them both screwing around during a national telecast.

I know more about baseball than Gwyneth Paltrow does.

BJ Upton
Matt Garza
Carlos Pena
JP Howell
Gabe Gross

All played at McCoy Stadium. Perhaps Rocco Baldelli attended a PawSox game or two in his youth, I don't know. Or Dan Wheeler, I guess.

Eric Hinske
Carlos Pena
Chad Bradford
Cliff Floyd

All played for the Boston Red Sox. Cliff Floyd hated it here and Boston fans hated him back, but I didn't know better and I thought he was so cool...

On April 19th, 2007, I stated that Matt Garza was a superstar and that he was awesome. Normally I'd point out how prescient I was, but I tend to say that about a lot of people. I do know that he was exciting to watch in those days.

By the way, Almost Everybody: Terry Francona did not lose this series. How thick-skulled can you get?

It's going to be a really great WS. Happy Halloween and such.

OH! We signed Dewon Day! Remember how I called him Dewon 'Fine' Day? I'm sure I'm not the first person to call him that, but guess what?

Who wants to go bowling? You wanna go?

Is all this really necessary?

"Here are Excel formulas using the pitch/fx fields, which are in [brackets]

Left Strike location:

=IF([px]<0, 10 + 12*[px]+MAX(0,([vx0]*(85/176/[end_speed])+0.5*[ax]*((85/176/[end_speed])^2+2*(85/176/[end_speed])*((-SQRT([vy0]^2-2*[ay]*([y0]-17/12))-[vy0])/[ay])))*12),"")

Right Strike Location:

=IF([px]>0, 10 - 12*[px]+MIN(0,([vx0]*(85/176/[end_speed])+0.5*[ax]*((85/176/[end_speed])^2+2*(85/176/[end_speed])*((-SQRT([vy0]^2-2*[ay]*([y0]-17/12))-[vy0])/[ay])))*12),"")

These formulas yields a null value if the pitch is on the other side of the strike zone, and give you a positive number if the pitch was a strike and a negative number if it was a ball, according to the rulebook rather than any de facto average strike zone. The formula after the MAX or MIN calculates the additional horizontal movement while the pitch passes over the strike zone, based on the horizontal velocity and acceleration parameters (the part that looks like a quadratic equation is figuring out the average velocity and hence time to home plate; it turns out that this is only infinitesimally more accurate than using the average of [start_speed] and [end_speed]).

Low Strike Location:

=([pz]-[sz_bot])*12-1.5

According to the rules, the - 1.5 should be +1.5. Saying -1.5 is saying that the umps in practice require all of the ball rather than any part of the ball to be above the bottom of the kneecaps. After looking at the data, it seems just as likely that they're requiring any part of the ball to above the top of the kneecaps; if you went with that, you would use -2 instead of -1.5. There is no need for an extra clause because the pitch always drops further as it passes over the plate.

Approximate High Strike Location:

=([sz_top]-[pz])*12+1.5+192*((82.5/([start_speed]+[end_speed])+((17-MIN(8.5,12*ABS(ax)))/12)/([end_speed]*22/15))^2-((82.5/([start_speed]+[end_speed]))^2))-(17-MIN(8.5,12*ABS([ax])))/600*[pfx_z]"

link

"Thakns you very much Chris Carter"

In the 2007 off-season, Chris Carter played winter ball in Venezuela for Los Tiburones de La Guaira. You can read about his experiences there, if you're so inclined.

Carter lost about 30 lbs down there, thanks to a parasite. Those pesky parasites!

Side note: Many people think Chris Carter is a great guy. This is because he's warm and friendly and acts like he's your pal. DO NOT BELIEVE THIS. He's like one of the biggest phonies you'll ever meet. I think I'll leave it at that.

Gil V.

I read an article about Gil Velazquez in a RI newspaper which mentioned the murder of his father in 2001. I had no idea.

I have no words of wisdom or any baseball insight. I might go back and read some old posts so I can find inspiration. I currently have near-zero interest in this blog, so there.

Okay, talk to you later.

Catching Up with Shea Hillenbrand

If you've ever wondered what happened to former Red Sox great Shea Hillenbrand, well, wonder no more!

In 2008, Hillenbrand was playing for the Atlantic League's York Revolution. An injury ended his season, and you don't have to be Kreskin to see that he's probably dunzo.

If you remember Shea for anything aside from his brainless steroid use and poor defense, it'd probably be his shitty attitude and great love of animals.

Oh, and here's the 911 tape of his wife calling for help after his son was bitten by one of his pet lemurs.

Two questions I asked Jeff Bailey in 2008

1. "Do you remember Jim Buckley? What happened to him?" (note: Bailey and Buckley shared catching duties in 2006)

Ans: "Uhhh... (long pause)... I don't think he's playing any more."

2. "Do they let you do your laundry here (at McCoy)?" (Note: I asked this because I'd been thinking earlier how awesome and convenient it would be if I had a washer/dryer at work and, hey, if you're a baseball player, YOU DO INDEED HAVE THAT LUXURY!)

Ans: "Uuuhhh... (long, uncomfortable pause, during which I almost said 'Ok, never mind.')... I don't know, I do mine at home."

There you have it! I'm a freelance sports journalist, Ma!

sawhorse people

I have thanked many people for their support and co-operation but I feel like I have overlooked the Sawhorse People.

The Sawhorse People are the many fine folks who wait patiently at the exits to get autographs from the PawSox kids. They can tell you who's in the house, who's gone, who's packing up their car because they've been released, who's an asshole, who's nice, who's new in town, who's rehabbing with the visiting team... all of that and lots of stuff I should probably never put in the blog.

Special thanks to "Buck" "Coats" and M. Timlin. And by the way? Bartolo Colon is awesome.

for that #1 Kyle Snyder fan

I believe it is Cyn at toeingtherubber.com. Anyway, happy birthday or something. Good luck!

so remember... out there somewhere you've got a friend

And you'll never walk alone again!

I had to take a break. Baseball is really hard!

Chris Carter and George Kottaras are collecting dust in Boston. I'm rooting for Tampa Bay but I still have love particles for the Red Sox. You know how it is?

I'm gonna move out of here. Can someone please take my cat?

Best possible world series: Dodgers/Rays. Oh, fuck yes.

HANSACK!!!!!

Things I learned from the 2008 Kansas City Royals program

1. "Wrapped presents and/or gifts of any kind" are prohibited from Kauffman Stadium. Vis: "Please note that if you have a planned party of any kind that includes gifts, we advise either wrapping the gift item at Kauffman Stadium after the item has been inspected or place the unboxed gift item in a gift bag. Our security staff will ask guests to open any wrapped items."

2. Zack Greinke is a humorless asshole! Several players were asked, "If you decided to open a restaurant, what would you name it and what kind of food would you serve?" Greinke's response was, "I'm definitely not opening a restaurant. If I did, it'd have to be a smoothie place or a coffee place." Okay, thanks for playing!

3. The number 5 thing you need to know about LHP pickoff moves, according to first base coach Rusty Kuntz: "When looking at the left toe, if it goes up slightly, it means the pitcher's weight is shifting back to get something on his throw to first base for a pickoff move. If the pitcher's left toe remains on the ground, he is keeping his weight on the ball of that left foot in order to build up momentum to deliver that pitch home."

4. Reliever Ramon Martinez knows how to do several magic tricks and is learning to play the guitar.

5. The first pitch ever thrown in Royals franchise history was chucked by a guy named Wally Bunker on April 8th, 1969. Bunker is now an arts n' crafts guy.

6. Was Jose Guillen's dad abusive? "We knew if he caught us in a lie we were in trouble. I'd tell my brother that we'd need to get under the bed when dad was coming because he was going to get us. When you grow up in that atmosphere, you don't want to lie."

7. When asked what color their front door was, neither Kyle Davies, Alex Gordon, nor Joakim Soria knew the answer.

Thanks to Lucky, for picking up a program for me in Missouri. YEAH PEDRO!!!

whimper

So that's it, I guess. Shelley Duncan the Great Ruiner with a tenth inning home run off Hunter Jones.

I'm not mad at Jones. I think after 2003, I can handle anything.

I've already begun planning off-season sports. I'm deeply involved with fantasy football (I think, I don't know, I don't like football which may be an advantage). People really LOVE attending sporting events with me!

Also, I'm plotting an art heist. You probably think I am kidding. But wait until you read the compendium of 2008's Dumbest Criminals where it says "The criminal was apprehended after local police read about her felonious plans on her public blog".

Coming soon: emotional Labor Day photography.

Bye, guys! Bye!

9.4.08 Red Sox v. Yankees - Game 2, Semi-Finals - ROLL OUT!!

Pawtucket WINS! YES!! 3-1

TERRIFIC game. Devern Hansack versus Ian Kennedy. Hansack needed to be real tuff for this game and he delivered... and then some.

Hansack pitched six no-hit innings for Pawtucket and it totally brought me closer to god. His only problem came in the fifth inning... he walked spoiled brat Nick Green, who advanced to second on a wild pitch. A couple of Yankees groundouts allowed Green to cross home plate for their only run.

Hansack had two walks and EIGHT mighty strikeouts. You's a superstar, boy, why you still up in the hood? I would have loved for him to stay in the game, but you could clearly see the effort was taking its toll. He was also on a pitch count after coming off the DL. But really, it may have been the performance of the yr.

Ian Kennedy was no slouch, either. Seven innings, two runs on five hits, two walks and five strikeouts. The weird thing is that it started with a Van Every walk in the third, like, when does that asshole ever walk? So, yeah, JV walks and winds up getting batted in by Jason Lane. And then in the fourth inning, wicked Italian Corsaletti hits a solo home run.

Superfreak lefty reliever Zachary Kroenke surrendered the third run, a solo HR by Jason Lane in the eighth.

And so with a 3-1 lead in the ninth, big ol' country boy Hunter Jones goes u.d.t. on the Yankees and it was so spiritual. For Pawtucket fans. I hope it was degrading and demoralizing for Shelley Duncan et al.

HANSACK!!!!

what in the world is in that bag?
1. I thought the playoffs would bring a full house to McCoy. I was way off. The park's mostly empty. But the great thing is that the fans there are more hardcore baseball fans, not just a bunch of bored folk and their children. Which leads me to believe that 'playoff atmosphere' means more than just asses on seats.
2. You'd better believe they boo'd the shit out of Melky Cabrera.
3. Gil Velazquez at first again? Yes, and he plays a mean first base. It's all that damn racquetball.
4. As I was leaving, I walked by Charlie Zink getting his crap out of his car. No one noticed. Except me. I should have said hello.
5. Some old-timey PawSox fan was a few rows behind me... a treasure trove of retro baseball heckling. "THAT WAS A 400-FOOT DRIVE... 200 UP AND 200 DOWN!" Ha! Ha!
6. Less amusing was the borderline retarded sideways cap kid a few seats down. Like a wannabe gangsta kid who's probably too old for thick chains? Would not stop bellowing stupid crap like, "COME ON, UMP!!" Hey, d-bag: Your Jesus Christ tattoo on your leg makes Him look decapitated.
7. Kottaras annoyed me when he hacked at the first pitch in his first two at-bats. So much for progress.
8. Oneli! Six-finger satellite Oneli Perez got the last out in the eighth inning. So he's not dead yet.
9. Hansack had two outs in the sixth inning and powerhouse Juan Miranda coming up. RJ walked out to give Hansack the hook but Devern said he wanted to get Miranda. And it almost looked like it wouldn't work, because Miranda smoked a ball toward right field. Fortunately, Gil Velazquez made a crazy catch like over his shoulder and flipped it to Hansack at first. GREAT PLAY.

Win tonight, Red Sox! Fresh fish Adam Mills starts for Pawtucket. Rhode Island gadabout Kei Igawa starts for SWB. DO IT.

9.1.08 Red Sox v. Iron Pigs - s. to L .

Red Sox win 9-2. Squishy balls for everybody!

Bartolo was strong, real strong. He doesn't look as fat in person.

I don't what more I can say. Thank you and good night? But first...

1. The Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs are hopeless. I cringed five times just watching. The fielding is probably the worst. RJ Swindle was the victim of some shoddy fielding... he was visibly disgusted.
2. And, lo, a vision appeared before me on the mound at McCoy Stadium. Matt Childers, Iron Pigs relief pitcher. So, so good looking. They. Cannot. Touch. Him.
3. As I was leaving the park, one of the players drove past me toward the exit. Totally smoking weed. He apparently could not even wait until he got on the highway! It was wafting out his slightly opened window... DAMN.
4. So some guy came and sat behind me and he was pretty annoying ("THAT WAS A STRIKE! COME ON, UMP!"). However, he sounded so much like the lead singer of Molly Hatchet that I couldn't be too irritated. I kinda wanted to turn around and shout, "Flirtin' with Disaster!!!!"
5. One of the Jeffs hit a home run. Pretty sure it was Natale, the Good Jeff. The Evil Jeff (Corsaletti) says stuff like, "When my hot girlfriend told me that the Sox drafted me, I was definitely excited to be part of an organization as prominent as them."
6. I will definitely try to go to Lehigh Valley next year. I just hope that sweet, sweet Matt Childers is still there.

Game one of the semi-finals tomorrow. I'm nervous.

By the way, Boston Red Sox, you can keep Van Every.

Not the Admiral, the other guy.

"Service time is measured in the number of days on the 25-man roster or the Major League DL. It is measured in decimal form with the number of years to the left of the decimal and the number of days on the right. Thus a number of 16.134 reads 16 years and 134 days of service time. 172 days equals a year so 2.172 equals 3.000 years of service time. There are 182 days per season (162 games plus 20 off-days), but a player cannot obtain more than 172 days of service per year."

Pardon me, but I object to this egregious corruption of the decimal system. That's almost as bad as saying 3.1 innings is the same as 3 1/3 innings. Which they do all the time.

The decimal system is honest and pure and true. I love baseball, but they shouldn't fuck with the decimal system. THEY COULDN'T HAVE USED A SLASH?

Team MVP goes to Joe Thurston

No one deserves this award more.

8.31.08 Pawtucket Red Sox v. Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs

2-1 Pawtucket. Edgar Martinez continues to be an honest man on the mound.

Martinez pitched six scoreless innings. He gave up four hits and two walks. Five Lehigh Valley batters struck out against Guapo.

Hunter Jones took over in the seventh and ran into problems, giving up a walk and a single and chucking a wild pitch homeward. He escaped, but gave up a run in the next inning when Iron Pigs DH Chris Snelling singled home Andy Tracy, who'd hit a double in his at-bat.

Team MVP Joe Thurston was responsible for the win. He hit a two-run homer in the third inning. Without him, Pawtucket is nothing.

That is all. I'm heading to the park for the last regular game of the season. Bartolo Colon is pitching. Can you picture that?

they put a hotwire to my head

Congratulations to Bowden for his major league start. I guess.

If I were Pauley, though, I'd be BULLSHIT. I'm sure he called all his friends and family and stuff and everyone was looking forward to his start. I wonder who broke the news to him?

I would be so pissed off if I were Dave Pauley.

8.30.08 Pawtucket Red Sox v Buffalo Bisons - no pido que todos los dias sean de sol...

Pawtucket! Loses! Again! 11-10 in ten innings. It is completely Lincoln Holdzkom's fault. Sorry, Mrs. Holdzkom, it's true. Your son is a terrible reliever.

Devern Hansack is back off the DL. He took it easy tonight, working two innings and giving up two runs (one was a solo HR by former relevant major leaguer Morgan Ensburg) on four hits. He then stripped off his sweaty uniform and took a hot, steamy shower with his eyes closed. The game was tied at two after he left, but Pawtucket scored three runs in the bottom of the second.

GV singled to kick off the second. And then Danielson singled. And then JV singled in Velazquez! And then Josh... wait... Wilson. The other Wilson, not Jack. Yeah, Josh. Anyway, Wilson doubled in Spike Danielson and JV. It was crazy!

The very nice but very inconsistent Jose Vaquedano jumped into the third inning and allowed a two-run homer by Jordan "I'm Jordan Brown" Brown. So that was good. Metro lefty Jon Switzer pitched the fourth and fifth inning and gave up the tying fifth run in the fourth, when Jorge Velandia hit an RBI single.

However! Pawtucket pulled ahead 7-5 in the fifth inning when Dusty Brown sacrificed Jason Lane home and BFF Gil Danielson and Sean Velazquez hit back-to-back singles AGAIN.

Top of the sixth. Red Sox ahead 7-5. Stinkin' Lincoln Holdzkom steps in. He immediately gives up a double to pain-in-the-ass outfielder Trevor Crowe. Holdzkom got the next guy, Velandia... but it advanced Crowe to third and friggin' Jordan Brown singled him home. D'oh! Mike Aubrey pinch hit for Travis Hafner and knocked another single to left.

So... Holdzkom walks Todd Linden... gets a coaching visit. Catcher Chris Gimenez is next and HE singles! Jordan Brown scores! Tie game!

Morgan Ensberg then comes up and hits a two-run single. Holdzkom eventually got the last two outs, but jesus. Why'd he have to come back?

Pawtucket fought back and whatnot but Chris Smith blew the tie in the tenth inning. Pawtucket went down uno-dos-tres in the bottom of the tenth up against Buffalo freak Bubbie "Edward" Buzachero. Good night and please drive carefully.

That is one nutty hospital. I could write a thousand words or more on this game. But I didn't go, so shame on me.

nunco he sido lanzadores asi como los que tiene Pawtucket!
1. New kid Marcus McBeth pitched three strong, giving up a solo home run to Cannizaro in the seventh. He had four strikeouts. I like McBeth a lot. He's also a musician, did you know that? And not some redneck asshole with a guitar and a crush on Toby Keith.
2. Oh yeah, so last homestand I saw Holdzkom at the park... I told someone to go ask him what he was doing there. I guess he cleared waivers and was back in Pawtucket? Except he also said he was 'sort of on vacation'. I should have asked him myself, I guess.
3. Joe Thurston's back! He was caught stealing and picked off. He also went 2-5.
4. Dusty Brown did a terrific job, going 3-4 with a double and three RBI.
5. Danielson again with an outfield assist. What have I told you people?
6. Little known fact: Sean Danielson is Mexican. Probably more than Velazquez is. But not as much as I am.

Tomorrow: Guapo Time! Love love love...

The Most Valuable Player in the International League (post-prandial)

This is such a Mom and Dad picture. Look at your son... you should be proud. Look at that handsome boy!

8.29.08 Pawtucket Red Sox v Buffalo Bisons - Who's That Guy?

Buffalo WINS! 2-0

Starting pitcher for Buffalo: Scott Lewis. WHO? I have not heard of this kid before, but now I will never forget him.

The left-handed Lewis really socked it to Pawtucket. George Kottaras singled in the second and Carter singled in the fifth, but that was that. Both kids were erased by double plays.

Scott Lewis faced the minimum 18 batters in six innings. He had no walks and six strikeouts. He threw 72 pitches... 53 for strikes. Pawtucket looked like shit against him.

Charlie Zink was the opposition. Zink had a great start and under different circumstances would have gotten the win. He pitched eight innings, giving up a solo home run to right fielder Todd Linden. The second run of the night occurred when an error out in foul territory (convergence of infielders) allowed Andy Cannizaro to dash home from third.

Zink had three walks and three strikeouts. Kyle Snyder pitched a scoreless ninth inning, giving up a pair of singles because he's no closer.

park life:
1. Devern Hansack spent the evening in the bullpen. Not sure what's going on with that.
2. No Joe Thurston in the lineup. For that matter, I don't think he was even in the park.
3. I saw Travis Hafner exiting the building. He big-timed the fans. I mean that in the nicest way possible.
4. From my seat near third base, I got a good look at the fielding style of Gil Velazquez at short. It is somewhat impressive. I like how he goes balls-out for tough plays and doesn't half-ass it, even when he knows he's got little to no chance of getting the runner out. He is currently my Favourite.
5. Buffalo's Jason Cooper is a devoted Christian? I won't believe it! No way! Anyhoo, Cooper has been in Buffalo for FIVE YEARS. He's broken the modern era record for most games in a Buffalo uniform (over 400). He is also wicked hot.
6. Victor Martinez was also at McCoy. Allegedly. I did not see him.
7. Former Red Sox greats Tony Graffanino and John Halama were in the house as well. I can't believe it either.

No weekend games for me, but I'll be at the last game of the year on Labor Day. Then playoffs.

CANNIZARO!!!!!

posse

Now that the Boston Red Sox have acquired seasoned outfielder and consummate professional Mark Kotsay, it seems as though Pawtucket slugger Jeff Bailey is somewhat superfluous. I would certainly hope that Theo Epstein takes the PawSox playoff run into consideration and sends the IL MVP back to Pawtucket. Bailey is an important part of the team and in order for Pawtucket to be successful in the post-season, they need him in the leadoff spot.




Mark Kotsay! Yeah! Party! OAKLAND A'S FIRE OIL!!!!

NOW can we get Bailey back? You guys have barely touched him! We need him here in Pawtucket.

YOU ARE NOT EVEN REALLY USING HIM!!!!

Or do we have to go and get him tomorrow? I'm rounding up a bunch of rotten Rhode Islanders and we are going to lasso, hogtie, and shanghai Bailey and suit him up.

DON'T TOUCH!!

Nomar's grandmother loves him.

I used to think baseball players were these awesome, cool guys who were livin' la vida loca and truly just excited to be playing baseball for a living.

Then I started to realize, hey, they're just regular guys! Like you! And me!

And then I realized that they were awful. A bunch of generic asshole jock meatheads. No wonder sportswriters hate them. Even the guys that are nice to your face... it's all an act. You think it's just superstars like, say, Brandon Inge or something that act like assholes? WRONG. Even low-minors guys like LARS ANDERSON are capable of schmuckdom.

Even worse are some of the guys in the minors who really are just roster filler... and they're just too hot shit for all of you bitches.

But lately I am trying to remember that there are a few normal guys around. And that they are someone's beloved son or husband or grandchild or brother. Who may internet search their precious baby and read vicious, unsubstantiated blogs and get upset.

I think the point I'm trying to make is... should I give out an 'Asshole of the Year' award to a PawSox player? I definitely have someone in mind!

K SWB!!!!!

8.27.08 - Pawtucket kicks a man when he's down.

14-4 Pawtucket. Lehigh Valley can't get up off the mat.

We're all going to the game tomorrow night. You should go. It's the last homestand before the playoffs.

I may never see Jeff Bailey again. I heard one of the radio guys do a Bailey impression and it was so funny. Uhhhhmmm... he won the league MVP. So he's above average today.

“I need to find out a little more about that I guess. Maybe I get a free gift certificate for that or something,” Bailey said of winning the MVP award.

Charlie Zink won the IL's Most Valuable Pitcher award. He gets a FREE gift certificate to Auto Zone!

In a related story, new awesome relief pitcher Marcus MacBeth is some kind of piano player/vocalist? That's what they tell me.

RED SOX CLINCH PLAYOFF SPOT

No, they did not win tonight, but Toledo lost and that was good enough.

The Yankees won. Pawtucket is now 3.5 games behind in the division, so it looks like hot wild card action.

The radio guys (Hoard, Hyder) tried to get some player reaction from the clubhouse in Rochester but it was far too zany. You could hear howls of ecstasy... I don't know, it sounded really wild. Dan Hoard took a moment to reflect on the players who'd contributed to the PawSox's success but were no longer on the team (or were in Boston). He mentioned Bailey and Pauley, the Mighty Gronkiewicz, Jed Lowrie and Brandon Moss. He even mentioned the disastrous Chad Spann.

He omitted Craig Hansen. I'm sure it was a mere oversight.

In a related story, Dan Hoard is kind of hot. Is that weird? Yeah. It's really weird.

Congratulations to the PawSox kidz and to manager Ron Johnson and to the entire organization.

JOE!!! TAKE US TO THE PLAYOFFS!!

Sandy Madera Meets the Beatles

Sandy Madera
Children at your feet
Wonder how you manage to make ends meet?

-------

Sandy Madera
Picks up the rice at the church where a wedding has been
Lives in a dream...

-------

That's all I have.

8.20.08 Pawtucket Red Sox v. Syracuse Chiefs - The Wood and the Moon.

Pawtucket WINS! 8-5. Such a great game.

David Pauley sucked the park in with his what? You should have seen his first four innings, because they were scoreless and perfect and people started holding their breffs. Syracuse was pretty considerate, being eager and aggressive and not taking a lot of pitches I guess.

The fifth inning ruined all our blue collar hopes and dreams (coughnohittercough), as Russ Adams led off the inning with a double. Good talk, Russ. Classic IL infielder Hector Luna followed that with a single and big studboy Travis Snider (not a girl, like the little kid in front of me thought he was) hit an RBI double. Robinzon Diaz flew out to right, Curtis Thigpen sac flied Luna home. So it was 2-1 Chiefs.

Okay, so wanna hear about the eventful bottom of the fifth? I know you do! Chris George is still pitching after taking over for Brian Wolfe in the fourth.

The first batter is Joe Thurston, who is a man of Unstoppable Power. Thurston had walked his two previous at-bats. Could he get on base again? YES. Thurston singled. Stole second base. Then fresh fish Jason Lane, batting third and playing right, flew out to center... Thurston tags, goes to third. Kottaras K's...but catcher du noir Dusty P. Brown gets on base via a walk.

Excessive righty first baseman Sandy Madera was the next batter and he singled, scoring Thurston from third. Then Keith Ginter walked to load the bases. Jeff Corsaletti, generally ineffective batter, hopped into the box. With two outs, I had a sinking feeling he'd blow it. Chris George threw a wild pitch which scored Brownie from third. Runners advance.

And then the most shocking thing happened... Corsaletti homered! Are you kidding? THAT guy? 6-2 Pawtucket! RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH '08!

Pauley cruised through the sixth inning, but in the seventh Russ Adams once again led off with a hit. Hector Luna completed the flip-flop with a double. Pauley got the dangerous Travis Snider out, but gave up a two-run double to catcher Brian Jeroloman. Have a good night, Dave. Daisy-fresh Kyle Snyder pranced over to the mound and struck out Thigpen and Lopez to end the inning. 8-4 Pawtucket.

Kyle S. kept on pitching, tackling the eighth inning and getting two outs in the ninth. Snyder gave up an RBI single to Jeroloman. Hunter Jones lumbered in to punch out Wayne Lydon for the last out.

These guys pitched for Syracuse: Brian Wolfe, Chris George, Sean Stidfole, Mike Gosling, Jeremy Accardo, and Jonah Bayliss. I'm not going to break it down further than that.

Cold-germy high fives to Brownie and Sandy, who both got on base four times. SANDY!!!!

Josh Wilson went 0-5 with two K's.

notes from the sawhorses:
1. Jeff Corsaletti big-timed the kids looking for autographs. Does not surprise me.
2. Chris Carter is noticeably limping. So he is coming back soon? In that condition? Playing baseball sure is hard!
3. Bartolo Colon, who went on the DL after he crashed his car, said he hit a deer. Is that right, sir? It is not unheard of around here for deer to dash across the highway, but... it is also not unheard of for baseball players to tank up at a strip club and plow into a guardrail. So okay, Colon hit a deer. Probably.
4. Gil Velazquez DNP. Velazquez is probably my Favourite.
5. Danny Sandoval and Curtis Thigpen were ejected in the sixth inning after having a problem with a call. Thurston was caught hovering between first and second and the Chiefs screwed it all up... Joe returned to first safely... or did he?
6. Yankees lost! Red Sox 1.5 games behind! It's like Daphne's Madhouse!
7. I realize that no one has said 'Respect my authoritah' since about 1999, but as always, I am profoundly tardy.

I'll be back at the park tonight, doing what I do. Five home games left. I'm cool, I swear.

8.19.08 Hot-tucket v. Syracuties!

Pawtucket loses uncomfortably, 4-2.

Pawtucket starter Charlie Zink pitched well. Seven innings! Two runs! Seven strikeouts! Reliever Chris T. Smith and Marcus MacBeth each gave up a run, which ruined Christmas.

Pawtucket offense was near zilch. A few scattered singles, a Corsaletti double, and a home run that was fucking CRANKED OUT by Kottaras. OH YOU KID.

Syracuse hit two solo home runs off Zink, one by Hector Luna and one by Danny Sandoval.

At least the Yankees lost.

doug davis:
1. I got to the park in the fifth inning... just kind of floated in without a ticket and hung out over by the bullpen. It's pretty easy to get into the visitors' bullpen. Less so for the home pen, but I did see a way in. I'll have to sneak in during the off-season.
2. It was Van Every's first game back and he left after one inning.
3. Wait, Jason Lane? When did this happen? Okay... welcome to the Ocean State, Jason! Enjoy your two-week vacation! Have a Del's and chill out, why dontcha?
4. GIL VELAZQUEZ FIRST BASE! WHAT!!!!
5. Did you know that Travis Snider started the year in single-A? And that he is only twenty years old?

Please let's get Chris Carter back and Lowrie and Bailey. Josh Wilson is no kind of leadoff batter. SOS!!!

anyone touches my stuff...

I'm not racist or anything, but I hope that Boston does not make it to the playoffs. That way, they'll be less likely to draw from the Pawtucket kiddie pool.

Also, hey, Boston? Are you almost finished with Jeff Bailey and Jed Lowrie? We kind of need them back.

8.16.08 Pawtucket @ Buffalo - Thanks for showing up!

Pawtucket loses 1-0. Against Halama. Mike Bowden's heavenly start was spoilt by the selfish non-hitting of everybody except Natale and Thurston. Stupid. The Yankees won, too.

Kyle Snyder is back... yeah, because everyone was clamoring for him. Two innings, two hits, two punchies.

Tony Granadillo was called up, which I said was going to happen back in April. Sort of.

Josh Wilson may put me in a coma, but I like him a little because his at-bat song is Van Halen. Pre-Hagar. And it is not "Runnin' with the Devil". You will not guess which song it is.

Hmm, what else? Oh. Remember how I went to Buffalo? And Mike Lowell was there? That was awesome. Please enjoy a random Lowell shot, before I found out he wasn't cool:

Zechry Zinacola or something.

Trivia question the other night: Who was the last Red Sox player whose last name started with 'Z'?

I had a guess that I was pretty sure was right: Julio Zuleta. But no. They said it was former PawSox great Bob Zupcic. WRONG! WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG!!! Who can I call about this?

Sure, Zuleta only played in spring training. But that counts, si? Screw those guys.

In a related story, when I saw Zink the day after his Boston start, he was in surprisingly good spirits. He said he had a great time in Boston. He also asked me if I was giving his hat back to him.

No. I am not giving your hat back to you. It's a gift. Damn Rastafarians!

8.15.08 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Syracuse (Sky?) Chiefs - 'homeboy, I came to party. buck coats was lookin' at me.'

5-4 Pawtucket!

Bartolo Colon. One man. One arm. One dream. One inning. Two hits, no runs. Seventeen pitches and nine strikes. Okay, thank you, Bartolo.

Jose Vaquedano pitched the meat of the game. Four innings. Five hits and one run. Vaquedano is from Honduras, did I mention? Honduras is a lot like Belgium. Ask me why.

Then it was Eric Hull (who?) and Hunter Jones. Jonesy got into trouble in the eighth when he got tagged in by Hull. He gave up an RBI double to Kevin Melillo and then a two-run double to Curtis Thigpen. I want Thigpen in the Boston system. Have you seen this guy and his meteoric rise? Yeah, thanks, Thigpen. 5-4 Pawtucket.

Jones went on to pitch a scoreless ninth, giving up a mere single to Buck Coats.

Lefty Ricky Romero started for Syracuse. Mmmm... he smells like cocoa butter. Romero was responsible for all five Pawtucket runs. Dusty Brown batted in Natale in the first inning. Natale then turned around and hit a three-run homer in the second inning. That's four runs. The fifth occurred when Joe Thurston hit a solo home run in the fifth inning.

Joe Thurston was also picked off and he was caught stealing. But it's okay because he's cool.

I'm half Spanish:
1. Crazy Lineup: Jeff Natale played first and batted leadoff. Gil Velazquez manned left field.
2. Brian Jeroloman was on the PawSox once. For about ten minutes.
3. Travis Snider, Eastern League home run derby winner, was called up to Syracuse. He's totally tuff and started banging right away, August 8.
4. The Gary Dunes Band performed before the game. Gary Dunes appears to be a DJ on oldies radio. I don't know if the performance made the ballpark any less depressing. Oh, SNAP!
5. Pawtucket lost the previous day's game to Syracuse. Pauley had a rough start. I didn't feel much like reliving it.

Pawtucket's off to Buffalo, throwing it down v. John Halama. No Bailey, no Carter, no Van Every. Mike Bowden gets the start.

Now wait a minute. I feel alright.

Damn it, I'm not on top of things!

David Pauley was called up, not used, sent back down. Jeff Bailey's been called up again to sit on the bench and eat bon bons.

Kyle Snyder off the DL? Sure. And Mike Tejera's on the DL.

RHP Marcus McBeth claimed off CIN waivers. Welcome to Pawtucket, McBeth.

Buchholz back at McCoy, weary and defeated.

8.13.08 RED SOX CRUSH YANKEES 5-1

Pawtucket is now only 1.5 games back.

Edgar Martinez had the best start I've seen from him. Six scoreless innings with a couple of strikeouts. Two of his four walks were doled out to Juan Miranda, who is a truly frightening batter. Martinez is so much more effective when he goes after the batters, cause I don't think he has quite the stuff to be cute and finessey.

Beau Vaughan pitched a scoreless seventh but kicked off the eighth by allowing two consecutive singles. Hunter Jones walked out from the bullpen and roughly shoved Vaughan off the mound into the dirt. Jones walked the devilish Juan Miranda to load the bases with no outs. But! Jones got Shelley Duncan to pop up to catcher Dusty Brown, allowed a sac fly out to Broussard, and punched out Cody Ransom. Ta-daaah! 4-1 Pawtucket.

Eric Hull closed the game out, uno-dos-tres. Told you he was good.

Josh Wilson had a great night against Mexican dandy Alfredo Aceves, doubling twice and getting a runner home. Sandy Madera also went 2-4, including a massive solo home run off Yankees reliever Scott Patterson. Oh, wait... Corsaletti also doubled twice.

Sean Danielson had yet another show-stopping outfield assist, gunning down catcher Chad Moeller at third base for the third out in the fifth inning. BLAMMO. Or maybe it was just stupid for Moeller to try to get from first to third on a single? Whatever, it was still awesome.

dandy, you're alright!:
1. The only thing that sucks about Poster Night is how miserable most of the players are. Half of them don't even look up or anything. Not that I blame them. People are dreadful. And Devern Hansack looked like complete shit, like he had cholera or something. I thought he was going to die.
2. Sandy Madera played first base and batted fifth.
3. Starting pitcher Alfredo Aceves has a curious toe-tapping pre-pitch routine.
4. Kei Igawa was in the house. Word on the street is that he's a real jerkhead.
5. Lincoln Holdzkom was designated for assignment.

Gotta run... great game, everyone.

GUAPO!!!!

You do not. Run. On. Danielson.

Gee, I was wondering why I didn't see a) Pauley and b) Holdzkom.

Pauley was called up and Holdzkom is dunzo. Hooray on both counts.

It was such a good game tonight. I'm going to press rewind and deposit myself back in the stands. Felicidades a Edgar Martinez. Seriously: Nice work, Guapo.

VELAZQUEZ!!!!

Poster Night: Prioritahs

Round one:
1. Thurston
2. Velazquez
3. Bailey
4. Hansack

Round two:
1. Pauley
2. misc.
3. Danielson
4. RJ

Pass:
1. Holdzkom
2. Bowden (line too long)
3. Smith

Derek Lowe

I'm having flashbacks.

8.12.08 Red Sox v. Yankees - BATTLE FOR THE DIVISION TITLE!!!

Yankees WIN! 8-6

Two crazy games in one night. One quick thing: Crisp gets the call for two outs, Zink gets out of the inning. Should have happened, right? I think that of all the scenarios that must have gone through Zink's head as he lay wide awake in bed the night before, that was probably not among them.

I'll bet he's in a wicked bad mood today. I should avoid him.

Okay, Devern Hansack. My man. Hansack only went into the sixth inning before being replaced by Switzer. What? Four hits and two runs is so shabby? I hope it's not an injury thing.

Switzer held it down, Eric Hull got out of a bases loaded jam. That wasn't the problem. They both kept the game tied. The weird thing was Chris Smith coming in and giving up a three run homer to Yankees catcher Chad Moeller. Argh.

But! Pawtucket tied it up in the bottom of the tenth! Corsaletti, Velazquez, Danielson, Thurston, and Bailey all got hits. Thurston and Velazquez got the fattest hits... doubles. Had I been there, I might have applauded and wept.

Jose Vaquedano came into the eleventh to try and keep the cake together. It didn't happen. The Yankees scored a pair of runs and this time, Pawtucket couldn't answer back. That is terrible. Tough loss.

This whole pennant race thing is resurrecting old miseries. 2003, 2004. I had forgotten what it does to your guts. Oh my god. Here we go.

Tonight's Poster Night at McCoy. El Guapo gets the start. I want a win. It might as well be September.

I don't know if I can do this again.

Chris Smith just gave up a three-run homer to the Yankees in the top of the tenth, breaking up the tie.

I turned off the radio.

I am unprepared for this Red Sox/Yankees playoff race. I thought that stuff was over. I don't need this kind of agony right now.

I'll be at the park tomorrow.

are you happy? are you proud? then sing real loud!

Tomorrow night is gonna be so awesome. TADAO!!!!

8.11.08 Pawtucket Day Game v. Knights

Charlotte wins again, 5-4.

Mike Bowden got the start for Pawtucket. Bowden gave up two runs on six hits in his six inning stint. He walked the first batter of the game, Jason Bourgeois, and gave up a home run to third baseman Javier Colina. Six Charlotte batters struck out against Bowden.

Beau Vaughan went an inning and two thirds and exited the infield a little black and blue. Vaughan allowed three runs to score and took the loss. Hunter Jones finished off the game and allowed no further runs, but Pawtucket could not add to their four runs.

Jack Egbert got the win for the Knights. He also pitched six innings and gave up a pair of runs. MacDougal gave up a run in the seventh and another in the eighth, when he walked a couple of Jeffs and then let a couple of wild pitches fly while Danielson was at the plate.

Jason Childers shut the door on the Red Sox in the ninth and got the save. Tragic. No one on the home time could muster more than a single today.

ho-hum:
1. Pawtucket also lost yesterday, 3-1.
2. What is this crap with "Buchholz can't get the job done, good thing we've got Colon!" I mean, how much ScotchGuard are you huffing to think Bartolo is gonna be a key guy in the Boston rotation?
3. Chris Carter is on the DL, Sandy Madera is off the DL. Van Every is ailing but I don't think he's officially on the DL. Eric Hull has the sniffles and is day-to-day. Jeff Natale may have rickets. Dusty Brown is experiencing the onset of ennui and erectile disfunction.


see you tomorrow.

8.9.08 Pawtucket Red Sox v Charlotte Knights - for Jared

5-2 Pawtucket!

Everybody saw this game. I had a good time. Pawtucket lost today and they're one game behind the Yankees.

See you tomorrow.

Okay! Turns out I have an extra ticket for tomorrow's game. It's above the visitor's dugout. $20. If you want it and live in the Blackstone Valley/Pawtucket/Attleboro area and you can e-mail me between now and 9 a.m. at baseballheavy@gmail.com, you may have it. IT. As in just one ticket.

Otherwise, stay the hell away from me and my family. I mean it! I'm calling the police!

8.8.08 Pawtucket Red Sox v. Charlotte Knights - Maximum Rockabilly

6-5 Pawtucket! Having fun...

Cool lefty Clayton Richard started for Charlotte and looked halfway decent for six innings. He gave up two runs in the third inning when Kottaras hit a two-run homer. GK had a terrific night and his favorite food is steak.

Charlie the Zink pitched his usual seven innings. Zink gave up three earned runs on six hits. And like a monster fucking home run to Brad Eldred, who is the World's Largest Infielder. Seriously, he's like Gorilla Monsoon over here.

Zink was in a good place after the seventh, since Pawtucket scored three runs to pull ahead 5-3. But Eric Hull saw to it that Zink would not get the win. Charlotte catcher Cole Armstrong spoiled the party with a two-run (cheap) homer off Hull in the eighth. Wow, it's really true! No one good is named 'Cole'!

Old pal Mike MacDougal pitched for Charlotte in the bottom of the eighth, but Pawtucket could do nothing. Well, Danielson singled with two outs and Bailey, the next batter, kinda sorta looked like he was maybe hit by a pitch, but the ump was not having it. Bailey got back in the box and struck out. Another battle was won and lost. Game still tied at 5-5.

Ninth inning! Fresh, bloody meat Beau Vaughn climbs the hill and hucks balls in Rhode Island for the first time. Velazquez makes a rare error that puts IL repeat offender Jason Tyner on first. Cortez the Knitter sac bunts Tyner to second. Vaughn intentionally walks Jerry Owens, who has no mercy for Pawtucket.

Jason Bourgeois, second baseman, then grounds into a 1-4-3 double play. Another dumb casualty.

Bottom of the ninth. New pitcher for Charlotte, Jason Childers. (This is really exciting.) First batter is Joe Thurston and he CRANKS one way out to right... it looked like it was gone but it hit glove or wall and Thurston galloped his way to third base! And then Keith Ginter was up but Childers intentionally walked him. I wonder how many times Ginter's gotten the IBB? How flattering!

And then the weirdest thing happened... Childers ALSO intentionally walked the next batter, George Kottaras. Thus far, Kottaras had gone 4-4 with two singles, a double, and a home run. So, yeah, the Knights loaded the bases with no outs. In the bottom of the ninth in a tie game. Ballsy or just stupid?

Josh Wilson, who'd been having a bad night, was the next batter. Wilson grounded into a force out... Thurston was out at home plate. Corsaletti up. Damn it. But Childers threw a wild pitch! Are you kidding? Keith Ginter dashed home from third and Pawtucket won!

a thousand scarves in flight:
1. Kottaras - 4 RBI. It's a good thing I'm fickle. KOTTARAS!
2. Brad Eldred hit a pop-up in foul territory in the eighth inning. It was on the first base side and Bailey ran out and got under it... but Josh Wilson got underfoot and the ball was not caught. Hey, WILSON! Cool it!
3. The Pawtucket Red Sox presented their annual Spirit Award tonight. The winner? David Pauley. I am not sure what exactly the Spirit Award is, but I think it has to do with community involvement. And spirit. Congratulations, Pauley! (Best Friend in Baseball: Charlie Zink.)
4. No Van Every, no Carter.
5. They changed the specialty beer stands a little bit.

I'll be at the game tomorrow in Boston. I must rest and get well. Bye!

Well, Brian... I'm opening a boutique!

Maybe I'll see Brian Giles in Pawtucket tonight!

Do you remember when I went to San Diego? The best decision I made was switching hotels, from a pricey downtown-type place to a rundown motel in Barrio Logan. It was so peaceful and pretty and sleepy and homey. And it may have been my one and only trip to California.

I would love to talk about my trip to San Diego at great length, but who wants to listen to that? I might as well set up a slideshow night at my dwelling and inflict pain upon my friends and co-workers.

The point of the story is that I won a major award which led me to see Brian Giles, chunky outfielder, in September San Diego. I could be interesting and you would never even know it.

The Connecticut Defenders called my house.

Beau Vaughn has been called up to Pawtucket after living in Maine for five or six years. About time?

Last night I dreamed about Chris Smith. I was at a ballpark and he was showing me his collection of minor league jerseys. He told me I could choose one for myself, but I opted not to. Sometimes people give things away recklessly and later regret it. I've done it myself. I had a feeling Smith would be better of retaining his complete collection.

I once gave away a cardboard-box record to a false reverend. It was a series of advertising jingles for a Roll-a-Matic razor. I played it on my record player a few times... crackly and staticky but fascinating.

On my answering machine this morning, I played a message from two gents talking to each other about upcoming events at Dodd Stadium. "Hey, Brian, what's coming up this weekend?" "It's Thirsty Thursday with a free Pint Glass Giveaway!"

I'm sorry I missed all that.

Thanks to everyone for a great birthday. I love all of you.

8.7.08 Red Sox @ Yankees - You gonna cry, baby? Huh? Baby!

Yankees win again, 6-1. Pawtucket is a game and a half out of first place now. Thanks a lot, you guys!

Devern Hansack gave up seven hits in seven innings. Five out of the six runs belonged to him. Is that an insurmountable lead for the Pawtucket Red Sox? Not really. I'm not saying that Hansack was strong like bull, but the whole series was a string of flaccid bats.

Except for the 8/6 matchup. I just hate to criticize Hansack, I think.

Righty Phil Hughes pitched for the Yankees. Phil Hughes! And the relievers were the usual lot. I swear Phil Coke pitches every single game, yet remains effective and efficient. He's like a self-defrosting freezer.

Pawtucket had better win tonight. Charlie Zink's going up against Charlie Haeger. Ooooh, I wouldn't mind being UP AGAINST Charlie Haeger! Rrrowr!!

Sorry. I am near delirious with sickdom. In August, of all things. I have no idea how I'm going to get to the laundromat.

8.3.08 Yankees defeat Red Sox

5-2 S/WB. DAMN IT.

Zink only went five innings. Opposing pitcher Ian Kennedy went seven deep and gave up the PawSox runs.

David Aardsma contributed a scoreless sixth inning. So all you Aardsma fans really missed out if you didn't head to McCoy. There must have been a sea of Aardsma jerseys and t-shirts. I'm sure it was SRO!

Lincoln Holdzkom gave up two runs in the ninth, only one earned. He walked a guy as well. And hit Chris Basak with a pitch. 22 pitches to get out of the inning. What goes through the fielders' minds when he's up there? "Oh, Christ, here we go."

New kid Josh Wilson played short, batted seventh, and got an RBI. Gil Velazquez hit a home run. Joe Thurston had two hits, but he was also picked off, caught stealing, and he made an error.

I did an image search on Josh Wilson and came across a site called RainbowPuke.com. It seems to be a collection of pictures of a) rainbows puking and b) people puking rainbows. It's awfully good.

David Pauley, you'd better get these turkeys tomorrow.

Junior Spivey, part 2.

Red Sox have signed infielder Josh Wilson, who'll be down in Pawtucket for now. I do not yet know what his favorite donut is. Card set night isn't til Friday, and I doubt he'll be included.

Keep checking back for more!

PS Zink's favorite donut is glazed.

8.2.08 Pawtucket Red Sox v. Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Yankees - You like that, huh?!

Pawtucket gives it to S/W-B, 7-3.

Devern Hansack pitched seven innings and was responsible for the three Yankees runs. Good outing, though. Hansack struck out seven and walked three and got a balk call. Righty Eric Hull pitched the eighth inning, giving up a single. Hull went on to get a pair of outs in the ninth before giving way to Hunter Jones.

Now here's what's weird: In the box score, it says Hunter Jones threw one pitch which was a strike. And he got an out. The log says Gregory Porter lined out to Velazquez. So if he threw only one pitch, was it a strike or was it a lineout? Am I missing something? Does a pitch count as a strike if the batter hits it for an out? I'm so stupid, help me out.

Scranton/Wilkes-Barre put a game together out of the bullpen. Traber started but only went two innings deep. You can check out the pitching somewhere else... I'm on a tight schedule right now.

And so it was that Pawtucket was held scoreless for five innings. Fans everywhere became anxious and agitated. But in the sixth inning, Keith Ginter flew out deep enough to score Carter from third. So it was 3-1.

The good stuff all happened in the bottom of the eighth. Lefty Phil Coke was pitching. Chris Carter led the inning off with a single to center. Kottaras struck out swinging. The semi-hitterish Keith Ginter then singled to right, putting Carter in scoring position.

The next batter was The Third Jeff, that being Corsaletti. Corsaletti helpfully singled in Chris Carter and it was 3-2! Phil Coke's out of the game!

Yankee reliever Scott Strickland got called in to face righty Gil Velazquez. And then the greatest thing happened: Velazquez tripled! I wish I could have seen it. Both Ginter and Corsaletti scored, giving the Red Sox the 4-3 lead.

The next slim killer was Van Every, who walked. He must have been concerned about his BB/K ratio after I broadcast it to the world. Strickland then walked the next batter, Second Jeff (Natale). Bases are loaded with one out. Thurston strikes out and Strickland's heart rate drops a bit.
Jeff Bailey came up next. No sweat, right? Easy out! Well, no, bases clearing double instead. 7-3 Pawtucket. YES. Eat it, Yankees!

So all Pawtucket had to do was close out the ninth. Danielson took over in right field because he is a master out there. And that was it for the Yankees.

VELAZQUEZ!!! HANSACK!!!

Today at one Charlie Zink will face righty Ian Kennedy. Oh my god. I can't believe I have to miss this.

8.1.08 Red (Pawtucket Sox+Rochester Wings) - Liriano-no.

Pawtucket wins again! 8-7. But they almost blew it.

Francisco Liriano was supposed to start, but he got called up. So I don't feel so bad for missing this game. Instead, five relievers got together and pitched here and there innings. Big Tom Shearn started things off by pitching five innings. He didn't do too bad! Five strikeouts, one run.

So, Cast in Order of Appearance: Shearn, Ricky Barrett (one scoreless inning), Julio DePaula (four runs, back-to-back homers in the eighth), Tim Lahey (two runs, couldn't get an out), and Casey Daigle (ruined Christmas for Rochester fans).

Pawtucket was down seven to one in going into the bottom of the eighth inning. Carter and Kottaras hit back-to-back home runs with one out. Dusty Brown reached on an error. Corsaletti subs in for Danielson, which doesn't make a wicked lot of sense because Corsaletti's been struggling. Doesn't matter. JC singled. Next batter, Gil Velazquez, DONG! Three run homer. YES.

Bases empty, Van Every walks. JV has 46 walks and 139 strikeouts! Holy fucking shit! That's a .33! Ahem. Bailey reaches on an error. Thurston out, Ginter singles home the tying run. Thanks, Keith G.

Hunter Jones held on tight in the top of the ninth, knocking down Santos, Jorgensen, and Pridie in order. And with two outs in the bottom of the ninth, Jeff Corsaletti hit a walk-off home run. JEFF CORSALETTI FIRE OIL!!

Martinez got the start, H. Jones got the win.

we shared the hours without number:
1. Machado, Howie Clark, and Matt Macri all homered.
2. Thurston back in the lineup!
3. Chris Smith was called up to Boston again. I have to put a stop to this.
4. Randy Ruiz has also been called up. RANDY SMASH CHICAGO!!!! Livan Hernandez and Craig Monroe were DFA'd. Not Monroe!
5. Aaron Bates is coming. I'm telling you.
6. Brandon Moss lived in the same apartment complex as Buddy Cianci. Swanky!
7. I was not aware that Casey Daigle's wife was softball superstar Jennie Finch. I saw her last night but I didn't know who she was. She was waiting outside with a stroller baby and Rick Medeiros was securing the area. She is really the prettiest and most blondest.

The Yankees are coming tomorrow. They won again tonight. I say, BRING IT!!!

Good night!