How could you treat him so thoughtlessly? How could you do this to me?

Belated notes on various swooping changes in Pawtucket, Rhode Island.

Brandon Moss was called up to Boston. Sandy Madera called up to Pawtucket from AA Portland. Bryan Corey may or may not occupy physical space at this point, but he's likely to return to McCoy.

Dan Kolb was released, much to my surprise. I feel like I just saw him walking in the sunshine, not a care in the world.

Many bad things happen in baseball that you never really know about. It may present itself as America's Pastime, but it's no different from where you work. The same evil, petty, self-serving crap and deceit YOU put up with is not absent from organized B. I'm not talking about Danny Kolb, either. Or Clemens.

I'm feeling much better and I will be back... later on!

4.29.08 PawSox @ Red Wings - my baby's got a secret

Rochester wins 9-3. Hey, what happened?

Mike Tejera gave up two runs, Eric Hull gave up three, Hansen gave up three, and Holdzkom gave up one (he only pitched 1/3 of an inning, though). So we can potentially blame the relief corps.

Darnell McDonald hit a triple off Holdkom, who's been terrible. I saw him walk three batters in one inning in Buffalo. He has 13 walks in ten innings, to give you an update.

I'm not feeling very well, so I'm going to leave it at that. Enjoy the photo of McDonald in 5th position.

tonight's starting lineup is presented by

Please note that while Chad Spann playing first base is defensively appropriate, his .182 batting average makes it an offensive mismatch. So Moss is gone, so what? You can't put Carter or Bailey over there? And then make Spann go away?

Chad Spann led the PawSox in errors last year, with 16 in 74 games. So far, zero errors for Spann. So I guess he's got that going for him.

I thought there would be more people at the park to see last year's WSMVP, but no. There was a minor autograph frenzy, though. I promised Flanders I'd get his WS baseball signed, and I did on Sunday. Lowell did not big time the Buffalonians, which was nice. You know Pedroia would not have been so magnanimous.

Jeff Bailey and Mike Lowell face the music.

4.26.08 PawSox @ Bisons - Jonathan Van Every was right.

The Bisons won both weekend games versus Pawtucket. This one was a 4-1 Buffalo victory.

Devern Hansack was not pitching well and he got yanked in the third inning.

Lincoln Holdzkom continues to struggle with NOT WALKING HALF THE OPPOSING TEAM. I predicted a great season for Holdzkom. Based on nothing. Can we give him back to the Phillies? He'd fit right in on the Iron Pigs.

The wind was insane that night in Buffalo. I managed to stay the whole game, but it really hurt.

The PawSox were staying at my hotel. I kept seeing them here and there, lobby, elevator, getting cabs, walking to the park. Never Mike Lowell, though. Damn it.

JV signs for the kids.

4.28.08 Pawtucket R. Sox @ Rochester R. Wings - hace frio como hielo

Pawtucket WINS! 8-6

Word on the street is that this game was unbearably cold. I listened to some of it on the radio and I could hear people in the stands talking...clearly. So it must have been pretty empty.

Tenacious David Pauley pitched five innings, only giving up one run. He walked one and struck out three. The ensuing five runs were given up by Edgar Martinez, who is really no kind of reliever. Martinez pitched 1 2/3 innings. Jon Switzer and Lee Gronkiewicz finished the game off without further incident. Gronkiewicz has really been a bitchin' reliever for Pawtucket. Hats off to Mr. Lee.

Kevin Mulvey pitched 4 2/3 for Rochester. Pawtucket knocked in seven runs while he was on the mound. It was great. Blammo! Hey Kevin... POW!!! Casey Daigle came tumbling after, giving up the eighth run. The Amazin' Carmen Cali pitched the eighth and ninth innings. I'm a big Carmen Cali fan. Really? Yes.

Sandy Madera (children at your feet... wonder how you manage to make ends meet?) is like Clubber Lang out there. Madera hit a three-run homer off the ineffective Kevin Mulvey. Educated meathead Chris Carter tripled off Carmen Cali (hey!) but it was really almost like an error. Darnell McDonald could have maybe had that. I think.

Gil "Ocean Breeze Soap Will Get You Clean" Velazquez and Jonathan Van Every both doubled. JVE also struck out three times. Oops! Keith Ginter went 0-5 but it's okay because he's a really good fielder. Not like Chad Spann.

For Rochester, Darnell "Braveheart" McDonald hit a grand slam. He's my favorite. DM also doubled, as did Alexi Casilla who pinch hit for Matt Macri in the first inning (?)(!). What the hell?

Denard Span was caught stealing and picked off like an old scab.

let's get back to the countdown:
1. Please note that Jeff Bailey batted leadoff again. He had a couple of hits, a walk, and an RBI. I don't know what else to say about this except that it's like making Ramiro Mendoza a starter. Struggling in one role, kind of succeeding in another unlikely role. I am probably the only earthling who cares about this.
2. Sandy Madera! Damn! I'll tell you what I know about Madera... he uses a lightweight bat. As in Julio Lugo's bat. I know this because he gave it to us in Buffalo after the game. You think I am kidding? I'll take a picture of it, asshole!
3. Wait, Madera is 27? Where have I been?
4. Matt Macri hurt himself in the first, which explains the pinch hitter. I'm reporting this news as I find out, not as it happens. It's called Gonzo Journalism, my friend. You can't catch me, I'm the wind!
5. Former Twins' GM Terry Ryan was in the house for this game, probably wrapped in a blanket with a nice cup of cocoa. Does he even have a job?
6. Bailey's 4th inning hit almost pegged baserunner Van Every... he had to leap out of the way.

Tonight: Michael Tejera v. Brian Duensing. Lefty lefty! That's always a draw. I'll be back later on with pictures etc. from my weekend in Buffalo with Mike Lowell. Hasta.

blow me down!

Mike Lowell will be in Buffalo with the PawSox while I am there this weekend. I cannot tell you how excited I am about this. I wonder if I'll run into him.

See you next week.

4.23.08 Pawtucket Red Sox v. Syracuse Chiefs

Pawtucket WINS! 3-1

So weird to see the PawSox winning. Yr. starting pitcher was Michael Tejera. Mikey T pitched six solid innings, striking out four and walking one. He gave up a solo home run to Syracuse's Eric Nielsen.

Eric Hull shared an inning of relief with Bryan Corey. Welcome back, BC. Jon Switzer pitched a scoreless 8th and Lee G. pitched a scoreless ninth. That's how we roll without Craig Hansen.

David Purcey started for Syracuse. Purcey struck out nine batters in six innings! I know! Yeah, he also walked four guys and threw 104 pitches in those six innings. Pawtucket scored three runs on his watch.

Cool, weirdo reliever Jo Matumoto came in for 2/3 of an inning, then came Jordan De Jong. The pair did not allow further Pawtucket runs, but alas.

George Kottaras homered yet again. Dios mio, what's going on with him? Gil Velazquez and Brandon Moss both doubled. Van Every went 0-3 with two strikeouts, but you can't expect too much from the bottom of the order.

It was Eric Nielsen's first ever AAA game and he had a great game in spite of the loss. A home run and a single. Good luck trying use a search engine for the guy. There're a lot of newsworthy Eric or Erik Nielsen's out there.

Look at me... I'm an elephant rider!
1. Jeff Bailey was the leadoff batter once again. Tonight, he successfully stole a base. RJ is deliberately messing with us.
2. I know batting average is something of a crap statistic, but Chad Spann is batting .139. He's also struck out 16 times in 13 games... but only walked twice. OBP? .205 What a mess.
3. Sergio Santos! I guess he decided against converting himself to a pitcher.
4. Pauley's back in Pawtucket, probably miserable. Sometimes you pitch and you don't have a great game and it sucks. And then sometimes you don't pitch well and it could flush your career right down the toilet. Is Boston likely to call him back up? I don't know. I feel bad.

Tomorrow's starting pitcher is Charlie Zink. Lefty Bill Murphy will start for the Chiefs. Wait, who?

Finally, check out this picture from tonight's game... dig the message on the scoreboard. Whoa!

(from pawsox.com)

bryan corey one calm summer night

Bryan Corey went seeking his fortune in other places but yes, he's back. Poor guy.

BC reportedly stated, "It's great to be back in this depressing city." Joe Thurston wisely decided to withhold comment.

In a related story, Lancaster Jet Hawks infielder Aaron Reza was promoted to AAA Pawtucket. Ha, ha, HA. Last guy to get that promotion was soap opera star and RHP Blake Maxwell.

Michael Tejera will be tonight's starting pitcher. Pawtucket kicks off its first series v. Syracuse TONIGHT and I can't make it. The Chiefs counter with Eastern League All-Star David Purcey.

Bonus minor league baseball headline: "Green Jackets Stuck in Park Against Drive". That is totally something I would have written. I'm not above it!

Jeff Natale HBP

Natale's got a broken arm. D'oh! Here comes Tony Granadillo, I think. Gotta be him.

High Honors

Congratulations to several people: Devern Hansack, Jeff Bailey, Brandon Moss, and Kyle Snyder, who received their World Series rings the other day.

Charlie Zink is the IL pitcher of the week! Zink's ERA is 3.12 with 16 strikeouts over 17-ish innings. He posted a .90 ERA over his last two starts. Zink(y?) has been in the Boston organization for 8 years.

Jeff Bailey batted leadoff for the first time in his pro career yesterday and hit a three-run homer. He celebrated with noted Bob Marley fan Zink in a post-game religious experience.

Please enjoy this kickass picture of Jeff Bailey and a local freelance sports journalist/burrito enthusiast:

4.21.08 PawSox v. Buffalo (day game)

Pawtucket WINS! 6-5 in ten innings.

I should just skip to the good part, but I will reluctantly talk about Kyle Snyder and Jeremy Sowers & co. Snyder pitched four innings and wasn't great. Two home runs, four runs, a walk. Four K's. 59 pitches. Thank you, Deborah.

Other pitchers for Pawtucket: Dan Kolb (2 scoreless), Craig Hansen (one and 1/3 scoreless with 2 Ks), Abe Alvarez (2/3 inning, more scoreless goodness), Lee Gronkiewicz (one inning, one run, one blown save), and Linc Holdzkom (10th, walked a couple of batters but held it down).

Jeremy Sowers pitched 4 2/3. He only gave up one run and struck out six batters but his pitch count was up to 92. He came out of the fifth for Elarton (Scott), who faced Kottaras and struck him out. Also pitching: Edward Mujica, Rich Rundles, Rick Bauer, and Reid Santos. Each team used six pitchers, which will make your scorecard look like crap.

Keith Ginter seems to be emerging from his slump a little bit, going 3-4 with a home run. Catcher George Kottaras went 0-5 with a strikeout. JVE doubled. So did Gil Velazquez, who won this freaking thing for Pawtucket. It was the tenth inning. Jeff Bailey singled. Dusty Brown singled. GV steps up and bats in Jeff Bailey from second. So it was either a solid single to right or JB ran like yo mama. Okay, Velazquez gets the credit, even though he singled to LEFT, not right.

Third baseman Aaron Herr homered twice for Buffalo and batted in four runs. Josh Barfield also hit his third home run in three days.

we think we know what the problem is:
1. Pawtucket is now 11-8, in third place in the IL north, and two games behind the Yankees. How is it possible that even the AAA team of the Yankees annoys me with their success?
2. Josh Barfield was born in Venezuela. His mother was there visiting his father (Jesse) during winter ball.
3. Van Every's doing pretty awesome, but he is still only batting ninth. He's leading the team in BA (.333) and slugging and OPS (.976). I'm no baseball genius, but... really. In a related story, perhaps Brandon Moss, (who can't stop striking out) should be dropped lower in the order.
4. I can't wait to do team leaders for April! I also can't wait to recklessly insult the players who are underperforming!

See you tomorrow.

4.20.08 Pawtucket Red Sox v. Buffalo Bisons - dude.

Pawtucket WINS! 5-1

I'm sure you've heard by now that David Pauley was supposed to start this game, but was held back JUST in case Boston needs him (Clay Buchholz has the sniffles). Edgar Martinez went ahead and started, pitching 4 1/3 scoreless innings. He walked three Bison. 'Bison' is, I believe, the proper plural form of 'bison'.

Jon Switzer, the lefty there, pitched 2 1/3. He gave up the sole Buffalo run and struck out four batters. Eric Hull and Gronkiewicz finished off the game.

The tall and slender righty Sean Smith started for Buffalo. Smith gave up three runs to Pawtucket while striking out five and walking two. He also hit Chad Spann with a pitch, which I really would have liked to have seen. I love you, Sean Smith! Reliever Edward Buzachero gave up the other two runs.

Jeff Bailey did some good stuff at the plate, clobbering a three-run homer. Too bad he got caught stealing the other time he got on base. And both Brandon Moss and Gil Velazquez tripled.

otherwise:
1. I really hate missing all these games, but I have so much work to do. At work. I have no time. Stupid April. I've yet to see Eric Hull or Gil Velazquez in action.
2. Jeff Bailey stole nine bases last year. He was caught six times. So think about that. Okay, time's up!
3. Is it just me or was Buzachero named 'Bubby' last year? So now it's 'Edward'? Or is this a different Buzachero?
4. Outfielder Bryan Pritz is off the DL and pinch ran for Chris Carter in the 8th. Bobby Kielty is on the DL with some hand thing. Bryan Pritz has up to this point been criminally uninteresting, so let's hope he's either terrible or great this year.
5. Pawtucket lost badly to Buffalo yesterday, 7-0. It is almost all Chris Smith's fault, but Lincoln Holdzkom is also guilty. In fact, Holdzkom has not been very good at all so far. He's pitched 7 2/3 innings,given up 9 hits and walked seven batters. I love relievers who put runners on base! YES!!!

Tomorrow expect to see Kyle Snyder (just like I told you) up against Jeremy Sowers. The game's at noon and I will be unable to attend. But you go and have a good time. I want you to.

radical?

This is sort of coming out of left field, but there seems to be some kind of tenuous connection between the AA Portland Sea Dogs and the unaffiliated Can-Am Nashua Pride.

Nashua is less than two hours from Portland. I am wondering if they scout that team at all and occasionally use some of those dudes as roster stuffing.

Short answer: Yes, but I'll get back to this another time. You can read more about it here.


By the way, the Pride, the Worcester Tornadoes, and the Brockton Rox are holding open tryouts tomorrow at historic Holman Park in Nashua. I wish I could check it out.

One break, comin' up!

Some Bisons things to think about tonight as you fall asleep:

1. It is like 90% certain that Cleveland will move its AAA affiliate AWAY from Buffalo and TOWARD Columbus after this season ends. And then who will play in Dunn Tire park? Will the Nationals just switch it over? If so, will the Nationals move their MLB franchise back to Montreal? Don't the Expos seem like a long time ago?
2. I saw a guy with an Expos hat about a week ago and I was so envious that I wanted to physically harm him. It was light blue and everything.
3. Last year the Bisons were tough. This year they could be outplayed by the Iron Pigs.
4. I really only wanted to say one thing, which is that Buffalo will no longer be Cleveland's AAA team. The rest is a composite of fabrication, exaggeration, and speculation. And dedication. Consideration.

Expos suck! Expos suck! Expos suck!

4.18.08 PAWSOX SMASH!!!!!

Pawtucket WINS! 17-5

Pawtucket pitching: Charlie Zink: five innings, two runs. Dan Kolb: Two innings, three runs. Jon Switzer: Two innings, no runs. C. Zink had 4 K's... interesting.

2002 #1 overall draft pick Brian Bullington started for Indy and gave up seven runs in 1 2/3 innings. Then some other relievers on the Pirates AAA team came in and ZZZZZZZZ...

The good part! Brandon Moss took it upon himself to go gorilla. Moss had 5 RBI, doubling and homering for Pawtucket. Jonathan.. you know, let's make it Jon. Or John. Jonathan Van Every is too cumbersome. So JVE had himself a great night out of the nine hole. 4 RBI with a double and a home run.

Chris Carter went 5-6 with a double and 3 RBI. Kottaras remains hot, batting in a pair of runs. Jeff Bailey hit his first home run of the season. In fact, everyone in the lineup got a hit except little Jeff Natale. Think he'll hear about it on the flight back to Warwick?

For Indianapolis, the lovely and talented center fielder Andrew McCutcheon hit his fourth home run of the season off Zink. He must get mad ladies.

you're going to sit right here and we are going to talk about this:

1. Odd blowout move: Indianapolis had pitcher Jesse Chavez bat for Neil Walker in the seventh inning. Can they do that?
2. Brandon Moss got a break from the taxing first base thing when RJ put him out in right field in the fifth. Must be like coming home and taking off your work shoes... and putting your old, comfy sneakers on. Or it could possibly be like sawing your own legs off.
3. By the way, Pawtucket lost last night. Michael Tejera gave up a grand slam to Steve Pearce and that was pretty much it. I didn't write about it because I found it uninteresting. Or because I was lazy.

Pawtucket's all done with the Indians. Okay? Thank god. They're back home tomorrow night to open a series against the struggling Buffalo Bisons (CLE). Chris Smith will start, fireworks to follow. Which is fun if you're a BABY!

4.16.08 PawSox@ Indianapolis Indians - a haircut like that

Pawtucket WINS! 4-3 in 11 innings.

What a beautiful day in Indiana! What a day to sit in the park! Wish I could have been at this awesome, awesome game that the players will fondly look back upon.

Abe Alvarez got Hansack's start because Hansack has a gross, lumpy contusion. Alvarez pitched two innings and gave up two runs. Let's move on to our old pal Kyle Snyder!

Kyle Snyder gave up a solo home run to Andrew McCutcheon (Not only the man, but also the myth. But not the legend, not yet, I have to read his poetry first.) Snyder pitched two and a third innings and struck out two Indians.

Also pitching: Edgar Martinez, Craig Hansen, Lee Gronkiewicz, and Eric Hull, who got the win. Craig Hansen continues to be a solid... okay, somewhat better than solid reliever. He pitched two perfect innings with two K's, two groundouts and a fly out. YES. Thus far Hansen has pitched 9 1/3 scoreless innings.

Righty Luis Munoz started for Indy, pitching six innings. And he gave up two runs. TJ Beam gave up the third run in the seventh inning, which tied the game.

But seriously, Jeff Natale: the little guy who's been in Portland 4-EVA got called up to Pawtucket! Natale had a great game, going 3-5 with a double and a triple.

Kottaras has been hot lately. GK homered, scoring two for Pawtucket in the fourth. Do not mistake these objective words for a softening towards Kottaras. He also caught all 11 innings of the game while Dusty Brown DH'd.

Bobby Kielty tripled and got himself a couple of RBI, most notable the game-winning single at the top of the 11th.

My foot hurts. Can I go to the nurse?
1. This eleven-inning game clocked in at 2:59. Brilliant!
2. Oooh, guess what? The local paper, the Indianapolis Star, does NOT cover Indians games. They don't send any press to the home games at all. That makes me a little angry.
3. The Sea Dogs just finished playing a 17-inning game and swept the CT Defenders. I'm not sure I would ever stay that long.

Tomorrow: Michael Tejera v. John Van Benschoten.

Bad news: Mets fan Antonio Nararainsami died at Shea after falling off the escalator. Nararainsami fell two stories.

It's a really sad story...

Jeff Natale called up.

Looks like Jeff Natale's been called up from Portland. He's leading off and playing second for Pawtucket in Indianapolis right now.

Also, Dusty Brown's DH'ing and Kottaras is behind the plate. Alvarez out, Snyder in.

Joe Thurston has been called up to Boston. Oh, god, I love it. I may have to watch the game tonight.

4.15.08 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Indianapolis Indians (PIT) - my heart beating like a riot

Indianapolis WINS! 3-0. Eight games against the Indians in 15 days? This is not what I wished for when I blew my candles out.

I'm also not satisfied with the visual quality of the lineups I post.

David Pauley started, pitched six innings... whoa, hey, slow down! SIX innings? 68 PITCHES??!! When did Dusty Brown get a job for the PawSox? Can we not tax our starters like this? That's how arms get blown out!

Yeah, so Pauley gave up one run on four hits. It was a patented very good Pauley start, in its own triple-A way. Will he ever break on through to the other side? Probably not, unfortunately.

Jon Switzer struggled and gave up the other two Louisville runs. Dan Kolb kicked in an inning and 2/3 of scoreless goodness, but what for? Hey, I'm not mad.

Massive righty Ty Taubenheim pitched six scoreless, striking out six and walking three. Hats off also to relievers Jesse Chavez and Massachusetts man Jonah Bayliss, who kept Pawtucket from scoring.

Bobby Kielty is still struggling... he went 0-4, striking out thrice. Ach. Joe Thurston and catcher Dusty Brown both doubled. George Kottaras continues to have success out from behind the plate. He's been DH'ing lately and hey, it's working out for him. He doubled in this game. SEE? Being a catcher is ruining his life! Release him from the restrictive gear! Stack him high, watch him fly! Age ain't nothin' but a number!

First baseman (?) Brandon Moss made a fielding error in the eighth. Dan Kolb tossed over to try and pick off the speedy and talented Andrew McCutcheon and Moss couldn't handle it. He is still working on it. Brandon Moss is one of the nicest guys to play in Pawtucket and they're torturing him, I swear. I get what they are trying to do, but it's so hard. On me. The organization should try harder to do what I want. I have to have things my own way...

Hot, young, naked Pirates prospect Steve Pearce was game champ with a pair of doubles and an RBI. Some other Indians got some hits and made some good defensive plays. I don't care and neither do you.

I wanna tell you a little story that makes me warm inside:
1. This game lasted two hours and five minutes. Viva los minor leagues!
2. Dan Kolb balked. I never spot balks. Some of them are so slight and imperceptible!
3. Abe Alvarez is spot starting today for D. Hansack, who has a golf ball sized knot on his arm, just above his elbow. Game time: two pm. I like listening to the game on the radio... Hoard and Hyder do a great job.
4. Jonah Bayliss is from North Adams, MA. Here's a video of him talking about trying to make the Pirates. I won't comment on the headband. Hey, it's spring training. Hey, I went to that park!! YEAH BRADENTON!!!!
5. I like Ty Taubenheim. Post-game quote: "My slider, which I refer to as 'Knightrider,' was really working tonight." Dude, come back to New Hampshire!
6. The Boston R. Sox are also playing a team called the Indians. I haven't been keeping up since I got the Extra Innings package. I've been furiously watching National League baseball. It's good to see some new people! But I heard Jed Lowrie had a great night...

Today is American role model Ian Mackaye's birthday. He's 46! WHAT?! I was too young to see Minor Threat, but I did attend 2-3 Fugazi shows in Providence. One night at Lupo's... it was steaming hot in there. Almost at fainting point. You know how hot it'd get at those summertime shows. And Ian Mackaye was yelling, "Don't put on the air conditioning! Leave it off!!" I don't know why but it made so much sense at the time. Fugazi sold out like every time. Remember how they vowed to never charge more than five dollars for tickets?

Also you know who clothes, hats and shoes would always fly up out of the pit? I remember Ian Mackaye holding up a sneaker, looking for its owner... "I have a shoe..."

I could talk about this all day. But I must be moving on.

Jed Lowrie is expected to be in Boston's lineup tomorrow.

Kyle Snyder accepted a minor league assignment and is returning to Rhode Island. I'm sure he can't wait. I'm sure he will be a starting pitcher in Pawtucket. I also think Chris Smith'll be shipped back to Portland.

Devern Hansack will miss a start an account of being hit hard in the arm.

I'm really, really going to bed now.

4.14.08 PawSox @ Louisville Bats - GAME 2

Pawtucket WINS! 8-2 in this seven inning game.

Charlie Zink pitched five scoreless innings. One hit, one walk (he pegged Paul Janish), five K's. He only threw 59 pitches, but he was pulled from the game to get some work in for Abe Alvarez and Lincoln Holdzkom. Both Alvarez and Holdzkom (Abe and Lincoln! Ha! They should totally go out.) gave up a run to the Bats. Holdzkom walked two batters in 2/3 of an inning, bringing his total up to 5 walks in four games. Yeesh.

New kid Eric Hull got the last two outs of the game without further incident.

Righty Tom Shearn started for Louisville and really let the whole team down! Shearn gave up nine hits and six runs in five innings. He was replaced by freaky Vermonter and southpaw Tyler Pelland. Pelland surrendered the last two runs for Pawtucket. He also has no face.

Gary Majewski of the Richmond Majewskis pitched a scoreless seventh inning.

PawFense (groan): The game's designated hitter George Kottaras made a jerk out of me and had five RBI. He hit two home runs. FLUKE! FLUKE!

Chris Carter, Jeff Bailey, and Dusty Brown all doubled. And you can pin a passed ball on D Brown while you're at it. Jeff Bailey's not driving the ball. He's hitting worse than Chad Spann and I fear for his life. When I see him at the plate, he's not flailing away desperately or anything...he's patient and still draws walks. His OBP is greater than Chris Carter's or Jed Lowrie's. He just keeps grounding out.

Oh yeah, Chad Spann went 0-4 and struck out twice. Loser.

Superstar Jay Bruce and catcher Alvin Colina each drove in a run for the Bats.

rearrange the letters and spell it "Lousiville"
1. Paul Janish is some kind of wondershortstop. He had the best plate discipline in the Reds organization last year but is not considered a top ten prospect. Furthermore, much has been made of his defense but it's really not that great.
2. I wonder if anyone ever called him "Janish Joplin"?
3. Tomorrow night will be a new series v. Indianapolis Indians. David Pauley will face Ty Taubenheim and didn't we just see this matchup? I really don't feel like reliving it.

That's it. I'm sleepy.

Pawsox Blog: sister?

Where the hell have I been? I just found another PawSox blog. You should really check it out. The layout's nicer, it's more well-written and well-researched, it's organized and professional, it includes cold, hard statistics... damn! He's gonna put me out of business!

I mean, if you're into that kind of thing.

The writer/reporter, Keith, says in an early post:

"We strive to be just another resource that offers information on the team. If you're looking for quick-witted commentary and gossip about off-the-field activity, you're probably not going to find it here. Our goal is to talk baseball. Specifically PawSox baseball and the International League."

Yeah! Leave the quick-witted commentary and off-the-field gossip to me! It's what I live for. I hope I never touch the ground.

For real... go read that blog and note the huge quality difference.

Devern Hansack

Hansack hasn't been pitching well. A hard grounder from Andy Phillips banged into his arm on Friday, causing him to leave the game in the first inning. Eh, he'd given up three runs already anyway.

I guess he's okay. I haven't heard otherwise. In a related story, Hansack's age is somewhat mysterious. He is probably 30. He talks to me in dreams...

April 12th (Saturday) - weekends were made for M.

PawSox starter Michael Tejera gets the loss for this 3-1 game against the Bats. New kid Eric Hull pitched 1 2/3 scoreless innings in his PawSox debut.

Louisville countered with righty Justin Lehr. His full name is Charles Larry Lehr, so... Justin it is! Lehr pitched seven innings and gave up no runs on five hits. He struck out five Sox... Kielty twice, Moss, Ginter, and Spann.
Brandon Moss got the sole RBI for the P'Sox.

Things that went wrong for Pawtucket:
1. Two pickoffs: Joe Thurston and Jonathan Van Every.
2. Dusty Brown and Bobby Kielty both grounded into double plays. Looks like BK had a tough night in Kentucky.
3. Michael Tejera made an error trying to pick off Jolbert Cabrera at first. Yes, that Jolbert Cabrera. He's still standing after all this time. However, Cabrera was picked off at second base immediately afterward. The VOSBPO (Value of Second Base Pick Off) was estimated at -.211, then later recalculated to five positions, resulting in a VOSBPO of -.19795.
4. There were 13,000 Louisville Bats fan at this game. Wait... seriously? Were these people actually present? Was it the home opener?

the stuff that no one cares about:
1. Other MLB residue doing time in Louisville: Jerry Hairston Jr!
2. Sunday's rainout provides cause for a Monday double header. For game 1, Reds superstar Homer Bailey will face future professional golfer Charlie Zink OR Chris Smith, depending on who you ask. Oooh, I wonder who'll win! Game 2 starter for PawSox TBA.
3. Bats second baseman Andy Green spent last year in Japan and... wait, hold on... DIDN'T ENJOY IT! "Although the team provided an interpreter, Green said the language barrier was frustrating. He said his wife mostly stayed at their apartment playing with (infant daughter) Lainey rather than deal with the cultural hurdles."
I have heard this story before and it makes me angry. Typical uptight jock meathead bullshit. Instead of spending time getting to know your surroundings and maybe learning a thing or two, just stay inside and don't go out. Foreign languages are so frustrating! And the pizza in Japan sucks!
4. On April 7th, Justin Lehr had a perfect game going into the eighth inning.

See you later on tonight.

Juan Pierre has a World Series ring.

"Pierre is very unpopular among Dodgers fans, who frequently refer to him on various blogs as Slappy McPopup."
(from Yahoo! Sports)

Ha, ha.

of all the charlie browns in the world

The Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs lost their home opener v. the Richmond Braves. It's almost more than I can take.

Bryan Corey was designated for assignment. I will miss him around here. He stayed out of trouble, was responsible and earnest. Worked hard. Use to give his mother flowers and that. The killer is that he just got a place up in Boston. For the family.

I can't stand it.

PawSox complete sweep of Lehigh Valley.

Starter David Pauley gives up one solo HR (catcher Jason Jaramillo) in 4 1/3 innings. A slew of other relievers ensured the win for Pawtucket. Abe Alvarez pitched two perfect innings, striking out two.

Jonathan Van Every homered in the 5th. Kottaras, Brown, and Lowrie each had doubles.

Dusty Brown was the day's catcher while George Kottaras was the DH. Jed Lowrie played third base.

It's really too bad that the Iron Pigs have to go home to Corporate Beverage Park in Allentown and play their home opener with a 0-8 record. Poor kids.

I wonder if Pawtucket will run its starters a little deeper this year. I know I don't know anything about their player development plan, but don't you want a pitcher that'll work past five innings? And I understand that you want to keep all your pitchers working... keep them prepared, fresh. But still. All the other teams are doing it!

Although I wonder if the new pitching coach will work the "starters" harder, I also realize that they are not ultimately making the decisions of who pitches how many innings and when. I'm sure those orders come from Boston. Mostly.

And why is it that when you get a garden salad from a pizza place, they're all exactly the same? A pile of iceberg lettuce with one cherry tomato, one cucumber slice, a few carrot peels, and a couple of onion ringlets. Oh, don't forget the little tublet of dressing. I feel so ripped off, paying 5-6 dollars for that.

Adios.

The truth about Bartolo Colon.

Bartolo Colon is on the DL with a "side strain".

What really happened is he crashed his car.

That's all I know, but it is the truth.

Sean McAdam had this to say about opening day at Fenway.

That is some restrained disgust right there. Good article.

4.9.08 Pawtucket Red Sox v. LVIP - 'F' is for fighting, 'R' is for red.

Pawtucket WINS! 2-0

I couldn't even watch the Iron Pigs walk off the field at game's end. I feel so bad for them. No runs when Charlie Zink pitches? That'll keep you lying awake at night

And so Zink pitched 4 1/3 and gave up 4 hits. Five Ks, two walks. I don't know. He did better than I thought he would.

Lefty Jon Switzer got the last couple of outs in the fifth. Mike Timlin pitched the sixth, uno-dos-tres. I wouldn't have expected less!

Okay... Craig Hansen... oh, god. It kills me to say this but Hansen pitched GREAT in the seventh and eighth. Changing speeds, keeping the hitters off balance. Just terrific. Set all six batters down in order. Hansen's a really tough guy to root for but I have to give him credit tonight. Ugh.

Mr. Lee Gronkiewicz got the save tonight. And so the game was a four-hit shutout.

Righty Ron Chiavacci started for Lehigh Valley. He pitched 5 1/3 scoreless innings, giving up four hits. Ron Chiavacci is also excellent when paired with lobster ravioli in thermidor sauce.

Vic Darensbourg came into the eighth with no outs and two runners on and blew the game for the I-Pigs.

K, offense: Keith Ginter pretty much won this game. Yes, I am serious. No, I won't shut up. Ginter batted in two runs (Carter, Moss) with his crucial hit in the eighth inning. That's 'cause Carter singled and Moss doubled. All that had to happen was a decent closer in the ninth and that's where Mr. Lee came in.

Jed Lowrie and Chad Spann both had zero plate production tonight. Joe Thurston busted out his hot, bunting action, moving runners over with style and grace. Thurston played RF and had a great throw into the infield in the 4th, holding Andy Tracy to a long, long single. JT is a good man.

many different things have happened:
1. RF TJ Bohn was ejected from the game in the 7th, arguing that he was safe at first. Maybe. Gookie Dawkins came into the game and played second... several players changed positions in order to make this work.
2. Chris Carter was all aggro-pissed when he popped out with runners on base in the third inning. Is he an intense player or just an asshole? It's such a fine line.
3. Mike Timlin was in the house. I watched him walk out to the bullpen and I wondered if the other relievers stopped talking when he stepped through the door. Like hushed reverence.
4. Iron Pig Chris Snelling is new in the Phillies org. He comes from the Nationals, by way off Tampa Bay. He's compelling!
He's slovenly! After the game he walked into the visitors' clubhouse and said, "Hey! What's this lying around shit?"
5. Art Spencer threw out the first pitch! Hey there, Rhode Island, you know Art Spencer from Lite 105. He does the evening show, NiteLite, in his trademark Rancho Relaxo voice. Wouldn't you know it, he's skinny and he wears glasses.
6. Hansen was veering between 83 and 96.
7. Can we get Van Every moved up in the lineup? Why is he batting ninth and Kottaras second?
8. Jeff Bailey strapped it on and caught Timlin's warmup tosses. Just like old times.
9. Day game tomorrow. Pauley will pitch the last game of the series, then Pawtucket heads for Kentucky.

TIMLIN!!!

4.8.08 CT Defenders v. Portland Sea Dogs

Connecticut WINS! 2-1 with an 11th inning walk-off by Travis Ishikawa.

This was a rather good game with wicked pitching. The Defenders' game is tight this year. The guy batting 9th, SS Olmo Rosario, was one productive mofo, going 4-4. OLMO!

Masterson pitched well, Brooks McNiven pitched well. Everybody get high, everybody get low. In spite of being untall, Portland second baseman Jeff Natale was an on-base machine! Like me! Natale walked twice, singled, and was hit by a pitch.

Not much production from the heart of the Sea Dogs' lineup, but we can let it slide, considering the gutty, gritty pitching.

In a related story, Dodd Stadium is now charging $2 for parking. And don't even think of parking in some nearby lot... they repeated several times during the game that doing so would get your ass towed.

The Defenders' superfan was there. Do you know who I'm talking about? Yeah, it's a little weird.

I'll be at McCoy tonight.

It's not as good this year!

Sometimes when Conan O'Brien (or maybe any other late night host) had a guest that'd written a book, Conan would be all, "You know, I was flipping through your book earlier, and I noticed..." and I would always think WRONG! You mean you had one of your interns find something discussion-worthy and brief you on it.

So this morning I was flipping through the PawSox program and there's this little piece on Dusty Brown. He says:

"A lot of my job is handling the pitching staff and earning the respect of the pitching staff, and having pitchers that want me behind the plate when they have the ball."

I know what he means... he wants the pitchers to think that Dusty Brown will make them look good. But I also wonder if he means he needs to be a guy a pitcher would think is cool? Like, he always buys the first round... tells them he likes their shirt... compliments their 20 inch rims... maybe he tells Michael Bowden's friends from back home, "This guy's always surrounded by the ladies!"

D. Brown and Kottaras are close to being interchangeable at this point. Maybe being the guy you'd most want to party with can make the difference. We'll see what happens.

See also: David Wells/Kelly Shoppach.

4.8.08 Pawtucket Red Sox v. Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs - ma'am

Pawtucket WINS!4-1

Starting pitcher is non-roster man Chris Smith. Last chance, Chris.

Smith pitched 4 lonely innings, gave up two hits and struck out seven. He also walked TJ Bohn in the second inning. The Iron Pigs ran up the counts on Smith early on, but he chilled out during the third and fourth inning. The Iron Pigs are terrible, anyway. They're 0-6 at this point. So go blame the Phillies.

Edgar Martinez followed with an inning and change. The I-Pigs only run was all his fault. He gave up the long ball to Casey, not Corey, Smith.

Then something interesting happened. Lefty Abe Alvarez pitched 2 1/3, didn't allow any hits, didn't walk anyone. His control/location has to be insane... god knows he wasn't throwing more than 82, tops. Yes, Lehigh Valley is clearly a bad team, but whoa. When you're just sailing it in there and whiffing batters, that is brilliant. Abe Alvarez is not dead yet.

Martalvarez was followed by Dan Kolb (one inning) and Lee Gronkiewicz, who is an out-getting master in AAA. Is he Travis Hughes? Maybe. Maybe.

Lefty JA Happ started for Lehigh Valley. I may hate typing Lehigh Valley almost as much as I hate Scranton/Wilkes-Barre. Maybe not... SWB has crazy punctuation and it's the Yankees' affiliate.

"Happy" pitched 4 2/3, giving up 3 runs on 6 hits. He started off pretty tuff and he looks like one of those lefty beanpoles with rubbery, whip-fast arms but... yeah, he started walking people. And this is not last year's PawSox! Five walks for Happ, one of them bringing a run home.

Happ was succeeded by Joe Bisenius and Matt Childers. Bisenius gave up the fourth run.

Pawtucket offense: Yesterday's DH Chris Carter is offensive. Carter walked a couple of times, doubled in a run, had another hit in the third... I heard him on the radio the night prior and he was like, "FUCK YEAH! I LOVE THIS TEAM! YEAH BASEBALL!" and so I love him in Pawtucket. He is probably eliminating Jeff Bailey's job and ending the poor guy's career but that's the way love goes.

Jed Lowrie tripled. Triples are the best. When a runner starts rounding second and he's going balls out to beat the throw, everyone sits up and takes notice. It's exciting.

Brandon Moss has been struggling. He struck out three times. Jeff Bailey was also flailing with runners on base.

Van Every and D. Brown each doubled, Brown doing it RBI style.

The Iron Pigs scattered a few singles, but the only hit of consequence belonged to second baseman Casey Smith (home run, 6th inning.)

jump up and put it in the basket, chief:
1. You really should see this guy on the Iron Pigs, Valentino Pascucci. He is a freaking MOUNTAIN. He looks like that guy from 'Porky's'. Real big and dumb looking. I almost wanted him to mash one, just for entertainment's sake...he hit 34 home runs for the Albuquerque Isotopes last year. SCOOOOOOOCH!!
2. Thin crowd at the park. I could hear the velcro scratch of players removing their batting gloves. I also heard the frustrated curses of the visiting team's players.
3. Brandon Moss at first... oh, dear. He's skittish with the ball when there're runners on base. The ball gets hit to him and the runner on first really throws him off, you can see it. This happened twice during the game and he didn't throw to second, just got the batter out at first. Which is fine. I hope I am explaining this clearly.
4. Joe Thurston has defensive flash, but he is not 5'11". I stood next to him at the luncheon. I'll say 5'7", maybe 5'8".
5. I don't understand why they brought Chris Smith up from Portland. I think it's a secret.

Was that good enough? I think so.

Mr. B's Bagels has closed.

Double header today. PawSox (Chris Smith v. JA Happ) at noon, SeaDogs (Jerkoff Masterson v. Brooks McNiven) at 6:30 in Norwich, CT.

"Chris Smith, P- Okay signer. Didn’t sign every occasion that I asked, and didn’t have that great an attitude. Not the best signer on the club."

-from thompsonworks.com

"CHARLIE will be back on Saturday"

Tonight's PawSox game was rained out. There will be a single admission double header tomorrow.

I am going away for the weekend (WWR!) and it is non-baseball related. So you will all have to somehow manage without me.

Drive caffle.

middle in, away away

Brandon Moss plays first base.

This bothers me in some fundamental way. When pitchers throw over to Moss to try and pick off the runner, I get nervous. When he's on the tail end of a double play, I want to hold my breath. It's all moving too quickly. I don't like it.

I demand an explanation. Who are they grooming him for? It's not like we needed another dope at first base.

See you later.

PS: Isn't that what friends are for?

- Brian Bullington is disappointed he didn't make the Pirates' rotation
- Story on Indians OF Steve Pearce fm. the Indy Star
- Indianapolis mgr. Trent Jewett did not wear his batting helmet last night! I'm telling!
- Dusty Brown paid $170 for a steak.
- Last night's game was a one-hitter. Dude.
- Bryan Corey wants to play for Boston not Pawtucket. I like Corey a lot but this is a long shot. I will cross my fingers and wash myself in the blood of the lamb for him.

4.3.08 PawSox v. Indianapolis Indians - this song is for your parents

Pawtucket WINS! 3-0

Your number one starting pitcher was Bartolo Colon. BC K'd five guys, walked one and gave up a hit. Craig Hansen provided two subsequent innings of relief, walking 2 and striking out three. Eighth inning belonged to Dan Kolb (one walk and no hits) and Mr. Lee Gronkiewicz closed it out uno, dos, tres. YEAH.

Indians righty starter Brian Bullington pitched five innings and surrendered all three runs. Mariano Salas pitched well in the 6th and seventh, striking out three and walking one. Righty Mike Thompson pitched the eighth without further incident.
Jonathan Van Every homered in the third inning, driving in two runs. Brandon Moss also doubled in the third, driving in Jed Lowrie.

Joe Thurston, Chris Carter, and Jeff Bailey all singled.

For Indianapolis, only first baseman Adam Boeve managed a hit (off Colon). Boeve also walked twice.

two things:
1. I'm somewhat over my hatred for George Kottaras. That being said, Kottaras performed thusly:
First at-bat: Swings at first pitch. Pops out.
Second at-bat: Swings at first pitch. Flies out.
Third at-bat: Grounds into a double play.
Fourth at-bat: K!

Kottaras also made an error trying to throw out the base-stealing Adam Boeve. His throw to second was... whoops... way over Thurston. This is really great stuff coming from a guy batting second (!).
2. I'm convinced that Chris Carter is permanently eye-blacked. Day games, night games, in the shower, during marital relations, at church, everything.
3. The Indians black uniforms were a great background to Colon's pitches! You could really see where he was locating the ball.
4. 2008 will be Jeff Bailey's fifth season in Pawtucket. Wow, what?
5. Much pageantry involving the police and the firefighters. Bagpipes and the singing state trooper. Blackhawks and salutes.
6. New player murals on the ramp: Pedroia, Lester, Cla Meredith, and Manny D.
7. Bartolo Colon's the first starter in Pawtucket. The other four in probable order: Pauley, Hansack, Zink, and Cuban Michael Tejera! YEAH!
8. Tomorrow v. Pauley: Ty Taubenheim, followed by RHP Luis Munoz/Hansack (SAT) and RHP John Van Benschoten/ C. Zink (SUN). I may get to catch the Sunday game.

I'll post lineups in a few minutes...

April 3-6, 2008: Indianapolis Indians at McCoy

The Indianapolis Indians are the AAA team of the Pittsburgh Pirates. The Pirates pretty much blew up their farm system at the end of 2007 so maybe something good will come out of it. God knows they needed to do something.

you'll get no autographs from these guys and like it:
1. OF Andrew McCutchen. Number one superstar! May make the big team later on. McCutchen is only 21. In his spare time he writes poetry and freestyle raps and does artwork. He also sings! I wonder what he likes to sing? Please let it be classic R&B.
2. INF Brian Bixler. The Pirates' overall number one draft pick in '02 and possible Shortstop of the Future! He will wear a silver jumpsuit and eat capsule food. Robotic arms will remove his shoes when he comes home from work.
3. OF Steve Pearce. Played in 23 games for Pittsburgh last year (AVG .294/OBP .392) and did not hit a home run, which no one cares about but must have driven him NUTS!!
4. 3B Neil Walker. He used to be a catcher and is still working on the infield thing. Footwork? Is that one of the things? Anyway, he's a switch hitter.

"Don't you know who I am?!"
1. Righty reliever TJ Beam. He's that wicked tall kid from the Yankees organization. He pitched a couple of games last year in NYC. He was at the last McCoy game in '07.
2. Ty Taubenheim! He was on the Blue Jays. That guy's a giant!
3. C Raul Chavez. Yup, still around.

And Repeat IL Offender Matt Kata. He's an infielder. I think he's been in Triple-A since Reagan was in office.

"Maybe you are apopleptic because you don't understand anything about baseball. Perhaps you have never heard of a little thing called INTANGIBLES?? Matt Kata bleeds his guts out every day for this team and all you people want to do is talk about some stupid stats he may or may not have."

(posted by Brian Hayes on Lone Star Ball.)

See you at the park tonight... remember to dress warmly. No flip-flops!

I hate Marco Scutaro.

You know what? I hate Marco Scutaro. For no reason.

In a related story, I still hate Tom Caron. I think Dan Roche would be a fine replacement! Everyone loves Rochey... I know you do, too.

neither

Today was the 2008 PawSox season kickoff luncheon. Bruncheon. It was at noon and it was at a country club and it was subdued, polite, dull.

Dan Hoard was the emcee. Other speakers included the Blackstone Valley Chamber of Commerce guy, the president of the International League (Randy Mobley), PawSox radio voice Steve Hyder, and club manager Ron Johnson.

I sat next to Vaughn and Eileen, country club members and clueless WASPs. Vaughn worked for a major banking firm and was like, "Have you heard of this guy? Jacoby Ellsbury? We saw him in Pawtucket!"

Apple cobbler a la mode was served for dessert.

highlights?
1. No, Kielty and Colon were not there. Come on, now.
2. The loathesome Chad Spann turned up like a bad penny. He wore his sunglasses on top of his head the whole time. Douche.
3. I met (now beardless) Jeff Bailey and got my picture taken with him! I asked him about Jim Buckley (hey, I had to think of something!) and it was tremendous. I'll get my hands on the photos.
4. "You drink and drive, you lose." J-Kap was in the house.
5. Abe Alvarez was wearing an excellent gray checked jacket. I wish I had one just like it. He probably got it at Banana Republic or something.
6. Craig Hansen looked much less disgusting than last year.
7. Ron Johnson this year's team is "offensively exciting" and there will be offensive players at every position. Wow!
8. It should be noted that Charlie Zink shaved his head. Someone said he now looks less like Jimmy Fallon. Jigga what?
9. Randy Mobley (IL Prez) was noticeably pissy about Richmond's inability to build a new ballpark. You should have heard his tempered condemnation of the community leaders. Thus, the new Atlanta Braves AAA team will move to Georgia! Let's all point our shotguns into the air and blast a few in celebration!
10. RJ's wife is a blonde bombshell. He also requests that you "cheer the hell out of him" at the park.
11. I brought my camera. You know how many pictures I took? Zero point zero zero.
12. Baseball players skew tall. You kind of forget that until you're in a room with a team of them, filing in.

See you tomorrow!

we've both given up smoking because it's fatal. so whose matches are those?

2008 is the International League's 125th anniversary AND they are bringing back the IL Hall of Fame. Amongst this year's inductees will be Ben Mondor, Joe Morgan, and Jim Rice. I told you this already, but consider it a reminder. Strings around your fingers.

All this year's game balls will bear the 125th anniv. logo. GIT YOU SOME!

Sunday May 18th - Syracuse and Rochester, the two oldest teams in the IL, will play an exhibition game at Doubleday Field in Cooperstown. Special unannounced guest? Carlton Fisk.

In 1914, Babe Ruth played in the IL (Montreal). He pitched over thirty games but only homered once! The crazy thing is he tripled 10 times.

More on the PawSox luncheon later on...

I shall be profoundly tardy.

Tomorrow's probables: RHP Bryan Bullington, Indianapolis Indians homeboy (born in Indianapolis) v. Fatolo... No, I'm sorry, Bartolo. I want to call him Fatolo so badly but it's not at all funny.

You would have blown my mind in 2005 if you told me that Colon would be the PawSox opening day pitcher in 2008. Triple-A is crazy like that. And this is why I'm hot.

I'm off to the Welcome Home Luncheon feat. the IL Prez, RJ, Hyder, and T-Pain. They're going to serve me food I won't eat and I'm late. Already.

More to come...