it's a Madonna pap smear

Yes, I am a slacker and yes, I have missed a lot of Pawtucket neat-o roster moves. I'm also leaving for my vacation in like three days so even more absence of me.

So while I was away partying and whatnot, Chris Smith was called up and Bartolo Colon was called up and Brandon Moss came back and said ,"HEY SEAN DANIELSON YOU INSENSITIVE SCHMUCK GIVE ME NUMBER 12 BACK!!!"

It was also noted that Sean Danielson looks like Jeff Bailey hit with a shrink ray. So, yeah, Jeff Bailey clobbered everything he saw and continued to be the world's thickest leadoff hitter. Fan favorite Sandy Madera was kicked downstairs to Portland. Van Every high-fived Manny Ramirez right after Manny high-fived a fan in Baltimore.

Jose Vaquedano got comfy in the Pawtucket bullpen and slickster husband Justin Masterson got his bald self a semi-promotion to McCoy. RHP Miguel Asencio said, "Sayonara, Portland Maine!" and headed for the Ocean State.

Clay Buchholz is rehabbing here at home. Former PawSox great Jon Lester Light Bulb pitched a no-hitter (but still doesn't realize he's about to be traded).

Jonathan Van Every strikes out a lot. Edgar Martinez and Lincoln Holdzkom should be looking over their shoulders. David Pauley is still without question the nicest guy in Pawtucket. And Charlie Zink is tremendous.

Geremi Gonzalez

Or 'Jeremi'. The man has been struck by lightening and killed. Crazy. I really liked him.

He was on the PawSox during the crazy Roberto Petagine/Denney Tomori days. Chip Ambres. God, it seems like a long, long time ago.

I feel sad about it.

5.26.08 Pawtucket Red Sox v. Scranton Wilkes-Barre Yankees HA HA HA HA HA HA!!

Red Sox murderize Yankees 11-5! With six home runs!

Reluctant yet wildly successful knuckleballer Charlie T. Zink went eight innings and gave up four runs on five hits (one run was not earned). He walked three and struck out two. Lefty Jon Switzer pitched the nine-cap and gave up the fifth run (two hits and a walk can do that to you). Jon Switzer is muy misterioso!

Counter pitcher Jeff Karstens only lasted 3 2/3 innings. He gave up six runs on seven hits... and he walked three guys. Karstens might also have been startled by the pair of home runs he was tagged for. I don't know, but you really need to check out his roster photo.

The decidedly more attractive Billy Traber pitched the subsequent inning and a third and gave up three runs. Traber ALSO handed PawSox batters some fat balls and watched two of his offerings leave the G.D. park. Steven White followed, pitched less than two innings and surrendered TWO MORE HOME RUNS. J.B. Cox stepped up and had the only decent outing of the night, pitching 1 1/3 and not walking anyone or allowing a hit. Home run, schmome run!

And now here is who: the Jeff Bailey, who everyone knows about by now, cranked a homer out in his first at-bat for the fourth time in May. That was his first HR... the second came in the fourth, also off Karstens. Bailey is currently a league leader in just about every hitting category, most notably NUMBER ONE in OBP (.422).

Keith Ginter, Van Every, Kottaras, and Gil Velazquez had a homer apiece. It was Velazquez' first of the year. No doubles or triples were hit in this game.

Jeff Bailey made an error and Kottaras had two passed balls, which I can reluctantly forgive because of the knuckleball. Sean Danielson went 0-5 and struck out twice.

WHAT?
1. Pawtucket is currently tied for first place in the IL North with S/W-B. It's really weird to see the PawSox as a winning team! But good, yeah. Chris Carter was on the radio and talked about the great chemistry the team has. I don't believe him.
2. I wish I could erase every bad thing I ever said about Bailey in the past. I know I called him dumb more than once. Hyder asked him post-game about the team's success and he attributed it to the pitching. Because he is humble and ordinary and you totally love him.

Kyle Snyder's off the DL and pitching tomorrow v. Dan Giese. The disabled list? I didn't even know he was in trouble. As for me, I won't be back at the park for a while so you will have to have fun on my behalf.

Later!

how did i wind up here tonight?

I came pretty close to getting tickets for tomorrow night's Boston game versus the Milwaukee Brewers, but not having a cell phone proved to be my undoing. Rats! It really would have been great to see Van Every.

Hunter Jones has been called up to Pawtucket, which is so cool.... Jones was my favorite Sea Dogs pitcher. Must be the rec specs. Please enjoy my old snapshot of Hunter J, which looks like one of those "last known photo" things you see on crime shows.

It's 1993 all over again!

McCoy stadium is hosting another concert this summer and it is the Dropkick Murphys and the Mighty Mighty Bosstones. It's in July and tickets are $39.

I don't even know what to say.

5.13.08 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Buffalo Bisons - overbid

6-5 Buffalo. Lincoln Holdzkom ruins everyone's Christmas.

Kyle Snyder pitched three innings and left with a run, a walk, and a strikeout. Edgar Martinez pitched 2 2/3 and gave up another run. Jose Vaquedano finished off the sixth inning and pitched the seventh, giving up one run on three hits. Lincoln Holdzkom fell apart like a Chinese motorcycle in the eighth, giving up three runs to give Buffalo the lead after walking two and giving up two hits. IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU, LINCOLN!

Buffalo starter Brian Slocum went 4 1/3 innings and gave up four runs on seven hits. Two of the hits were home runs. There was some relief work, but I don't care and neither should you.

Chad Spann doubled tonight. He was seen sweating and twitching on second base and asking Bisons' shortstop Danny Sandoval, "What do I do? WHAT DO I DO?". Jed Lowrie also doubled, which was nice. Joe Thurston hit his first home run! Jeff Bailey also homered, making it his fourth in three games, and had three RBI for the night.

Chris Carter went 0-5 with a strikeout.

Josh Barfield and Ryan Mulhern doubled for Buffalo. Jason Cooper homered off Edgah. Sounds about right.

Pawtucket HAD this game going into the eighth. Holdzkom kinda sucks, doesn't he?

hole in one or two:
1. Did you know that Coco Crisp uses a wicked heavy bat? Heaver than Ortiz or Manny's? He does, it's huge! Jeff Bailey uses it for batting practice.
2. You might say, wow, Jeff Bailey's doing great with all the home runs and whatnot. He is fourth in the International League. But the massive and mighty Mike Hessman of the Toledo Mudhens has 17! That is CRAZY!
3. Bailey's also fifth in OBP, sixth in OPS.
4. Bartolo Colon should start on Thursday in Buffalo. Colon is a former Bison AND the only pitcher to throw a no-hitter at Dunn Tire Park.

see you tomorrow

Kill Ticketmaster!

This has nothing to do with baseball, but my disgust with Ticketmaster has reached an all-time high. Henceforth and heretoafter, I won't give one thin dime to them. I'm also encouraging everyone else to do the same.

Boycott! Just try it!

and I'm wondering why you left

Two things I wonder:

1. Pedro Martinez "recommended" David Ortiz to the front office. Ortiz "recommended" Sandy Madera to the FO. How does this work, exactly? Who do the players freaking think they are? Why would Epstein or whoever even take this stuff into consideration? Shut up, baseball players.

Maybe it's not even true. I don't know.

2. Are there a lot of baseball players who're addicted to pain killers? There has to be! All that day-to-day pain and soreness. Sure, there's acupuncture and massage therapy and marijuana, but come on.

Those are some things I wonder.

don't like the look of this old town

See what happens when I slack off for the weekend? No more Alvarez, no more Bryan Corey. I'm a very sensitive lady and I will miss them both. I don't seem to have an photos of Corey, so here's a picture of the PawSox bullpen where Alvarez and Corey and the deer and the antelope played.

The good news is Jose Vaquedano's been called up from Portland. That should get the fans pretty excited.

So thanks, Bryan Corey and Abe Alvarez. I hope you have fond memories of Rhode Island.

Abe was your best friend. And you will never, ever, ever see him again.

Abe Alvarez' release is not really a surprise. And yet it seems sudden.

When I first saw him pitch, he was an awkward looking youngster with a lot of talent. As time went by... what happened? I guess he reached a plateau. Injured his ankle. And it's really too bad, because he went from being sort of a punk to a mature guy who was really nice...

I think part of his appeal was that he wasn't your typical brawny, lobotomized jock. I doubt he ever uttered the phrase, "Fuck, yeah! Let's go work out!" (tm Youkilis). DJ Alvarez was a Mexicali, weirdo iPod hippie who came from nothing. One of my favorite all-time PawSox and I will miss him.

FONTUCKY!!!!

Abe Alvarez
Nickname: Microfono
Favorite Musical Artist: The Legendary Roots Crew
Favorite Hobby: Playing my turntables
Favorite City: Portland, Oregon
Favorite Sports Moment: MLB Debut and Dodgers winning 1988 World Series

5.12.08 Pawtucket Red Sox v. Norfolk Tides (BAL) - I Gotta Do It My Way

9-6 Pawtucket

Devern Hansack has been underperforming thus far and once again struggled in this game. Hansack gave up five runs on 8 hits in his five inning appearance. He also gave up two walks. His first inning was good, a quick one-two-three, but after that he was all over the place. Good thing Pawtucket scored nine runs!

Jon Switzer pitched a scoreless sixth and Eric Hull pitched the following two innings, giving up a solo home run to Mandy Moore. I'm sorry, Mary Tyler... Dudley? Hang on. Something Moore. Ah, the kid from Long Beach. Scott Moore! Stupid hippie!

Chris Smith got the save... three up, three down with a strikeout. Good work, Owen Wilson.

The PawSox got lucky last night. Craig Anderson pitched like shit. It may have been one of the worst pitching performances I've ever seen at McCoy! CA gave up nine runs on ten hits in 2 1/3 innings. Four of those hits were home runs! FOUR! And they just left him out there in the cold!

Big, slovenly Ryan Bukvich came in to offer a little help. Bukvich throws pretty hard. He went for 2 2/3 innings and allowed no further scoring or home run nonsense.

Bob McCrory and Jim Miller also pitched, but no one was really there to see it.

The Pawsox were crazy in the first inning. Leadoff batter Jeff Bailey walked up and first pitch, BLAMMO! Then Joe Thurston gets on base due to a fielding error. The Tides go for a pickoff, but lose the ball in the ensuing rundown process and Thurston returns safely to first. He then steals second, tries to steal third, gets caught in another rundown and is hit with the baseball by Mike Costanzo. D'oh!

So later on Bailey homers again. Jonathan Van Every and Jed Lowrie also hit home runs. TOWERING home runs, no joke. Three RBI apiece for JV and Bailey. Joe Thurston hit a pair of doubles while wearing his stylish cloak.

PS Oscar Salazar and Scott Moore each homered for Norfolk. Crazy Canadian Sebastien Boucher tripled off Eric Hull. I wonder if Hull and Thurston know each other? And did LA prove too much for the man?

making love to whoever i please:
1. I attended this game, but left due to both the cold weather and the overall crappiness of this matchup. Sure, it's great to see the kids hitting them out of the park, but the half-assed pitching was more than I could take.
2. Some aging greaser with perhaps an old grudge crept up to the front row near me and started yelling at Tides manager Gary Allenson: "Hey, Gary! New York Times magazine, Gary!" It was bizarre and sinister.
3. Did you know that Esteban Yan is on the Tides? Yan, we all thought you were dead! And guess who else? Alex Cintron! I know!
4. I have to say, the question I get asked most while I'm at McCoy is "What franchise is this team part of?". It's because I'm wearing glasses and a power suit.
5. Brandon Fahey looks like he may have put on some weight. Thank god. It's one thing to be slender and speedy, quite another to make Casey Fossum look like Orson Wells.
6. Jed Lowrie back in the lineup. Wow, was he benched for a really long time or something? I haven't seen him in forever! Maybe he had a really bad injury!
7. This was the Tides' seventh loss in a row. Hey, cheer up, guys: you're off to Lehigh Valley!

PawSox are heading back to Buffalo. Already? Maybe I'll go back, too. I have unfinished business.

you think you're so illustrious. you call yourself intense.

Dave Pauley thinks it is funny. Dusty Brown does not.

5.11.08 PawSox v. Norfolk Tides

Pawtucket Red Sox win 8-5. Click here for the box score.

I'm bored, is all.

Geronimo Gil and D'Angelo Jimenez are with you all the way.

Radhames Liz was originally listed as "Liz Radhames" on the PawSox home page. He was also referred to as "Liz Radhames" in the Pawtucket Times.

Mr. R. Liz will start game one in tomorrow's double-header. Bartolo Colon will start for the P. Red Sox.

Hayden Penn starts game 2. Michael Tejera opposes. Hayden Penn! Everyone told me he was awesome. Was I lied to?

in case you didn't feel like showing up

could i have this dance for the rest of my life?

I just got home and the only game on the baseball premium package was Rangers/Mariners. Not my first choice by a long shot, but I watch it because that's all there is.

And then! Richie Sexson! Sexson objects to a high, inside pitch by Kason Gabbard and charges the mound. The best part is he takes off his batting helmet and hucks it right at Gabbard! It bounces off him! Gabbard hunkers down and throws his shoulder into it! Huge, sweat, smelly pileup ensues...

Awesome brawl. I hope Sexson got in one, good punch!

Also, it needs to be noted that both Eddie Guardado and Milton Bradley are both alive and playing major league baseball.

5.8.08 PawSox v. Durham Bulls - PROCHASKA!

3-2 Pawtucket, 4 game series SPLIT!

David Pauley went six innings. Five hits, two runs. Most of his trouble came in the sixth inning, when designated hitter Josh Lanbandeira led off the inning with a solo home run. Pauley then proceeded to give up a double and a single and really owes Gil Velazquez a beer for a flashy 6-3 to get the third out. Pauley also struck out five batters.

Chris Smith has been a great reliever. Smith pitched two perfect innings of no-hit relief. I like it! Bryan Corey pitched the ninth and got the save.

Durham lefty starter Mike PROCHASKA! had many, many problems. MP pitched 4 1/3 innings and gave up nine hits, three runs. M-Pro walked three and struck out four. His ERA currently stands at 8.51

Colter Bean pitched three scoreless innings in relief, giving up two hits and a walk. Bean struck out Velazquez, Sean Casey, and Sandy Madera. It was his first game for Durham. You may remember CB as a guy in the Yankees system who was briefly on the Boston Red Sox roster (but never actually played). Up until recently... VERY recently it seems... he'd been playing in Mexico. He throws hard and is almost as big as the world's largest nun.

Uninteresting reliever Dale Thayer also pitched.

There were singles a go-go in this game. Ten runners were left on base. Sandy Madera and Sean Danielson each doubled. If you care about the rehabbing megastars, here goes: Alex Cora played second base and went 1-4 with a single. He also struck out and grounded into a DP. Sean Casey DH'd and went 2-4 with one K. Both guys went seven innings deep.

Gil Velazquez went 0-4 with one strikeout.

For the Durham Bulls: Josh Lanbandeira homered (like I told ya) and Dan Johnson batted in Elliot Johnson, who'd doubled. Elliot Johnson also nearly got himself tossed for non-subtle strike zone disagreements.

happiness is just an illusion:
1. The person Mike Prochaska would most like to meet is Jackie Bushman. Who? I don't know, it has something to do with putting bloody bullet holes into majestic, proud deer with soft, chocolate eyes. I personally don't think it's very nice to kill animals for fun, but then, I once subscribed to Premiere magazine.
2. Justin Ruggiano (al forno) was not in the lineup today, but it did not prevent him from being an asshole. He got a good heckling while he was acting as first base coach.
3. This game was heavily attended by schoolkids and the Bro-letariat. I think everyone wanted to see major leaguers. I was just there for Jon Switzer.
4. Alex Cora might know everyone involved with organized baseball. Third baseman for the Devil Rays AAA team? Hey, how you been? Home plate umpire! Whaddup!

I had planned to attend tomorrow night's game, but it appears to be a rainout. So... see you another day.

Sean Danielson is insensitive.

I noticed that recent call-up Sean Danielson was wearing number 12 tonight. That would be Brandon Moss's number. Brandon Moss who just had his appendix removed and will miss several weeks while he recovers.

Now go make a donation to Moss's favorite charity.

5.5.08 Pawtucket Red Sox v. Durham Bulls - Ay, caramba!

Oh, man. Bulls win 1-0. Geez.

Charlie Zink was once again The Man. Zink pitched his ass off, going eight(!)innings and giving up only one run on three hits. Zink struck out three batters and pegged Bulls right fielder Justin Ruggiano twice and walked him. Ninety-one pitches. You hated to see him get the loss.

Bryan Corey came in for the ninth. BC gave up a hit and walk but allowed no further runs.

Zink was just outpitched tonight by Mitch Talbot. Talbot was great, going seven scoreless and striking out 8. He gave up four hits and walked NOBODY! Grant Balfour helped out his teammate by pitching a scoreless 8 and 9. Balfour went one, two, three in the ninth, striking out Thurston, Kottaras, and Madera. And that was it.

Pawtucket scattered a few singles, but that was it. The white-hot Bailey had a couple of singles and struggled with a strike call in the eighth. Thurston had a tough night, going 0-4 with three strikeouts.

Elliot Johnson got the Bulls' only RBI in the first inning. Ruggiano is just back from Tampa Bay and got on base four times.

infinita tristeza:
1. This game was great. It seems like every time the Durham Bulls roll in, it gets exciting at McCoy.
2. When Joe Thurston struck out to end the third, first baseman Dan Johnson shouted, "Ka-CHING!" on his was back to the dugout. Ha ha, very funny. Fuckface.
3. Gary Gaetti!
4. Tonight's PawSox trivia question: Who was the last batter to steal four bases in one game for the Red Sox?
5. As frontrunnerish as it sounds, I really, really like Sandy Madera.

I'll be back at the park Thursday, maybe Wednesday night? WHY DID I NOT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO TONIGHT? WE ALWAYS GO OUT ON CINCO DE MAYO!!! NOT COOL, GUYS!

See you tomorrow.

Bartolo Colon will not start today.

Change of plans. Your starter tonight will be Charlie Zink, un lanzador muy especial. They're still having the Cinco de Mayo barbecue, though.

Pase buen dia! Hasta esta noche!

Carlos Baerga has press credentials.

Enjoy former Red Sox great Carlos Baerga interviewing Mike Lowell. They stopped taping right before the post-interview hug.

5.4.08 Pawtucket Red Sox @Syracuse Chiefs -

6-2 Pawtucket!

The mighty David Purcey started for Syracuse... he's a really big kid. Purcey pitched six innings, giving up two runs on five hits. He also walked three and struck out five. So it was a pretty eventful six innings. Bubba Nelson and Mike Gosling split the seventh. Each guy gave up two runs. Mikel McDonald kept the spirit alive for the eighth and ninth inning and allowed no further Red Sox to score.

Mike Tejera was the ENEMY. Tejera pitched deep into the sixth inning, allowing one earned run on four hits. He walked one, struck out one, and gave up a home run to Buck Coats, who will be appearing at the Grand Ole Opry through Memorial Day Weekend.

Chris Smith was a reliever once again, pitching 1 1/3 innings and gave up the second run. Abe Alvarez pitched a perfect eighth and Eric Hull kept the Chiefs from scoring in the ninth.

SYRACUSE SCORED TWO RUNS: Buck Coats' solo home run off Tejera, and Sergio Santos' RBI double in the seventh. Curtis Thigpen and Hector Luna also doubled.

The PawSox had 13 hits! Bailey went 3-4 with a home run, two RBI, and a walk. Chad Spann batted a runner in! He also struck out twice and grounded into two double plays.

you stood and you watched as the PawSox left town:
1. Chiefs catcher Robinzon Diaz was on crutches with his ankle all taped up, thanks to his collision with Dusty Brown yesterday. Eric Kratz was called up from double-A Manchester. Eric Kratz is... you know what, it doesn't matter.
2. This could be it for Syracuse being the Blue Jays' AAA franchise. Buffalo's a possibility, since Cleveland's calling it quits with them. There should be plenty of affiliation changes in 2009.
3. Belated note on Chip Cannon: He was the Manchester Fisher Cats' all-time home run leader with 51.
4. Enormous pitcher David Purcey leads the IL in strikeouts with 39.

The Pawtucket Red Sox are finally coming home. We've got Alex Cora and Sean Casey coming up this week, so dig it. We all have a lot of work to do.

scrub in an elevator

The hotel I stayed at in Buffalo had us on the 15th floor. The top. I had to use a special card in the elevator to get up there. Not in a VIP way. More like a 'that's all we got' way.

At any rate, Saturday before the game I was headed down to the street level to get a paper and guess who gets on the elevator? George Kottaras (shown here using Mike Lowell's oxygen). Just me and him. Of all people!

I didn't necessarily need it to be Mike Lowell or anything, but if it had to be someone... why not someone cool like Joe Thurston or Abe Alvarez? I was really tempted to mutter, "You suck" or "Brownie's better" but I AM a lady.

So I said nothing. It was pretty funny. GK walked off to the park by himself. They don't make catchers like they used to.

cinco de mayo con Colon

The Pawtucket Red Sox are having an all-you-can-eat BBQ on May 5th. Bartolo Colon is expected to pitch. Colon speaks Spanish, but he is not Mexican.

Along with the usual ballpark crap, you can get fajitas, rice and beans, and chips and salsa. It's $25 per person, 10 person minimum. Hurry up, there's almost no time left!

PS: If we're really lucky, Lincoln Holdzkom and Edgar Martinez will fail to hold an 8 run lead during the game.

5.3.08 Red Sox @ Chiefs (TOR) - they'd make great pets

Syracuse wins again, 8-5.

David Pauley was a mess, giving up four runs in the third, then three more in the fifth without recording an out. He hit poor Jorge Velandia after Joe Inglett tripled and got Sergio S. home. So yeah, it went single, triple, HBP, coaching visit, single, walk... EXTRACTION! DP is replaced by Edgar Martinez.

Martinez pitched two scoreless innings with one strikeout. Lefty Jon Switzer entered and gave up the eighth run, then Bryan Corey pitched a scoreless inning and a third.

Syracuse starter and aching lefty John Parrish pitched 6 1/3, giving up four runs on seven hits. He struck out Kottaras and Madera. Amongst the game's relievers were Jo Matumoto and Jordan De Jong.

XBH for Pawtucket: three doubles between Bailey and Velazquez. Sean Danielson was picked off after he walked in his first at-bat, but later on stole second when he reached on a fielder's choice. Danielson did not record a hit in his first AAA game.

ORANGE POWER! Russ Adams hit a three-run homer off Pauley. Jorge Velandia had a solo shot off Switzer. And then there's that Joe Inglett triple.

you sly son-of-a-bitch, Chief:
1. Joe Inglett was up in Toronto having a great time (okay, probably an awkward time) until Adam Lind came off the DL. He joined Syracuse on April 28th and is batting .404 in 13 games. Inglett has probably been to Pawtucket more often than I have.
2. Sean Danielson! Danielson was a PTBNL from the Cards' org when the Joel Pineiro thing went down. He's been in Portland and aging rapidly. He is also shorter than Dustin Pedroia. So he's been transferred to Pawtucket. I don't think I understand. I was hoping for a Corsaletti summer.
3. "Mark" had this to say: "I’ll tell you as a guy that has played next to Sean Danielson, you want him in your dugout. He is one of the scrappiest guys i’ve ever met, knows no speed but full speed (and thats FAST). Undersized but will not quick working till he achieves what he wants"
I recommend a click on that link to read Danielson's RAVE reviews.

Last game v. Chiefs tomorrow. Then homecoming. I WILL be at the park. Come say hello! I miss you guys!

Oh, damn, they could have tied it.

Syracuse wins 4-3 and I wish I'd gone to this exciting game.

The score was 4-2, top of the ninth. Tracy Thorpe pitching for Syracuse. Hits leadoff guy Keith Ginter. Then he walks Dusty Brown. THEN he walks Van Every. Bases loaded!

Gil Velazquez strikes out, Jeff Bailey lines out. Joe Thurston, base hit to center! Ginter scores! Here comes Dusty Brown!

DUSTY BROWN CRASHES INTO ROBINZON DIAZ!!! AND HE IS OUT!! Diaz is hurt in the collision and must be carried off the field. The Chiefs are vowing revenge...

Don't talk to Bryan Pritz for any length of time.

PawSox outfielder Bryan Pritz and Cleveland Indians minor leaguer Randy Newsom have this company called Real Sports Investments.

What happens is you give these minor league baseball players money (or "invest" in them) and then when or if they get to the major leagues, you get a percentage of that income.

"Typical" payment is between $25,000-$100,000.

The players use that money for... Lasik eye surgery? A personal trainer? The family? Yeah.

Yeah.

May 1 v. Syracuse Chiefs

Red Sox win, 9-3.

Devern Hansack once again failed to go deep, but pitched okay. In 4 2/3 innings, Hansack gave up two runs on six hits, walked one and struck out five. Tah-DAH! Abe Alvarez finished off the fifth and tackled the sixth inning... and even a little bit of the seventh. Alvarez gave up three hits and a couple of walks and ultimately got the win.

Eric Hull, Jon Switzer, and Bryan Corey all got some work in as well. Hull gave up the third run.

Kane Davis started for Syracuse! YEAH! Davis pitched into the seventh inning and was responsible for five runs. Davis struck out seven guys on the PawSox before he clocked out for reliever Jordan De Jong. I may have seen De Jong pitch once or twice. Lefty Mike Gosling came in for the eighth when JDJ got into some hot water. Mikel? McDonald pitched the ninth inning. Yeah, Mikel. I'm confused because his player page is labeled "Mikel McDonald" but his full name is allegedly "Michael P. McDonald". Hey, Mikel? Why should you change? HE'S the one that sucks! Whatever. He's from Maine so I guess that explains it.

Oh, yeah, the batters. Full-grown men Sandy Madera and Jeff Bailey each homered (Madera with a runner on, Bailey all by hisself). Madera and Bailey (along with catcher du jour Kottaras) also doubled! They're a lot like twins. Bailey and Kottaras went 3-5. Joe Thurston went 4-5 and stole a base. And got caught stealing.

Chad Spann went 0-4 with an error and a strikeout. I'm going to start a rumor that he is a vampire and hand out wooden stakes at the box office.

For Syracuse, swarthy switch-hitting sex bomb Wayne Lydon doubled, as did the mysterious Pedro Lopez. Hector Luna hit a triple off Bryan Corey.

Syracuse... better than Rochester?
1. I talk about Jeff Bailey endlessly but hardly ever mention Keith Ginter. But Bailey's 9th in the International League for batting (average) and in 7 games is 13-for-29 (.448) with 2 walks for a .484 OBP. Those seven games would be his leading off games.
2. So here's something about neglected infielder Keith Ginter: His favorite actor is Adam Sandler. Hey, professional baseball players? Could you try a little harder to have interchangeable personalities?
3. Mike Lowell bought the Pawtucket Red Sox a complete spread of ribs from a tacky off-ramp rib chain when he was at McCoy. RIBS?
4. Sandy Madera grew up with David Ortiz? Small world!
5. Do you know Chiefs pitcher Kane Davis? You might, Rabbit, you might. Davis is 32 years old, has been playing pro ball for 16 seasons, and Syracuse is the 22nd team he's pitched for.
Nice Kane Davis photo here.

Okay, see you later on.

Hang on Corey, Corey hang on.

Bryan Corey is back. If you really want to make me mad, just spell his name as "Brian", like Curt Schilling did on his blog. Curt Schilling is both a great pitcher and an asshole. Isn't it funny how you can love a player's performance but also find him douchey?

Lee Gronkiewicz Superstar is on the 7-day with elbow soreness, per pawsox.com. Damn it! He's really important to Pawtucket!

Uhhh... Bartolo Colon's still not ready after his car crash. Jeff Natale's still all messed up with his arm fracture. Bobby Kielty's got "hand soreness". That's so vague. It's like, "My foot hurts! Can I go to the nurse?"

May is here and I can't wait to see how these stories unfold.

4.30.08 Pawtucket. Rochester. Frontier Field. EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!

Final score: 4-2 Pawtucket.

Charlie Zink continues to kick ass for the PawSox. Golf Boy pitched six two-run (one earned) innings with two walks and two K's. The crazy part is Chris Smith coming in as his reliever, handling the last three innings with only one hit and four strikeouts. Chris Smith with authoritah! And Pawtucket only uses two pitchers in one nine-inning game? Wacky!

Very exciting Twins pitcher Francisco Liriano started for Rochester and panicked Minnesotans cried out, "Oh, gosh!" Liriano walked five batters in 4 1/3 innings. It's okay, though: he only gave up four runs on five hits. He's working his way back! He had three strikeouts, right? (Bailey, Kottaras, and Spann.)

And the thing is... his first inning was uno, dos, tres with a strikeout, a flyout, and a groundout. So at first everyone must have been optimistic. And then he goes and throws 94 pitches in under five innings.

Relief pitching ensued. William Domingos Barrett (not an actual American poet) finished off the fifth for Francisco and then got a couple more outs. Barrett goes by "Ricky" for some reason. The willowy and mysterious Mariano Gomez pitched a little bit, followed by Julio DePaula.

Jeff Bailey continues to be all comfy in the leadoff spot, homering off FL in the third. Hey, you're not supposed to do that, kid! Just get on base! Bailey also struck out twice. Not good.

Joe Thurston doubled. I love JT. Sandy Madera ended his hitting streak, going 0-3 with a couple of walks and a run. Not bad.

Chad Spann got his second RBI of the season. Damn, the kid's RED HOT! Spann has now struck out 19 times and walked TWICE. This is unacceptable. If you are going to keep him in the lineup, he should be batting ninth. Period. Van Every's probably so bitter.

The Red Wings had a few scattered hits and stole three bases on Zink's watch. Dusty Brown? Hm. In 13 games, runners have stolen 12 bases on Dusty B. In 14 games, runners have stolen 9 on Kottaras. Brown's nailed 4, GK's nabbed 3. It's only April and this is all meaningless, but I will keep an eye on things. The difference is negligible right now.

!
1. It snowed a little during the first inning in the Flower City. I'll bet it was so pretty on the players' eyelashes. Aw.
2. Bailey's home run was cheap... the wind carried it out.
3. Red Wings roster guy Jon Knott got sold to the Phillies after the game. It's fun when he plays because you can say "Jon... Knott gonna get on base. Jon... Knott gonna move the runner over." They also released airhead catcher Eli Whiteside for Ryan Jorgenson, who's being serving a 50-game drug suspension.
4. Check out the Providence Journal story on CZ here.
5. Former Liriano teammate Gil Velazquez had this to say: "He definitely doesn't have his fastball like he used to. That's what sets up all his pitchers(SIC). He was throwing 96-97 when I played with him, and his slider was 91, 92. He had filthy stuff, and he doesn't have that anymore. I never felt he could beat me with his fastball." Thanks, Gil! Wait 'til I tell the guys in marketing!


The PawSox open up a four-game series v. Syracuse TONIGHT at 7. YES. The struggling Devern "Denver" Hansack will face righty Kane Davis. Who?