Lame Cuisine

The Pawtucket Annual Welcome Home Banquet was held today in the same bland, uninspired venue as always. People pay money to join this country club?

And this is the crap you're serving?

AND you hold off on coffee service until AFTER dessert is served and the whole event is practically over and SOME people get piping hot coffee and others are screwed? How were we supposed to choke down the crappy, dry-ass strawberry shortcake?

I sat next to Devern Hansack and Clay Buchholz. I love Hansack so much.

Clay Buchholz was the hands-down superstar of the day. I won't say a thing about his weird, clingy girlfriend. Except all the other guys on the team must roll their eyes when she's around. At any rate, he seemed pretty chipper in spite of his kinda-demotion. This was not the case with miserable, sulking Jeff Bailey.

Daniel Bard was at the next table over. My sister rather awesomely pointed out that he looks like Napoleon Dynamite real bad. When he started smearing on the chapstick, we fell about the place. Dang! (Also: Nice... cowboy boots.)

All in all, RJ is still terrific, Hoard and Hyder YES, Sandy! Madera, Danielson and Velazquez, all the kids, good stuff. Billy Traber=douche.

And, sure, I'll say it: Fernando Cabrera? Ummmm. Yeah. I'm looking forward to Cabrera showcasing his... talent.

TOMORROW!!!!