2009 Pawtucket Red Sox Uniform Numbers

2 - Gil Velazquez, Smartass Infielder.

3 - Sean Danielson, outfield. Small Man with Big Arm.

5 - Chris Carter, hitter.

5 - Rocco Baldelli, rehabbing outfielder. I love Rocco Baldelli, but I think asking Chris Carter for his uniform number during MINOR LEAGUE REHAB is tacky. I hope he gave Carter a 'gift'. When I say 'gift', I might mean money or I might mean something more sinister and/or dirty.

7 - Jeff Bailey, competent first base/left field type. Will probably outlive all of us.

10 - Jeff Natale, power threat from either side of the plate. Or puckish infielder who'll take one for the team.

11 - Jeff Corsaletti - Heterosexual outfielder who was not really good at anything. I loved him in Portland but he was not fun to be around at McCoy Stadium. He's gone now.

11 - John Otness, catcher. He wears the ones better.

11 - Mark Wagner, current catcher.

12 - Ivan Ochoa, shortstop type. One of three numbers Ochoa's worn this year. I don't want to demean or belittle Ochoa, but he is freaking adorable.

12 - Jed Lowrie, rehabbing shortstop. Has forgotten his roots as well.

13 - Rich Sauveur, pitching coach.

15 - Dusty Brown, catcher. I have nothing bad to say about Brown. I might not even have anything good to say about Brown. In baseball, this means he's an asset to the team.

16 - Charlie Zink, starting pitcher.

17 - Jonathan Van Every, center field.

18 - Ivan Ochoa again. One-third of the Venezuelan Triumvirate. Had major league time with the Giants last year.

19 - Clay Buchholz, starting pitcher, superstar. We've been very lucky to have him in Pawtucket.

19 - Devern Hansack, who had better get his number back when he returns. CLAY.

20 - Jose Vaquedano, merciless right-handed reliever who brings it down low on the mound. Maybe on the dance floor, too. Vaquedano's been refrigerator material this year. He's from Honduras!

21 - Manager Ron Johnson. He's big! He's loud! He's gregarious and loquacious and charming and funny! And at times, he speaks in well-groomed company lines filtered through Texas folksiness. I love him and so do you.

22 - Angel Chavez, third base. He's a killer over there and so much fun to watch. Best third baseman I've seen in Pawtucket, including Boggs. Oh, SNAP!

23 - Iggy Suarez, infielder. Shortstop, mostly. Back in Portland being cool and from New York.

23 - Ivan Ochoa, way back in April.

24 - Iggy Suarez again. Iggers iz crazy, baby.

24 - John Otness, occasionally.

25 - Kris Johnson, lefty starter. He thinks he's gangsta.

26 - Chip Ambres, right field. Slugger. Now with Mets org.

26 - Bubba Bell, center field. Or right, whatever. I'd say his act is getting tired but maybe he's just in a bad slump.

28 - Clay Buchholz. Buchholz wore this number early in the season.

28 - Freddy Guzman, center field. Guzman is wicked fast and plays with zeal.

29 - John Smoltz, All-Star rehabber.

30 - Michael Bowden, RH starter. I had higher expectations for Bowden.

31 - Daniel Bard, former Pawtucket closer. Whatever happened to him?

32 - Chris George, lefty reliever. I hope he had fun.

33 - Zach Daeges, large right fielder. I wish he would come back soon.

33 - Aaron Bates, large first baseman. I'm not saying I'm glad Bailey got hurt, but it was so cool to see Bates get called up.

34 - Paul McAnulty, 1B/DH/LF.

35 - Rocky Cherry, dependable reliever.

36 - Travis Denker, second base. Denker wore 36 while Hunter Jones was in Boston.

36 - Hunter Jones, handsome lefty reliever. Seems to have ditched the rec-specs.

37 - Marcus McBeth, otherworldly right-handed reliever.

38 - Fernando Cabrera, dreamy closer. And he is so nice to the fans, it kills me. A very, very good boy.

39 - Travis Denker, former Giants kid.

39 - Robert Coello, reliever. Trying to come back, I think.

40 - Billy Traber, weirdo lefty reliever.

41 - Randor Bierd, hulking reliever. He's a loner but maybe not a rebel.

43 - Sandy Madera, former catcher. I loved Madera as if he were my son. SHANE, COME BACK!

45 - Russ Morman, hitting coach.

47 - Javier Lopez, former Braves catcher.

48 - Carlos Maldonado, catcher. I love him to bits. Also on Team Venezuela.

50 - Enrique Gonzalez, starter. Why not 49, Gonzalez? Gonzalez and Maldonado are practically siamese twins... you never see them not together. BOLIVAR, VZ!

There you have it. The PawSox.