8.30.09 Game 2 of the Scranton Double Header

6-1 Yankees. Not necessarily the offense's fault this time.

Charlie Zink only pitched 4 1/3 innings. Oddly enough, Zink kept Scranton scoreless through four innings. He walked four batters, but that's par for the course.

Hunter Jones took over in the fifth inning with runners on second and third. Jones faced Juan Miranda, who sac flied to get Cody Ransom home from third. Jones then intentionally walked Yurendell DeCaster (Why not IBB Miranda? He's the deadly Mash Monster!) to face Colin Curtis and get the third out.

Hunter Jones continued his streak of dominance in the sixth inning when John Rodriguez led the inning off with a triple to left. Chris Stewart then grounded out, and Jones intentionally walked Kevin Russo, who was probably really flattered! Ramiro Pena then singled and RJ took Hunter Jones out of the game. I'm sure Jones handled everything with quiet dignity and grace.

Enrique Gonzalez entered the game and... you know what, fuck it. Shit pitching plus no offense plus two errors equals the worst slop of minor league baseball. Pass me the cheese fries and the domestic beer.

look at her now. she's starting to yawn:
1. Chris Woodward... holy crap. Woodward went 0-3, left runners in scoring position, and made two errors.
2. Bates and Denker each doubled. Dusty Brown was responsible for the sole RBI in the seventh inning, when he batted Chris ChrisCarterson in from third base. Boy, I'll bet the Red Sox fans in the crowd were hoping for a rally!
3. Josh Reddick made an outfield assist, which reminds me of Sean Danielson and his very exciting assisting outfield arm. Sean Danielson probably has swine flu or something. May I ask why the hell he's been kept around so long? Because he's the best at coaching first base? Baseball is so cruel.
4. Shelley Duncan had 4 RBI in this game. I can't hate Juan Miranda too much, even though he destroys Pawtucket pitching. But Duncan? AAAAARRGGGGHHHHH!!!!! One of these days I'm going to cut him into little pieces!
5. Hunter Jones has changed, man. He really has. In every way.
6. Righty Jason Hirsh got the win for the Yankees. He got five strikeouts in five-ish innings. He is also freaking huge - 6'8" and 250 lbs. Hirsh is a new Yankee acquisition from the Rockies. Yankees fans do not really care about him. I, for one, love him like crazy.
7. 71-35. That's Zink's pitches-strikes yesterday. And his walk total for the year? 92. Number one in the IL! Zink is creaming the competition. Wade Davis is a distant second with 59.

Tonight! The Iron Pigs for the 99th time! I would be less annoyed if Val Pascucci was on the team. That guy was the MAN!

MIRANDA!!!!

The Red Sox. The Yankees. The Gathright.

Red Sox WIN! 5-3 in seven innings. Game one of a double header.

Your glorious and smiling starting pitcher would be Mister Randor Bierd, so lush and handsome, if a bit of a dandy. Bierd pitched five and a third and only gave up two runs to the Yankees. One of them was a solo home run by Shelley Duncan, who's ferociously homely but the lad can hit.

Javier Lopez finished off the sixth inning for Bierd. It was perfect. Fernando Cabrera stepped in to close it out, but not before giving up a couple of hits... well, the Yurendell deCaster solo home run. The other hit was catcher Francisco Cervelli being an annoying shithead and bunting. Which name do you like better? Fernando or Francisco? They're both pretty happening.

I like the name 'Javier' myself. Very roguish. Although Yurendell... hmmm...

Whoa, I'm back. JOEY GATHRIGHT IS ON THE PAWTUCKET RED SOX!!! You don't know what this does to me. Gathright got a hit and a run. It all started in the first inning (first inning... first inning... first inning)...

... A Sunday afternoon. It was a warmish day in Moosic, PA, 73 degrees and partly cloudy. The anthem played, the home team took the field, and the big baddies from Back East sent youngster Josh Reddick to the plate. Red flew out to center, but the Yankees weren't counting on seeing Joey Gathright! "Now batting for the Paw-tucket Red Sox... number 25... Joey Gathright..."

"Gathright?", the crowd was heard whispering... yes, Gathright. Who singled off Ivan Nova to kick it all off. Then Lowrie drew a walk. Two men on for Chris Carter... and a line drive to left! Gathright runs! Crushes third base, heads home full-bore! Crosses the plate... SAFE! 1-0 Pawtucket!

Jeff Bailey hit an RBI single and Mark Wagner, who also had a big night, doubled in the third Red Sox run. 3-0 Pawtucket.
horny patty:
1. So then Josh Reddick sac flied Angel Chavez home in the second. And Reddick tripled in the fourth, bringing Chavez home from first. They make a good team, those guys.
2. Ivan Nova! Can you believe it? Life is just a fantasy, man!
3. Do you like Josh Reddick batting leadoff? Yes, you do.
4. Hey... if loving Joey Gathright is wrong, then... then I'd better re-assess my attachment disorder and cordon off my feelings until the numbness sets in.

Is that good enough? I think so!

pm snap: Alex Cora on deck 2008.

8.29.09 Pawtucket @ Scranton Wilkes Barre Yankees

3-0 Scrankees, Pawtucket shut out again. If there is an older story this year, I do not know what it is. Maybe the grocery shrink ray.

Josh Towers pitched six shutout innings, Mark Melancon pitched two shutout innings, and Jonathan Albaladejo closed it out perfectly. Albaladejo pitched to Carter, Brian Anderson, and Bubba Bell.

Have you ever seen Albaladejo? Let's just say his physique is questionable. He has boobs, is what I'm saying. But Yankees fans love him and what am I doing with my life anyway? At least his job is playing baseball and he probably has fun like, every day. Meanwhile I have 130,000 miles on my car and I eat peanut butter sandwiches for breakfast.

Billy Traber started for Pawtucket. Traber gave up nine hits and three walks during his five inning stint, but only three runs. That was enough, though. I'll bet Traber had some good D behind him.

Dustin Richardson and Fernando Cabrera teamed up to provide excellent scoreless relief. Richardson struck out three batters during his two innings.

Yup.

i don't care much for that. i don't know why.
1. Chris Carter led the team in hits, with two singles. This makes me want to cry.
2. Jeff Bailey went 0-4 with 2 K's. THANKS A LOT, NOW CAN YOU PLEASE PLAY FOR ANOTHER FRANCHISE?
3. Kevin "Frank J" Russo hit a solo home run for the Yankees.
4. Jose Vaquedano went on the DL. Finally.
5. Aaron Bates sat out again and Bailey played first. What ails you, Batesy?
6. Angel Chavez is suddenly batting .249. Because I said, hey, here's your chance to get called up.
7. Typical SWB bastards Juan Miranda and Shelly Duncan each doubled. Actually, everyone in the lineup had at least one hit. Except John Rodriguez, probably because he's a sinner.
8. Josh Towers was just player of the week, along with Mike Hessman. HESSMANIA!!!
9. Rain ruins baseball.

Tomorrow! Maybe Paul Byrd, maybe Charlie Zink. Maybe fuck yourself.

Pawtucket Red Sox September Call-ups

Game rained out last night. Here are my predictions for September call-ups.

1. Jeff Bailey
2. Josh Reddick
3. Angel Chavez
4. Marcus McBeth
5. Fernando Cabrera

I'm pretty sure Bailey is a given, but imagine if they didn't call him up? PSYCHOBILLY FREAKOUT!

Josh Reddick, yeah, that's easy.

Angel Chavez may be a bit of wishful thinking, since they'll likely call up Woodward. But Woodward... I mean, can this guy hit at all? Because he hasn't done it in Pawtucket.

Marcus McBeth and Cabrera for obvious reasons. I thought about Javier Lopez, but probably not. For a lefty, I think it would have to be Billy Traber. Not Hunter Jones. Jones probably thinks he has has it in the bag.

If they decide to grab a catcher, then Dusty Brown. Should have been MALDONADO!!! but they missed their chance.

Last night's game, moron.

a) Thanks and a tip of the lynch lid to the anon BBQ tent fan who did not allow Jesus Feliciano access to a foul ball that could have been the third out! Instead, the fan caught the ball and the rally continued. I saw Felicicano. He was all mad. But the fan did not interfere with the field of play so EAT IT.

b) Plus Feliciano is tied for highest number of hits in the IL with Barbaro Canizares. And here I am constantly thinking of him as 'Jose'. And he's the KING!

c) By the way, I was pretty much right about Chris Carter being traded. Even though I though I had bad information. I should probably not have deleted my post, but I was upset. It had caused me to rend my garment. Especially because I blabbed it all over the place.

But I was right, and I knew before everyone else, which is really the most important thing.

8.27.09 The Buffalo Bisons are fortunately worse than Pawtucket.

Pawtucket W-I-N-S 7-1 in an honest-to-goodness good baseball game. It wasn't the highish run total, either. It might have been the outfield porn on Pawtucket's behalf.

Adam Mills was great! 83 pitches through seven innings. One run on five hits (Javier Castillo's solo home run)! No walks and two strikeouts! AMERICA'S CUP, YEAH!

TJ Large pitched the eighth inning and I do not remember any of that. It was clean, real clean. Like my conscience. Javier Lopez went 1-2-3 in the ninth, but he had a six run lead. I am not impressed. Okay, maybe a little impressed.

Pawtucket scored five runs in the bottom of the seventh. Firstly, Reddick popped out and Bell walked. And Mark Wagner popped out. Bailey pinch hits for Kottaras to face the lefty Arturo Lopez. Bailey hits a cheapish single. Bell over to second. Anderson up and he walks to load the bases!

Jim Ed Warden comes in and he's very tall. His name sounds serial killerish but he's not very tough at all. Warden somehow walks the hopeless Aaron Bates, which brings Bell home from third. And then... hang on...okay, Travis Denker TRIPLED! And everyone ran home! Three more runs! It was astonishing.

Chris Woodward batted next and Warden's pitch came in on him a little and the ump issued a warning to both teams. Woodward walked. Chavez batted next and Warden threw a wild pitch, scoring Denker from third. And then, Chavez grounded out to end the inning. 7-1 Red Sox!

Large and Lopez held the lead down for the rest of the game. Large and Lopez sounds like a cheesy local morning talk show.

Kyle Snyder started for Buffalo and took the loss on account of the pair of runs Pawtucket scored off him. Snyder is made of rubber, I think. He threw 104 pitches in five innings and seemed displeased with his start. And maybe a little displeased with his fielders.

dan fielding:
1. I am not much of a Bubba Bell fan. But Bubba Bell made a pair of cuckoo plays in right that made lesser fans stand up and shout. So... good job, Bubba Bell. I hope somewhere you're happy. I also hope you get released.
2. But Josh Reddick... Reddick made possibly the greatest diving outfield catch I've ever seen at McCoy. Sixth inning, one out, shortstop Andy Green at the plate. And Green drives one out to left center! Reddick fucking LEAPS to his left, I mean, the kid is PARALLEL to the ground! And he snapped that ball up!! The crown went nutso, people were standing up and cheering!
I would try to re-enact this for you if I had any hope of doing it justice. But you would just laugh and laugh. I hope someone somewhere recorded it... I hope someone aside from me writes about it. I love you, Josh Reddick!
3. I saw Baby Daddy Fernando Cabrera tonight, so he's back. Zink was in the bullpen again, because you totally want a reliever who walks half the park. Of course, he could be in charge of the marijuana plants.
4. Tomato plants, I mean.
5. Chris Woodward's at-bat song is "Would?" by Alice in Chains. I hope it's not because his last name is WOOD/WOULD-ward.
6. I was supposed to attend this game with three other people. In the end, it was only me. Thanks a lot, three other people who almost ruined my night.
7. Dude! Have you seen Mark Wagner's weird hair? He totally has the 'Bert' from Sesame Street top-tuft thing. Come on, Mark Wagner.
8. Travis Denker went 3-4 with a double and that three-run triple. So it was Travis Night.
9. I noticed that when Bailey came in for Kottaras, the PA guy announced Kottaras as the batter. The ump, Fran Burke, turned and faced the press box area and waved his arms and pointed at Bailey. The correction was made immediately.

Tomorrow! Pawtucket hits the road. Final road trip of 2009. Last chance to really bond. One last chance to rage. Go to it!

i'm gonna kill myself because of you

My great grandmother was a California woman. She was visiting her son, my grandfather, at his home in Shreveport.

She drowned herself in his swimming pool. Was it an accident? I mean, she was in her 80's!

No, she left a suicide note. The last line of her note said "I hope the Dodgers win the Series".

Wow! Baseball runs in my family! And suicide, maybe. Also: It has to be a huge inconvenience to have your mother visiting you and she decides to kill herself at YOUR house! Like, she couldn't go home and take care of it? What a weird lady.

Point: Happy Birthday to Father. And Charlie Zink, I guess.

edit: She drowned herself a long time ago, like before I was born. Sorry if this was unclear.

8.26.09 Pawtucket Red Sox v Buffalo Bison(s)

Pawtucket... wins? 3-2? What just happened because I was at the park and the game was tied and then suddenly everyone was getting their coats and heading for the exits and I was left standing there with an empty glass, blinking at the bright lights in which everyone was suddenly ugly?

Confession: I have not been much of a student of the game lately, as I've been going to the park with misc. folks and drinking beer until I run out of money. You know how it goes: Kick things off with premium beer and wrap it up with domestic light beer because you stop caring as much.

But what happened is this: Michael Bowden and his bully face and power physique pitched well enough to win. Bowden threw 93 pitches through six innings. Bowden gave up four walks. Bowden is 11th in the International League for walks. Right behind Enrique Gonzalez who is in tenth place. Yet Bowden's WHIP is top ten, in the good way! So Bowden walks a lot of guys but he pitches a lot of innings. He makes a lot of money, but he spends a lot of money, too.

Bowden gave up both Buffalo runs. Josh Peterson hit an RBI single in the second inning after catcher Robinson Cancel hit a double and then Cancel goes and triples in the sixth inning (what a beast!) and Andy Green has a productive groundout, scoring Cancel.

And here's a weird story: Hunter Jones came into the game and I was pissed. But Jones pitched three scoreless innings of relief. Remarkable. And although the score was tied going into the bottom of the ninth, and everything was dark and dire, Pawtucket.. well, Josh Reddick... did something right and drove in Angel Chavez from second. WALKOFF SINGLE!!! It happened so quickly! I felt bad for drunk people with slow reflexes, because they must have been wondering how the game ended so suddenly.

Buffalo starter Tobi Stoner had a pretty solid six-inning, one-run start. He can blame his reliever Eddie Kunz for blowing it in the ninth.

And O what a beautiful sunset I saw from section 3.

I got a taste of the real world (just a drop of it):
1. Angel Chavez was muy macho last night. Chavez went 3-4 with a double and was damn charming about it.
2. Chris Woodward went 0-4 with a K. Woodward has done, um, nothing since he's come to Pawtucket. I'm pretty sure he doesn't care about me or my feelings.
3. I saw Chris Carter in the dugout, so I guess he's not dead yet. I did not see Fernando Cabrera at all. And trust me, I looked for him. I also saw Bob Tewksbury. And your mama.
4. Jed Lowrie left the game after one at-bat.
5. Charlie Zink was in the bullpen and I'm pretty sure I saw him warming up at one point.
6. Dusty Brown hit an RBI single in the fourth to score the Red Sox' first run. Gil Velazquez sac flied Brown home in the seventh for run number two. And then Josh Reddick did his thing to win the game.

I'll be at the park tonight, either surrounded by invisible, protective angels or surrounded by people who bought tickets and probably like peanuts.

8.25.09 Pawtucket v Lehigh Valley (Allentown)

Iron Pigs win in extra innings, 8-5. They scored three runs in the top of the 12th and the last time Pawtucket scored three runs in one inning... gosh, it must have been 2008! BUSH ADMINISTRATION! Was there anything that guy COULDN'T do?

Randor Bierd finally fell off the pedestal I put him on... yes, I put him there, not you or anyone else. Bierd gave up five runs on eight hits in his little baby five inning start.

Rodrigo Lopez started for Lehigh Valley and, man, I am really sorry I missed that. Lopez is a legend if you were ever a Boston fan.

Jose Vaquedano ruined everyone's dreams when he blew it all over the place in the 12th. What is with him lately? I really wish he would return to his early season form. I'd sure like to return to HIS form, if you know what I'm saying!!!

Jed Lowrie hit two home runs, but is it really worth bragging about when noodle batter Aaron Bates also hit a home run? And Jeff Bailey with his bum ankle homered as well? In a related story, I am not a Jed Lowrie fan this year.

JJ Furmaniak and Rich Thompson each homered for the I-Pigs.

One thing:
1. Many people have heard of Allentown. Not many people have heard of Lehigh Valley. I really think that when the Red Barons left S/W-B, they though people would associate Allentown with unemployment and urban decay. At least, anyone who's heard the Billy Joel song would have.

Maybe they should have embraced that and built a real rusty I-beam ballpark, with cranes hoisting clumps of scrap iron behind the outfield fence and beer vendors wearing chambray shirts and hard hats. Imagine the Schlitziness! INDUSTRY!

Tonight: Me! Girls' night out at McCoy. When you read the book I am going to write someday, it will change your life.

late nite snap: Jeff Bailey and Gil Velazquez adhere to Mike Jones' pre-game warmups.

Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs @ Pawtucket Red Sox (CHOPCHOPCHOP)

Red Sox WIN! 3-2! Paul Byrd is looking great for a geezer!

Someone on the second floor of the building next to mine has a broken window fan that they leave on forever. I suspect they are stone deaf, since I can barely handle the steady, LOUD, "CHOPCHOPCHOPCHOPCHOP" sound floating in through my open window. I should just buy them a fan and leave it on their doorstep.

Paul Byrd got the start for the Red Sox and I think he should have been on this team from day one. Seven innings from a Pawtucket starter was the sole domain of The Redneck Asshole. Seven innings, like Devern Hansack used to do. Hansack IS still alive, right? RIGHT?

Byrd's only mistake was a John Mayberry solo home run. Mayberry's a star, though, so it's okay. Hunter Jones came in afterward and gave up a solo home run in the ninth to tie the game.

But that was okay, too, because in the ninth, Velazquez singled and Lowrie and Reddick walked. Bailey flew out to right and Gil Velazquez ran home. 3-2.

hello:
1. Second baseman Carlos Leon had only one at-bat, in spite of playing a full game. Leon sac bunted, grounded out (one at-bat), and, um, sac bunted. Carlos Leon just loves you and wants you to be happy. You have affected his life negatively in the following ways:
2. Mike Cervenak hit a solo home run. Jed Lowrie hit a solo home run.
3. Pawtucket left seven runners on base.
4. George Kottaras pinch hit for Woodward in the seventh. Velazquez played third for the rest of the game.
5. Aaron Bates was intentionally walked by Jake Woods in the eighth inning. To get Bubba Bell out. It worked, but dude. Bates is batting like .211. Are you really that chickenshit?

hello again:
1. Brian Mazone was a spot starter for Lehigh Valley. They play Pawtucket tomorrow night and then fly away, like pigs made of iron. Like lightweight iron.
2. I was at the park the other night for the extra inning game that the Red Sox lost. It was painful and degrading. I did notice that the relievers are growing tomato plants in the bullpen. I think TJ Large has a green thumb.

Tomorrow! Rodrigo Lopez (The former Orioles guy!) versus the awfully swell Randor Bierd. I think I love Randor Bierd. Hey, not the way you're thinking... I wanna have SEX with Randor Bierd!

CHOPCHOPCHOPCHOPCHOPCHOPCHOP!!!

8.21.09 Sweep? Not so fast, Red Wings!

Pawtucket actually won, thanks to Jose Vaquedano, Dustin Richardson, Javier Lopez, TJ Large, Josh Reddick, and Jeff Bailey. 2-1, we'll take it.

Wait... Dustin Richardson's been called up? A lefty? Can we throw Hunter Jones in the Trashco brand trash receptacle now?

Wait... they called up Michael Bowden? And Chris Duncan was released? Wow! I feel like Rip Van Winkle!

Wait... TJ WHO?!

Tim Wakefield started for the Red Sox, and even though I've seen him pitch eleventy times at Fenway, I sort of wanted to go see him tonight. Wake Field pitched into the sixth inning, got his pitch count up to 81, and left the premises. One run (solo home run by fatass Justin Huber), one walk, and four K's.

Vaquedano, Richardson, and Lopez each got a pair of outs and TJ Large polished the game off like a slice of chocolate cake. Yummy.

Pawtucket scored both its runs in the fifth inning. Reddick and Bailey each hit RBI singles. Bubba Bell could have kept it going, but he lined out because he sucks.

Reliever Juan Morillo took the loss for Rochester. Bye, Rochester!

underpantings:
1. Red Wings first baseman Brock Peterson had a hit and a walk. I think I saw Brock Peterson in a movie once. It was called 'Wicked Wicked Cowgirls'.
2. I saw Travis Denker's girlfriend the other day and I was speechless. Travis Denker is not wicked cute. His lady is a blonde bombshell. Completely incongruous. Anyway, Travis Denker was caught stealing in this game.
3. Fernando Cabrera will be back soon, as he was DFA'd. I guess you can't go to the park during that time. Why not? That's so dumb. What if he wants to work out and take a shower or something?
4. Bubba Bell totally fucking sucks.
5. 10,700 freaks came out to see TW pitch. Rick Medeiros secured the area. No one was getting near Wakefield with him around, pard.
6. This newspaper says "The release of Duncan coincided with Pawtucket's 10-game losing streak. Duncan was 0-for-1 as a pinch-hitter in a 5-3 loss to Rochester on Thursday." They may be onto something. As soon as they ditch Duncan, they break the losing streak.

I have no where else to go with this. Whenever some big star rehabs at McCoy, everyone else is overlooked. You would at least think someone would talk about Dustin Richardson's good, good work. But what do I know?

TJ LARGE!!!!

Baby Chris Carter is keeping it real.

"Marijuana? No, thank you! I'd rather go to heaven!"

I'm such a jerk.

So I heard that Chris Carter got traded and I blabbed it all over the place before really double-checking.

I deleted my post out of pure SHAME.

Of course, it could still happen and I could be way ahead of the game?

Point: Chris Carter is still here, limping around and being annoying. I should send him a bouquet. I always thought flowers was pretty.

Also: Not a story. (red sox lose again)

Pawtucket just lost their day game. I was going to go, but I slept really late. It's okay: Paul Byrd tonight! But Charlie Zink.... wow.

Charlie Zink: My Life with the Red Sox

Zink: Hey, guys. Luis Tiant sent me.

Red Sox: Okay, he said you were cool. have you ever been to maine?

(later)Zink: Lenny! Abe! kason! isn't this great? We're going to fenway!!!

(later) Zink: Here I go, over the bridge, ta-dah! Rhode island! Then back to Maine! then pawtucket! Oh no, tollbooth!

(later)Zink: new england is too cold! I am gonna quit and go to the national league!
Red Sox: Oh my gosh, no! Stay here! we love you! You're gonna be a big star at fenway!
Zink: O Okay.

(later)Zink: It sure is great to be hanging out at my apt with Pauley
Red Sox: ring ring Hello! can you come to boston right away?
Zink: FINALLY!

(later)Zink: wow, that was cool. Too bad I sucked. But I won the international league!!

(later)Zink: This sucks. I can't wait to play golf for the rest of my life.
Red Sox: see, we told you we had plans!

Wait until I see Kottaras. I'm going to run up to him and give him a chocolate gun.

Let's get some burritos.

Ivan Ochoa could use a ride to work.

Ivan Ochoa's been released. I may have last seen him at poster night. And so now we have Chris Woodward, who's probably second only to Jay Gibbons in the secret competition.

By the way: Sean Danielson's back on the DL. And they made him sign autographs on poster night! I couldn't believe it. I would have said, screw you, I've played in six games all year.

By the way, Fernando Cabrera did not peg Kinsler on purpose. Cabrera is a mild-mannered guy... a lover, not a fighter.

By the way, there are only about two weeks left of the season.

See you at the park tonight.

'F' is for 'Fighting', 'R' is for 'Red' (Wings and Sox)

Red Wings WIN! YEAH TWINS!!! 7-6.

Hey, it's Reid Santos! I know him! Santos got the start for Rochester and he totally outpitched lefty Kris Johnson. Kris Johnson was worse than usual, even, only pitching 2 2/3 innings and getting his pitch count up to 71. Only 45 of those pitches were strikes. Jolines.

So, yeah, Santos. Santos pitched five innings and gave up three runs, two earned. Then there was Juan Morillo, Sean Henn, Rob Delaney.

Pawtucket lost, is what I'm trying to say. On the plus side, Rochester had been crushed the night before so they recovered nicely. Even if it took ten innings.

So this is what it's like to be a Pirates fan? Huh. Nice curtains.

and then i feel nothing:
1. Sean Henn got a blown save and the win.
2. Vaquedano pitched two innings and gave up two home runs. If Vaquedano could return to his early season form, this team would start winning some ball games. KIDDING!
3. Enrique Gonzalez and Javier Lopez also pitched. Gonzalez would look a whole lot prettier if he smiled once in a while.
4. Aaron Bates hit his fourth Pawtucket home run of the season.

yOU WANT MORE? tOUGH.

8.17.09 Red Sox/Braves - Last Game of Series

3-2 Braves. Pawtucket swept in Georgia. Ever get the feeling you've been had?

I need to write a 5,000 word essay on the difference between Barbaro Canizaro and Andy Cannizares. I should not get these two confused yet I always do. I can't wait for one of them to leave the IL. In a body bag.

Adam Mills started for Pawtucket and performed much better than he did in "Charlotte". Mills gave up two runs in six innings but left the game with Pawtucket losing 2-1. McBeth pitched two innings of relief and was smacked with the loss after he gave up the third run to the Braves.

Jo-Jo(sephina) Reyes got the start for Gwinnett. Pawtucket got nine hits off Reyes but only scored two runs. Wagner, Bates, Bell, and Ochoa each left runners on base with two outs. Killjoys! They should form a little club.

dry:
1. Travis Denker hit a solo home run. It was his fifth home run of the season
2. Jeff Bailey went 0-4 and made an error in left. Jeff bailey did not get good grades in school, either.
3. New kid Reddick hit an RBI triple in the seventh.
4. The name "Van Pope" seems incomplete to me. I bet people wonder all the time what his first name is.
5. Ivan Ochoa was the last guy to bat for the Red Sox. Denker was on second base. It would have been cool if Ochoa pulled something off, but that's the story of the Pawtucket Red Sox.
6. Wes Timmons was in the middle of a 48-game on-base streak. It ended yesterday. I cried so hard for Wes Timmons last night. His life is so difficult. I'll bet he's constantly harassed by 5-0 for his tints.
7. I do not know what outfielder Brian Barton's hair looks like these days, but I will always picture him in dreads.

Tonight! Pawtucket's finally back from their southern road trip for a series with Rochester. Think about how many times I have fallen.

REDDICK!!!!

14 AUG 2009: Gwinnett County Braves, Georgia.

Red Sox lose, 7-6, but maybe took some steps in the right direction as far as making an offensive comeback. This probably has nothing to do with Jeff Bailey, no matter what your mom says.

Charlie Fucking Zink started and you know, they let Rocky Cherry go but they hang onto Zink. And now Enrique Gonzalez is in the bullpen. WHY IS ZINK STILL HANGING AROUND? It was another shit start by Zink, although he only walked one batter and struck out five.

TJ Large is the real man in this scenario. Large pitched three scoreless innings and just maybe could have gotten the win if Pawtucket had tried a little harder.

Pawtucket didn't score until the sixth inning. They were down 7-0 and Velazquez led the inning off with a single. Then Bailey singled... there were a couple of productive outs... and Carter hits an RBI single.

Nothing good happened in the seventh inning. In the eighth, Gil Velazquez once again led off with a single. I'm sure he felt really macho. Then Braves pitcher Kitty Carlyle balked twice in a row. Weird! I'll bet he was super-pissed about those balk calls, too. Pitchers never admit they're wrong. NO! THAT'S HOW I COME OUT OF THE STRETCH! I ALWAYS DO THAT!!! SUCK IT, UMP!!!

Anyway, Jeff Bailey was waiting patiently in the box while all this went down. When everyone finally settled down he doubled, scoring Velazquez (I may just refer to him as 'Gil' to save time). Then Chris Carter doubled, scoring Bailey. 7-3!

Skip ahead to the ninth. Another false Red Sox rally. You might call it heartbreaking. I might not, since I've seen it over and over and now my heart's like an iron boot. With one out, Travis Denker singles. But TD gets erased when Chavez reaches on a fielder's choice. Or Denker's forced out, whatev.

Then Gil walks! I can't believe it. New pitcher comes in for Bailey, Vladimir Nunez. Bailey homers. And now the score is 7-6.

Bases empty, Bubba Bell. Bell singles. LIFE. But Mark Wagner grounds out and ends the game.

All this and John Halama, too.

did we fly to the moon too soon?
1. One of the worst things in American history happened in the Atlanta area. I was horrified as a little girl, seeing those pictures of dead kids in Life magazine.
2. Pawtucket legend Juan Perez is still working! Perez pitched an inning for Gwinnett.
3. Angel Chavez made two errors in this game.
4. Jeff Bailey went 3-4 with 4 RBI. Show off.
5. Aaron Bates played left field. Bates has not really been hitting since he came to triple-A. It's weird how you can be young, strong, and athletic and yet unable to drive the ball. And then you have guys like Dustin Pedroia who just... get it. It's probably that mental thing that baseball players are always yammering about.
6. Home plate ump Robert Price was responsible for the subsequent balk calls. I would have thought David Uyl, but Uyl was in the infield doing his thug thizzle.
7. Brooks Conrad was the Braves offensive superstar.
8. John Halama thinks it would have been nice to pitch a shutout.

Tonight! Tim Wakefield. This back-to-back knuckleballer story is played out, Mass Media. Get a new angle already.

IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU, CHARLIE!

8.14.09 Red Sox @ Knights - Jake Peavey is an American.

Jake Peavey WINS! At being the most ethical, Christian, golden American baseball player of all time. Even so, the Knights could not sell out this game or any other game for that matter. I think I know why. I think because every other kid plays baseball down in the Carolinas so everyone's busy with their own thing.

So what I meant to say is this: Carlos Torres WINS! 5-3. Look how low you made Kris Johnson hang his head. Johnson could not even get out of the fourth inning. He was nearly outpitched by a rehabbing NL'er with a bum ankle and below-average shoulder strength.

Johnson threw 85 or 86 pitches in 3 2/3 innings. He gave up four runs to Charlotte. Peavey at least got 5 strikeouts. But I don't care, I still love Kris Johnson and I know he is going to find himself and pitch like the future star he is!

HA! Fooled you! Kris Johnson is a bum! Another lefty bum: Hunter Jones, who nonetheless managed to get five outs without giving up a run.

Onto the bats: The Knights had a 5-0 lead and Pawtucket was looking weak as usual until the seventh inning. Fist baseman Jeff Bailey led things off with a walk. Chris Duncan singled and then Dusty Brown hit a two-run double! Angel Chavez followed that with a double of his own, scoring Brown from second.

And then Gil Velazquez grounded out to end the inning. Velazquez is batting .132 with runners in scoring position. Hey, at least... um... Gil's got... uhhh... the fielding's declined...hmm...not really handsome... Hmmm. GIL VELAZQUEZ IS ONE FUCKING WELL-DRESSED MAN!!
brilliant observations:
1. If the Charlotte Knights don't play in Charlotte, or even in North Carolina, why not stop the chicanery and just call them the 'Carolina Knights'? Surely someone has posited this theory before. Get some new management and a new promotions team and get to work!
2. Travis Denker batted leadoff and went 0-4 with three K's.
3. Marcus McBeth pitched a clean 1 1/3 at the tail end of the game. Don't you love him? He could be the best thing about the PawSox this year.
4. Keith Ginter went 3-4 against Pawtucket. I never liked that asshole. You can look it up.
5. Photos here. Very nice. I'm going to print them out, lick them, and cry.
6. It doesn't look like anyone's blogging the Charlotte Knights. Can someone help me out? I'm nothing without strip-mining other peoples' work.

Tonight! Pawtucket goes to Gwinnett Valley for hot Braves action. John Halama will face the Red Sox. I have nothing to add to that.

8.12.09 Pawtucket @ Charlotte: Mills v Whisler

Wes Whisler wins, 6-2.

Lefty Wes Whisler pitched eight innings yesterday. Pawtucket scored its only two runs in the first inning, when Whistler walked Aaron Bates with the bases loaded. And Whisler had technically loaded the bases anyway with all walks, including a hit batsman (Anderson). Bubba Bell grounded out after that, scoring Carter from third.

Whisler got out of the inning after that and went on to pitch a beaut. Or a humdinger, I always get those two confused. No more walks, three hits, and 105 pitches. Damn, Jake Peavey has a tough act to follow!

Righty Jhonny Nunez closed the game out, three up-three down.

Youngster Adam Mills was hung with the loss for the Red Sox. Mills gave up five runs in the first inning. It was like, single single single, double steal, single, double double, out out out. Hop, shuffle, step... hop shuffle step...TRIPLE CINCINNATI!

And so Adam Mills has a 22.50 ERA. Better get to work, son!

just for you, here's a love song:
1. Billy Traber pitched four innings after Mills' two. Traber has been very versatile, like a nice pair of slacks.
2. And TJ Large handled all the Restovich.
3. The Knights had 12 hits. Third baseman Josh Fields had two doubles and Wilson Betemit had two RBI.
4. Keith Ginter made a fielding error. I used to get so het up about his errors when he was on the team last year.
5. Adam Mills is a Charlotte man. Prior to his promotion, he had an eight-game winning streak. And he was a 49er, but not the San Francisco kind. He didn't head west in search of gold or anything.

Tonight! Peavey v Johnson. Peavey is only going to pitch, like, two innings so don't go ordering pizzas to eat while you mash your transistor up to your ear.

(bye.)

demographics, man.

I noticed that the New Britain Rock Cats are having a Latino fiesta next weekend. Pawtucket used to do this, but it doesn't look like it's going down in 2009.

Are you kidding me? Have you ever been to Pawtucket and its outlying areas? Take Central Falls, where I live. There are more Latinos than anything! (68 percent of the population.) Coño!!

I put this up on Twitter. A lot of people don't like Twitter. You know... "WHY DO PEOPLE FEEL THE NEED TO LET EVERYONE KNOW WHAT THEY HAD FOR LUNCH? WHO CARES? SELF-ABSORBED!!"

To which I say, just don't follow those people! I follow IL teams, news outlets, bloggers, Coach Keno Davis, Doug Mientkiewicz (boring, can't spell), etc. I don't have a cell phone or anything so this is handy. For me, it's like a news ticker tape.

Okay, it is kind of stupid. Just give me this one thing. AND GIVE ME LATIN NIGHT AT MCCOY! I COULD BE MEXICAN, YOU KNOW!!

8.11.09 Pawtucket defeats the Knights 4-0.

Isn't this two wins in a row? Jolines!

Freddy Garcia is rehabbing. Garcia doesn't care about Ivan Ochoa or Brian Anderson. Garcia hates being in the minors. He probably hates Michael Restovich and Jack Egbert, too. Garcia does not particularly care for the weird shade of green on the Charlotte uniform.

Garcia got the loss, but he does not care. He worked six innings and threw 87 pitches and his work was done. Justin Cassel was reliever number one, and I'm pretty sure his brother is a football player. Garcia gave up two runs, Cassel gave up two runs, it was 80 degrees and overcast in "North" Carolina.

Freddy Garcia gave up eight hits, Bowden gave up three. Bowden worked 5 1/3 and the bullpen was its old-fashioned perfect self. I'm talking about Rocky Cherry, Lopez, and Vaquedano. Of course, Vaquedano only got one out, but it counts!

So, wait, who's the closer now that Cabrera is in Boston? (Nice job, by the way.) Don't answer that.

Pawtucket staggered its run scoring in innings 5-8, with one run in each inning. Momentum's a bitch, huh? In the fifth inning, Ochoa hit an RBI single after Chavez and Velazquez each singled, scoring Chavez.

In the sixth inning, Chris Duncan hit a solo home run.

In the seventh inning, Gil Velazquez homered with no one on.

In the eighth inning, Aaron Bates doubled and then Dusty Brown doubled to score Bates. 4-0 Pawtucket and you can use your Colonial quill pen to mark it.

and when your looks are gone and you're alone:
1. Are you going to finish your sandwich? No, you can have the Restovich.
2. Travis Denker had the night off. He probably did something bad and got benched.
3. Javier Lopez recently participated in Jeff Natale's radio segment. I have a soft spot for Lopez - he's a Pawtucket hard-timer and doesn't seem as doltish as some other guys. But he really captures the flag in this interview when he pronounces 'Pawtucket' like a native. Even if he refers to himself as a 'divo'. Lopez is tall, dark, and handsome and is scared to throw overhand.
4. Is Pawtucket's long-slumbering offense finally rousing? Is it Brian Anderson and Chris Duncan? Dare to dream.
5. Um, Brian Anderson struck out four times in this game. He probably had a sucking chest wound or something.
6. Aaron Bates is batting over .200! Bates only batted .186 in July. So far in August he's batting .286. YOU CAN DO IT, NORMAN!!!
7. Bowden picked off Josh Kroeger. I wanna say 'Chad' Kroeger, but that's the ugly asshole in that really dreadful band. Or the supermarket.
8. Bowden walked three batters. This is his weakness. That, and a really moist Sara Lee poundcake.
9. Jeff Bailey is a good friend: Bailey might be headed to Australia in the off-season to visit his old pal Brett.. Roenecke. Rad... Brent. That fucking Australian kid who played in Portland with Bailey. WHAT IS HIS NAME??? Roeneberg!!! Something like that.
10. I did something weird last night: I watched part of the Red Sox game. Of course, the one time I watch there's a stupid brawl. And a rain delay. I got a phone call from the Force to tell me that Cabrera was pitching. It was glorious.
11. Bonus: No Tom Caron, who I hate and want shipped off to do Marlins coverage.
12. Do you find Freddy Garcia attractive at all?

Tonight! Wes Whisler and Adam Mills. Cool name, Wes. Tomorrow! Jake 'The Cake' Peavy versus whoever we have hanging around. Does it matter?

I fucking love you guys.

Pawtucket Red Sox @ Charlotte Knights - For No One.

Pawtucket WINS! 6-5 and it is unbelievable.

I'm gonna preface all of this... I mean, I gotta apologize... I was reading some of my older posts and they were so engaging, funny, insightful and clever... and lately there's been a decline in post quality... I mean, I admit it, I've gotten kind of lazy. I'm going to try harder, I promise. I could blame the team and their lackluster performance but let's face it - aren't the PawSox a red herring? I mean, if it wasn't them, it'd be something else. I'm just being a show-off and filtering it through a conveniently located minor league baseball team.

And it's not like I'm accountable for anything, either. Chris Carter is not stepping up to me and telling me to shut my headhole. No one's ever told me to pipe down. As far as I know, no one knows about me. I once called a pitcher an unconvicted necrophiliac, FCOL. I brought up another player's drinking problem.

My point is this: FUCK YOU, HUNTER JONES! I HOPE YOU DIE! I HOPE YOU FUCKING DIE!

Your heavenly Pawtucket starter tonight was Randor Bierd. It was Bierd's second start for Pawtucket, and golly, it was a good one. Bierd pitched 5 1/3 innings and the Knights did not score one run. Oh, sure, they got three hits, but only ONE was for extra bases. Blame catcher Tyler Flowers for that one.

And then the unspeakable happened: The worst reliever in Pawtucket came in for Bierd. I am speaking, of course, about Hunter Jones. Jones trotted his punk ass out in the sixth inning and got the last two outs. Okay. Jones killed the seventh inning, too, three up/three down. But the eighth inning came like a crate of bad milk and Jones gave up a two-run to Keith Ginter. Keith Ginter!

And then Negron walked, Lillibridge doubles, and Josh Kroeger hits a two-run double. And that was the end of the night for Jones. Pawtucket's 4-0 lead became a 4-4 tie.

Marcus McBeth came into the game with no outs and a runner in scoring position. McBeth managed to escape with only one more run scored, but the Knights got a 5-4 lead.

Oh, but hang on. Top o' the ninth, Bubba Bell doubles to right. Crazy, right? Then Mark Wagner hits an RBI double and the game is tied! WHAT IS THIS?

McBeth, Lopez, and Large all kept the game tight. Here come McBeth... walkin' in the place along with L. You know what I mean? And Large was cool...

Real cool. Large got the win when Chris Duncan doubled and scored on a passed ball. Tyler Flowers, you ignorant slut.

Last reliever standing Fernando Hernandez got the loss for Charlotte. Fernando. Hernandez. Way too much 'Ernand'. Also: Who?

i can show you some of the people in my life:
1. Okay, so maybe Hunter Jones was a victim of overextended relief and I should blame RJ. But I'm mad at Jones in general for his shabby treatment of Pawtucket fans and for his shit attitude at Poster Night. I'm petty like that.
2. Bubba Bell doubled AND tripled. I love triples! Is Bell out of his slump?
3. After Zaleski, five other guys pitched for the Knights. Guys like Van Benschoten and Wahssermann. Throw in Jiminez, Rodriguez, and Hernandez and you've got some kickass Scrabble scores.
4. Aaron Bates hit a two-run homer in the fifth. Bates is a big, strong boy and should do crap like this more often. Yeah. Or I'm calling his mama!
5. Brian Anderson was picked off and caught stealing.
6. This game had some crazy defensive subs. I think Sean Danielson pinch ran for someone. So hazy. Denker went from second to third to second again. Natale pinch hit. Ochoa came in late but didn't get an at-bat. Keith Ginter switched teams and played third base for Pawtucket for old time's sake.
7. Jeff Bailey, hit by a pitch! Just like the good old days!

It's so late now. Too hot. Tomorrow...

Chris Woodward went behind the A&P.

You don't forget a face like Chris Woodward's. I think this will be his third team in 2009.

Although I said I'd never return to the New York Thruway ballparks, I'd love to go back to Rochester for a while. All summer. Who'll pay for this? The taxpayers, that's who!

Jim Mandelaro covers the Red Wings for the Rochester newspaper and I swear, there is none better in the IL. At least he knows how to spell the players' names correctly. Did I mention that the Pawtucket paper spells it 'Daegas'? Repeatedly?

Where is Daeges, anyway? WHERE IN THE WORLD IS DEVERN HANSACK?

Next year I wanna go see the Louisville bats. Imagine, ME! In Kentucky!

Stay tuned.

Baby Chris Carter is not one to gossip.

"You can congratulate Dusty Brown on his new baby, but I wouldn't do the same for Fernando Cabrera. Just trust me on this one."

8.8.09 Pawtucket Red Sox v Norfolk Tides

Tides win, 7-3.

Charlie Zink gets the loss for Pawtucket because he gave up five runs. Jake Arrieta got the win.

TJ Large's ERA is currently 7.94.

Sean Danielson played in this game. I don't think he's worked since about April, so I'm glad he's feeling better.

Freddy Guzman wound up with the Tides and I'll bet he's feeling pretty smug right about now.

et:
1. The Pawtucket paper wrote an article about "Future's at Fenway". They used the apostrophe throughout the article so it wasn't a typo. Paid. Sportswriters.
2. Jeff Bailey hit a 2-run single.
3. Rocky Cherry pitched two scoreless innings. Rocky Cherry works his ass off and deserves some recognition.
4. Wanna hear my tribute to Rocky Cherry: Thanks, Rocky!

I guess that's it. PawSox are on the road and will kick off their Charlotte homestand tomorrow. In NORTH Carolina. Wink.

8.6.09 Red Sox v Tides

5-3 Tides. I was just thinking yesterday, gee, I know so little about TJ Large. This is mostly because he is not interesting. Well, things have changed.

Let me start be saying that I think we have all overlooked one of Boston's biggest impact trades during the off-season. I am of course talking about the Pauley-Bierd swap that went down with Baltimore. We sure got one over on the Orioles!

And so last night, these two pitchers faced each other. At last they meet for the first time for the last time! The epicosity is staggering. The tension must have been unbearable.

Randor Bierd, a large man and a surprisingly good dancer, started for Pawtucket. Bierd is a reliever and he's been stuffed onto the inactive list for a good chunk of time. He's back, though, and I wish he was my friend in real life.

Bierd pitched five innings and only gave up one run on six hits. Commendable start! Bierd left the game with a 3-1 lead. There was hope... McBeth and Cherry in the bullpen, Fernando Cabrera to close. Then came the seventh inning. TJ Large mus have missed the banana peel on the mound because he slipped and hit Robby Hammock with a pitch. I'm surprised Hammock didn't start swinging!

Hammock took a while to get up and stagger over to first. He could not have been hurt that badly though because when Andrew Pinckney stepped up and doubled, Hammock made it all the way home. I'll bet it killed him. I'll bet it hurt like a mofo.

With Pinckney on second, Joey Gathright sacrificed him over to third. Justin Turner batted next and hit an RBI single. Justin Turner! Who the hell is he?

Base loading events transpired and Hunter Jones appeared next in the seventh. Jones inherits Justin Turner from Large... and Turner scores on a Brandon Snyder single. Thanks, Hunter! Tides lead, 4-3.

Pawtucket would not score another run in the game. Aaron Bates ended everything by grounding into a double play. It never gets any easier.

Get it? Hammock? Swinging?!
1. Marcus McBeth gave up the fifth Norfolk run in the ninth.
2. Remember that episode of the Brady Bunch where Marsha gave some mousy girl a makeover? And the girl turned into a snotty asshole? That's like Hunter Jones in contact lenses.
3. Joey Gathright is the best thing on the Norfolk Tides.
4. Jeff Bailey went 3-4 with a double. Word on the street is that he is only rehabbing in Pawtucket, although I overheard him say he wasn't exactly sure what was going on. To be fair, though, he also wasn't exactly sure what day it was or where his shoes were.
5. Pauley got the win for the Tides.
6. Here's a very good article by Peter Gobis for the Attleboro paper. Take heed, Providence and Pawtucket newspapers. Your cookie cutter box score bullshit is TIRED.
7. Chris Carter hit a home run.
8. Dusty Brown gunned down a pair of base stealers.

Kris Johnson v Radhames Liz tonight. They are giving away free jerseys of some kind. This brings a large crowd and they will go fast because not everybody gets one.

If you want one, you greedy bastard, show up early. You're welcome.

8.5.09 Pawtucket Red Sox v Norfolk Tides

Tides win, 8-7.

The offense was not to blame last night. Bowden had a rough start and only lasted three innings, giving up six runs to Norfolk. Vaquedano stepped in and only managed to get one out before being replaced by Rocky Cherry. It was almost like real baseball!

Pawtucket was ahead 6-3 until the fourth inning. Bowden was still in the game, but failed to get an out. Two walks and a single were all RJ needed to see. Vaquedano tried to help out, but after getting one out, he gave up a ground-rule double. Vaquedano then proceeded to throw a wild pitch, allowing Gathright to score from third.

After Vaquedano walked the next two batters, he was removed from the game. He is not as nails as he was during the first half, and I have no numbers to back my case up.

Lefty Troy Patton started for the Tides. Patton was a shipwreck. Who gives up six runs to Pawtucket? Patton pegged Chris Carter and then subsequently hit Chris Duncan, who did not think that was very funny at all.

Yeah, there was a lot going on in this game. It was a pretty memorable Poster Night.

alt-so:
1. Brian Anderson? Yes, please! Anderson can hit a little bit and that's a fresh of breath air at McCoy. He hit a three-run homer last night.
2. Rocky Cherry got his work in, going almost four relief innings. He gave up a pair of runs, but that's what happens when you work your relievers like Clydesdales.
3. Javier Lopez (not Vazquez, miscellaneous fans/sportswriters) and poor Fernando Cabrera provided scoreless relief.
4. Kam Mickolio is back in triple-A.
5. Travis Denker subbed in for Angel Chavez at third in later innings. I hope Chavez is okay, because no one plays third better. Denker is not a defensive upgrade over there.
6. Oh, yeah, Travis Denker is back. It has been said that Denker is atypical. He seems like he has other stuff going on and he might just be a guy whose job is 'baseball player'. At any rate, he is the opposite of Chris Carter.
7. Joey Gathright is a cool, cool center fielder.
8. This was a longish game at 3.5 hours for a standard nine innings.

I gotta run, but I'll be seeing you. Thanks to everyone for the past couple of days... I've had a lot of fun!

late nite snap: It's my birthday, too.

Hunter Jones thinks you are annoying.

When a lefty reliever is called up, maybe another lefty reliever gets pissed off.

Javier Lopez: In good spirits.
Hunter Jones: Not.

Enrique Wilson had to go.

Tonight is poster night and I was looking forward to seeing Carlos Maldonado. Maldonado just got released. This is like when Enrique Wilson retired right before Poster Night and I was really looking forward to seeing him.

I was a Maldonado fan. I did want to start getting rid of people, but I meant people like Jeff Natale and Bubba Bell. What's going to happen to his posse? Is Enrique Gonzalez now in charge of Fernando Cabrera and Ivan Ochoa and Velazquez?

I can't think of anyone now that will make Poster Night worthwhile. Maybe Aaron Bates.

8.4.09 Charlie Zink sold his soul.

Pawtucket WINS! 6-4.

Charlie Zink DID NOT HIT A SINGLE YANKEES BATTER! Charlie, you make us all so proud. Zink gave up four walks in 5 2/3, but he also had four strikeouts. Zink was responsible for three Yankees runs.

Baby righty Ivan Nova started for S-W/B and also gave up three runs.

I don't have much time. Chris Carter hit a home run. Jeff Bailey is rehabbing. Fernando Cabrera continues to be perfect. Jeff Natale walked twice.

I HAVE TO GO!

aM snap: Bailey, perhaps.

8.3.09 Yankees/Red Sox. Yeah.

Yankees WIN! 2-1.

I'm pretty sure I've seen this movie before. Gonzalez makes imperfect yet solid start, Pawtucket gets on the board with a solo home run by an outfielder whose last name does not rhyme with 'well', the Red Sox are behind only one run and manage to get some runners on in the ninth, everyone gets excited and then their hair falls flat?

I hate that movie.

Jeff Natale pinch hit for Velazquez in the ninth with runners in scoring position but he grounded out to third.

I imagine Zach Kroenke pitched well... I mean, he looked pretty good. But all pitchers look like Bob Gibson when they face Pawtucket. it must be a real ego boost!

they're smoking cigars:
1. Travis Denker was DFA'd. Ochoa played a decent second base.
2. Javier Lopez pitched well. Marcus McBeth pitched well. The bullpen is conspiring. Relievers v position players, mano a mano.
3. Juan Miranda continues to rail against McCoy's outfield walls with his home runs. He must love Pawtucket and its Art Deco city hall.
4. Jeff Bailey is back. Bailey did not get on base and did not play the entire game. He does not have a hardship goatee, but that might be because facial hair is prohibited in the Red Sox minors.
5. Is Bates heating up? Two hits for the big first baseman.
6. Good crowd last night. Nice night for a game. A lot of geared-up Yankees fans. And I understand, to an extent. But seriously: THIS IS NOT THE REAL YANKEES. JORGE POSADA IS NOT HERE. MELKY CABRERA IS NOT HERE.
7. Is it me or is Velazquez dogging it a little bit? It's me, right?

Today: Zink v Ivan Nova. That is a killer Scrabble matchup.

Randor Bierd started for the Red Sox in game 2.

Pawtucket lost, shut out for I think the 14th time. Zink was supposed to start, but I guess they told him to go chill out. I'm sure he's being called up, because it's not like he's been useless all summer or anything.

This team is hopeless. Here's a nice picture of one of my favorites, Carlos Maldonado.

8.1.09 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Yankees - Game 1

9-2 Yankees in seven innings. Kris Johnson continues to shine in triple-A! Johnson held the Yankees to only six earned runs on eight hits! Johnson also went deep into the game, getting almost three outs in the third inning! And so economical... 66 pitches through 2 2/3! Two strikeouts, to boot! WHO'S A SPECIAL, HANDSOME BOY??!

Kei Igawa is still hanging in there. Igawa pitched 5 2/3 and only gave up one run. He struck out four batters: Chris Duncan, Aaron Bates, Gil Velazquez, and Dusty Brown. Kevin Whelan and mysterious Cuban guy Amaury Sanit provided scoreless relief.

This game was pretty much over in the third inning, when the Yankees scored six runs. Pawtucket loaded the bases in the top of the seventh and Carter walked to score Bell from third, but then Chris Duncan flew out with the bases loaded to end the game. Have you heard about the lonesome loser?

two things:
1. Brian Anderson hit a solo home run to lead the game off. The line score must have looked like a bad bowling split, with the ones at each end.
2. Aaron Bates went 0-3 and struck out twice.
3. Jose Vaquedano gave up a pair of runs in the bottom of the sixth when Colin Curtis hit a two run double. Vaquedano then hit Austin Jackson with a pitch and got yanked in favor of The Lefty. No, not Hunter Jones.
4. Austin Jackson hit a triple.
5. The attendance at this game is listed as '1'.

Tomorrow! More Yankees. My prediction? PAIN.

7.31.09 Red Sox/Bisons

Pawtucket avoids the sweep, 4-3.

Billy Traber is in the rotation to stay, I guess. Traber did a good job, only giving up two runs in six innings.

Pawtucket shocked the fans, Ron Johnson, the pitching staff, their parents, the front office, the Bisons, and your mom when they scored three runs in the third inning. Jeff Natale led the third off with a walk, got moved over when Angel Chavez grounded out, and then raced home when Brian Anderson singled.

And then! Mark Wagner hit a homer with Anderson on first. It was Wagner's first home run with the Red Sox. Wagner also zipped one out in the eighth inning to give Pawtucket a 4-2 lead.

Fernando Cabrera closed the game out successfully, although he kicked off the ninth with a pair of singles. Cabrera had not pitched in eight days, mostly because he'd left the team for a bit (baby). His rust was evident... Cabrera did give up a run but wiggled out with a win.

Righty Tobi Stoner got the loss for Buffalo. It has to be depressing to give up a home run to Mark Wagner.

nosferatu... why don't you come to your senses?
1. Rocky Cherry pitched two kickass no-hit relief innings in 13 pitches!
2. Jeff Natale and Angel Chavez were both caught stealing.
3. Andy Green hit a home run for the Bisons. Wasn't he briefly on the PawSox this year? This spring? In the off-season?
4. The Bisons had their biggest crowd all season, some 17,000-odd fans. I'll bet they outsell the Marlins.
5. The Bisons were defensively glamorous in this game. I heard it and I read it, so it must be true.
6. Both Billy Traber and Fernando Cabrera have played in Buffalo. Ask them how much they loved those April games.

Okay, the team's off to play the Yankees in Scranton/Wilkes-Crappy. Please, make it quick and painless.