Search Term Sunday!

Haven't gone through those wacky search terms lately, so since I've nothing else to say, let's go!

1. "heavy lopez braves catcher" - "Heavy" Lopez? Is that really what you thought his name was? Or was that what fans called him back in his 90's heyday...
2. "baseball jevi" - I love this and I am thinking of changing my blog name to 'Baseball Jevi'. And perhaps do it in Spanish. I'm an assimilated Colombian, after all.
3. "Ryan Kalish naked" - I'm saving those pictures for cold, cold November.
4. "dave uyl an egotistical jerk" - This and other variations pop up occasionally. Uyl's got quite a rep!
5. "craig breslow girlfriend" - This one's a classic. I had no idea Breslow was such a stud. Although... Why do you assume he's heterosexual?
6. "scott hatteberg greenies" - When I was at poster night, I was standing on one of the Champ Ramps trying to get a good look at Fernando C. What I did not realize was that I was positioned right below a Hatteburg portrait. A woman walked up to me and said, "Scott Hatteburg. Didn't he turn out to be a real dirtbag?" When I told her I didn't know, she muttered, "I must be thinking of someone else." and walked away. Maybe that guy's bad news?
7. "Jim Martin leaving PawSox" - THIS CANNOT BE. Is this true? Holy hell, that would be really weird.
8. "marc deschenes coaching problems baseball" - Disgruntled parent. Please.
9. "jon lester handsome" - No. I'm sorry, but no. He's got a big, ugly melon head.
10. "i hate stupied people" - So don't I.
11. "tim naehring" - I have a thread titled "I fucked Tim Naehring". Not surprisingly, it gets a lot of hits. I did not personally have intimate relations with Mr. Naehring... Just want to make that clear.

I have to figure out some things to write about. Any ideas? Hit me up.