Two things.

My friend who has provided me with the many insta-snaps you see throughout BH and more Pawtucket player information than I can ever use... Is no longer my friend. In fact, he hates me. It was inevitable and has nothing to do with baseball.

I can only hope that we repair our friendship in the future, when hard feelings are behind both of us.

Ordinarily I avoid sincerity and earnestness here. I guess I just miss my friend.

Torey Lovullo was a contender for best looking man on the Red Sox and now he's gone. That was fast. I never got to check out his pythons.

Let's discuss replacements, because I know my phone is going to ring and it is going to be Mike Tamburro and Theo Epstein on conference.

1. Ellis Burks, fuck yeah.
2. JOE MCEWING!!! YES!!!
3. Stu Cliburn and his mustache of unstoppable power. Here's hoping its retained its lush glory.
4. For sentimental reasons, Marc Deschenes, even though he is pitcher. Except didn't he used to be a shortstop?
5. NOT LOU MERLONI OR I QUIT ROCK AND ROLL.
6. Ken Oberkfell, Dave Miley, or ... Well, I was gonna say Trent Jewett because the Chiefs were so exciting in 2010 but I'm not sure he's a Theo guy.

I know it's gonna be Arnie B or fucking Gabe Kapler or some shit I DON'T LIKE. At least I have something to talk about, cause by now Kurt and I don't care.

And in honor of my friend, let's once again enjoy an unflattering photo of Chris Carter.