8.26.11 Red Sox, Yankees, Game Two, Sex, Drugs, Guns, Violence, Crimson, Clover

But no rock and roll? No, baseball is pretty far from rock and roll. It's country, reggaeton, and Nicklecrap. Oh, there was that one weak lefty who never shut up about how he liked the Pixies, but that was years ago.

PAWTUCKET WINS GAME TWO, MEANING THE YANKEES LOST BOTH GAMES OF THE DOUBLE HEADER.

Scranton Wilkes-Barre didn't have a starter so much as they had some arms throwing some ball at some guys, but the first outing was by recently DFA'd Aaron Laffey. And that was after he was claimed off Mariners waivers. Laffey's a big star, after all. I especially enjoy his taffy. (Sorry.)

Laffey pitched 2 1/3, Andrew Brackman pitched 3 2/3, and Logan Kensing pitched one inning. Brackman was the best of them, like Ziva's dead sister. Laffey was pretty much ravaged by los tigres Pawtucket.

LUNA! Hector Luna, still working second base like a pro, drew first blood with an RBI single in the first. The Red Sox scored two more runs in the second, most notably by way of a Jose Iglesias RBI double. The mighty, mighty Luna hit an RBI double in the third and later scored to slap the score into life, 5-2.

Oh, wait, the Yankees scored two runs in the first inning. Jorge Vazquez, two-run homer off Jason Rice. What can you do, it's mega-slugger Vazquez, IL leader and successor to Juan Miranda. Vazquez hit a second home run off Tommy Hottovy later in the game, too, and now he has an even 30. Hooray. Hooray for this.

In the seventh inning, Luna and Will Middlebrooks hit back-to-back singles to add two runs to Pawtucket's total. In a related story, the domain name backtobacksingles.com is available. In an even more related story, I will always love Hector Luna. Even if he spits on me. No, especially if he spits on me.

Hideki Okajima also pitched. Two scoreless with three strikeouts. Has he righted himself?

over and over:
1. "Brett Carroll went all the way to third when center fielder Chris Dickerson misplayed and dropped his leadoff line drive in the second, starting a rally that gave the Red Sox a 3-2 lead." Dickerson! Go lie down!
2. The headline from Pinstriped Bible reads, "Aaron Laffey? Really?" That about sums it up.


TIME! Tonight we have Tony Pena/Manny Banuelos. Still Yankees. I hope the Red Sox win. (tm)

8.26.2011 Pawtucket @ Scranton Wilkes-Barre - Game One

Pawtucket wins, 6-1 in seven innings.

Starting pitcher for the Red Sox was Matt Fox, fit and brimming. Fox pitched five innings, not six or seven, and gave up a run. He also struck out five, including the always dangerous catcher Jesus Montero. Fox only pitched five innings. His pitch count was 71. The game was only seven innings. Injury, schminjury, Fox could have done six.

Handsome Randy Williams wrapped everything up for Pawtucket by pitching the last two innings. He gave up a solo home run to Brandon Laird.

Your starter for the Scrankees was righty Adam Warren. Warren got eleven strikeouts! That's a quality performance, right? I mean, he was one out short of pitching the whole game!

No, Adam Warren gave up six runs. Evidently, Warren was not painty-finessy. I don't know if that's his schtick or if he just had an off night? In fact, I don't know anything. What I do know is this: Warren threw 120 pitches, 74 for strikes. 120 pitches! 120 pitches! The Yankees are fucking crazy!

Pawtucket scored their first run in the first inning when Daniel Nava hit a solo home run. And then the most adorable thing happened in the second inning. Jose Iglesias, Little Iggy, little scarf boy, hit his first home run as a professional. And perhaps his last. But it was his first and it was a darling basket of kittens. And Exposito was on base, so it was a two-run thang. Awwww.

LUNA! in the sixth inning, Hector Luna hit a two-run double to pop the score up to 5-0. And finally in the seventh, Nava hit an RBI double. Pawtucket's scoring was perfectly palindromic, you should see the scoreboard.

et:
1. Donnie Collins is a good man and he puts it down: "The Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Yankees' amazing, four-year run as International League North Division champion is on life support now." HA! Pull the plug!!! JOE, TAKE US TO THE PLAYOFFS!
2. Mike Lamb?! Lamb is never gonna die, I swear. He will play for Pawtucket within the next couple of years, I predict.
3. From the SWB live blog: "Sorry to say this, but if you are the Yankees http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifand you have the playoffs essentially on the line, you have to get more than two hits against Matt Fox and Randy Williams. I know they are good pitchers. But the Yankees didn’t change their approach and got overpowered. Story of the season." You think Boston fans are dramatic? Jesus Christ.
4. PawSox Keith can barely contain his excitement: "In game one the PawSox got out to a quick lead off Yankees starter Adam Warren (6-7). Daniel Nava blasted a solo homer in the first and Jose Iglesias belted his first home run of the season, a two-run shot, in the second." Whoa, settle down! You don't want to end up like me, do you?
5. The Yankee Analysts feel that Adam Warren is a tweener. That's not very nice, what if his mom reads that?
6. Also, Pinstripe Alley delves into Adam Warren's psyche, stats, mechanics, and turn-ons.

LATER THE SAME DAY! Game two. Stay tuned, it's a rather happy ending.

Game Notes from the Atlantic

Two things:
1. Luis Exposito went 3-5. In fact, everybody got a hit! Brett Carroll struck out three times, though.
2. This Weiland/Meyers pitching matchup also occurred at the Futures at Fenway game the other day. Except the Chiefs won.
3. Was Brad Meyers' high school coach's name really Tood Cook? Tood?
4. Federal Baseball has a very good interview with Brad Meyers. THEY PUT METAL PINS IN HIS FOOT!!
5. Meyers took Matt Chico's spot in triple-A.
6. Meyers' teammate Josh Johnson describes him as 'mild-mannered, reserved and an awesome guy'.
7. Bus Leagues LY interview with Severino, who keeps his remarks brief.

Tonight! Double header. Matt Fox and stuff. Yankees. Let's do it.

8.25.2011 Red Sox @ Chiefs - Severino

Pawtucket ties it, then pulls ahead, then drops bricks on Syracuse. 12-4 the final and can I tell you how much I hate the Yankees? I hate you, The Yankees. I hope Ortiz puts a hurt on their pitching staff next week. Did you read that story? It's so good.

Starting pitcher for Pawtucket was Kyle Weiland, who gave up four singles and hit CF Roger Bernadina in the first inning to give the Chiefs the 2-0 lead. Weiland gave up six hits altogether and walked three. He was up to 98 pitches after six innings so he left the game to eat sandwiches and take a nap.

Lefty Father of the Year Felix Doubront pitched innings seven and eight and the Chiefs scrounged up a hit but nothing more. Syracuse had better luck with Michael Bowden, most notably when Roger Bernadina hit a two-run homer in the ninth, but by that time Pawtucket had a fat, fat lead. Bernadina's lucky there's no stat for Futile Home Runs.

Chiefs starter Brad Meyers also pitched six innings and gave up two runs. His work was undone by the relief corps, save Zechry Zinicola who managed to get the last Pawtucket out.

Hmm, okay, Pawtucket scoring. Let adjust my glasses and pull out this haphazard sheaf of papers from my university desk and shuffle through it. Third inning, Luis Exposito and Jose Iglesias hit back-to-back singles to lead it off. Both later scored. 2-2.

The game remained tied until the bottom of the eighth inning. Skinny reliever Ryan Tatusko still working after keeping the Red Sox scoreless in the seventh. Che-Hsuan Lin nabbed Tatusko for a single and then came the call to the pen. Lee Hyde came rollin' in. Don't try to understand him. Hyde walked Nate Spears. Daniel Nava bunted those dudes over, which was nice. Hyde struck out Anderson and walked away.

New reliever in the eighth: Jeff Mandel. And here comes Hector Luna. Ha! Luna hit a two-run single, is all. La fiebre de Luna! Will Middlebrooks followed up with a single, but Mandel got Carroll to strike out to end the inning. 4-2 Pawtucket.

NINTH INNING. Pawtucket leads with single, single, sac bunt. Adorable. Mandel gets booted in favor of Atahualpa Severino. I'm not sure Severino had any idea what was coming next. Maybe he did.

Nate Spears singled, scoring Exposito. Nava doubled, scoring both Jose Iglesias and Spears. Anderson and Luna, back-to-back singles, another run scored. Severino walked Middlebrooks to load the bases. Brett Carroll struck out, thank you Jesus, but Exposito hit a grand slam, effectively garrotting Atahualpa S. 12-4 Pawtuckets.

That's it, I'm afraid. Time's run out and I have to go to work while I still have a job.

8.24.2011 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Syracuse Chiefs

Syracuse WINS! 3-1. Pawtucket's a game behind Lehigh Valley in the division and in first place for the wild card.

Starter for Pawtucket was Greg Smith, a lefty. Smith's a new guy, formerly a Scrankee. I know you're probably wondering, is he taken? I'm sure he's married. Okay?

Smith pitched six innings and only gave up one run, which was nice. Jeff Frazier hit an RBI single with the bases loaded, is what happened. But when Smith faced second baseman Steve Lombardozzi, who everyone loves to bits, Lombardozzi grounded into a double play.

Junichi Tazawa, still working his way back to you, babe. Tazawa came in for the seventh and no one cared, no one put a stop to it. The game was tied at one and in Real Baseball, it would have been Williams and Bowden. But this is triple-A, the least real dirty of all the minors. Grit and hunger are hard to come by around these parts. And so we get Tazawa the Tommy-Johnbot, giving up a two-run homer to third baseman Seth Bynum. Waaah, I said, much like Lucy Ricardo did.

We should talk about Chiefs starter Snap-E-Tom Milone, don't you think? Milone was great, struck out eight Red Sox through seven innings. His sole boo-boo was Giving up a home run to first baseman Lars Anderson. Scintillating scoreless relief was bro-vided by noted bros Zechry Zinicola and Josh Wilkie. KEGGER IN SYRACUSE!

Do you think it's weird that Jose Iglesias batted second last night? I do. Furthermore, I was sick yesterday and said delirious things about Will Middlebrooks and Lars Anderson, which were both inaccurate and inappropriate. If only there were some way to erase, or 'delete' the comments!

My admiration of Hector Luna remains steadfast, however. Even though he went 0-3. Tom Milone's good as gold, but twice as hard.

Tommy Hottovy also pitched for the Red Sox, a scoreless eighth.

migajas:
1. "Milone is nothing like any pitcher in the majors right now. The closest comparison in recent memory would be Jamie Moyer, which would tell you something about why a lot of scouts are skeptical of Milone's ability to succeed in the majors. Moyer has long been considered an anomaly because of his ability to get excellent results out of such mediocre stuff. Despite that, Milone has a 3.47 ERA in 129.2 innings for Syracuse, striking out 131 and walking only 13." - James Dunne discusses baseball on an infrequent basis. Terrific blog, though.
2. Matt Antonelli was an All-Star this year. From his website (?): "I believe we have the home run derby tonight, but for some reason me and my three home runs weren't invited. Too bad it wasn't a "seeing-eye single" derby. I'd dominate that shit."
3. Story by Syracuse's Lindsay Kramer, photos by Mike Greenlar.
4. So now we have this Patrick McHugh guy covering Pawtucket? For big Boston sports http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifmedia corporate conformist inc.? Did you know that he is a MURDERER?!
5. Brian MacPherson explores the possibility that Luis Exposito is not a crumb-bum.
6. PawSox Blog presents a more clear, concise game summary in measured tones.
7. Game video! A couple of Chiefs pitchers talk about Steven Strasburg's impending visit to Syracuse. Please note the misspelling of Tom Milone.
8. Would you like to get to know game star Seth Bynum? Not the way you're thinking... I mean, do you want to have carnal knowledge of Seth Bynum? Evidently he plays the piano. HOTTT.
9. Jose Iglesias went 2-4.

Tonight! Kyle Weiland @ Brad Meyers. In Syracuse, in the ballpark which is the same ballpark as Norfolk and Lehigh Valley and Indianapolis. DON'T THINK I DIDN'T NOTICE.

I am feeling much better, thanks for asking.

8.23.2011 I see Lars Anderson walkin' away.

4-2, win goes to the Syracuse Chiefs. Not a good showing for the Pawtucket 150th Anniversary celebrity shindig. Congresspersons! Mayors! Business owners! Jason Benetti!

Starting P for the Red Sox was Alex Wilson, who has a super juicy ass and probably needs it to throw as hard as he does. Wilson dogged it out for four entire innings, giving up two runs on five hits. Not bad? He walked four dudes and his pitch count was up to 86. I was there, I don't know. I'm far from a scout so all I can say is that he looked weird. He is graceless.

The Syracuse chiefs gave us Brad Peacock, who pitched five and got the win. Know who else pitched for the Chiefs? Garrett Mock, still hanging on. And Atuhualpa Severino (not an actual Hawaiian.) And Josh Wilkie!

The game was tied at two, a score achieved through a series of wild pitches and walks and errors and base stealing. One of those classic triple-A slop games I've seen way too often. Jason Rice kept the fifth inning scoreless, but in the sixth the Chiefs nickle-and-dimed him for a couple of runs. Former PawSox roster stuffing Tug Hulett drove in one run, and a wild pitch by Rice allowed a second run to score.

Pawtucket probably could have won this game, but the defense was the team's downfall, excepting tiny dancer Jose Iglesias. Lars Anderson had some opportunities to make good plays, but Middlebrooks is not Hector Luna at third, nohow. Middlebrooks' throws to first need a little work. And Luna? He played second like the pro that he is. I'll bet he couldn't help but think, I would have gotten that runner. I would have nailed it. Anderson would have had that guy.

Handsome Randy Williams is back with Pawtucket. He pitched two innings last night, all scoreless and clean, with three K's. His fluidity and poise on the mound was like a counterpoint to the brutish throws of Alex Wilson. And also, he is handsome.

After the game there was a laser show. I stayed and watched it. What? I also participate in the wave sometimes. How many times have I told you that I'm keeping it real?

CL:
1. Since I almost always ride the first base line, I should be an expert on fielding that position. How many times did I see Jeff Bailey set, pivot, receive? Was he better than Aaron Bates? I never saw many problems over there, but then you had guys like Angel Chavez (number one greatest third baseman I've seen at McCoy), Gil Velazquez (also good), Keith Ginter... No, not Ginter. My point is that Anderson had some bad luck at first last night, which sufficiently rankled him into a desperate, sprawling layout in late innings, gut down in the dirt and ball-holding arm stretched to its limit onto the base. Who was the runner? I cannot remember.
2. But my point is this: These are Anderson's last days with Pawtucket. He is going to turn into Aaron Bates and there's nothing he can do about it.
3. "Fans at McCoy Stadium just got to see why Daniel Nava and Lars Anderson are expected to make an impact for Boston in the future." They are? When did this happen? Daniel Nava? REALLY? Information courtesy of a live blog of the game, written by one Patrick McHugh. Hey, McHugh: It's JHONATAN Solano. And thanks to the sporty mega-corporation who put this out there for horning in on my racket.
4. Oh, yeah, the Red Sox left the bases loaded in the bottom of the ninth. With no outs, they loaded them. And then came the bottom of the order.
5. Syracusey summary with video.
6. Everyone's favorite B-Mac tells you all about it.
7. The other B-Mac, the Up-and-Comer, does his thing all over Chili Davis' FAYCE! This season's feature stories deserve recognition, really. Some fresh stuff for that crazy little Pawtucket paper. All you, McGair.
8. Scouting report on Brad Peacock: "With a quick, loose arm action, he throws a 92 to 94 MPH straight fastball, a plus knuckle-curve ball with sharp downward action, and an average changeup. As the 2010 season progressed, his velocity climbed; when pitching out of the bullpen in the Arizona Fall League, he was hitting 96 MPH consistently. Possesses the arm strength and stuff and talent to become a mid-rotation starter. Fields position fairly well and has average athletic ability.Worst case scenario, power bullpen arm."

After being away for a while, I had to come back to a game like this? I had fun at the park, regardless. But since my computer had to undergo minor changes, I'm working with a handicap. My favorite stuff's all gone, I can't make good lineups, the blog search engine I usually use es jodido, everything's different, and I'm sick! Sick! Who gets sick in August? And why don't I ever get hate mail? I would love to get hate mail!

On the plus side, I'm an emerging force in grass-roots sports media. You have no idea how excited I am.

BASEBALLERY!!!!!

I hold my breath, I'm scared to death.

Jolines! I am back! You don't know how badly I missed all this, there's so much we need to talk about, I can't believe it at all!

Do you know what I've been doing? Reading books, like some kind of animal!

Missed you guys so much, but I'm back for good. Gotta get crackalackin'. So many songs we have to sing... Together.

8.15.11 Now maybe you'll think twice before you freeze someone's head.

Could it be? Yes, the Red Sox win and the Iron Pigs lose and JOE!! TAKE US TO THE PLAYOFFS!!!

Final score was 7-3, but the game was tied up 3-3 until the eighth inning. Sounds like a humdinger, wish I could have been there. Late August is such a fucking fantastic time for baseball and I watch the baseball channel and get all excited. Jim Thome, the Brewers, the Pirates K Pujols, Brian Wilson blows it, Delmon Young, all that stuff. I love all of it, I love the World Series, I Roger Angell love it. YES! YES! I'M NOT NO LIMBURGER!

Starter and Team Captain (if Pawtucket had a team captain, BD could be as good as anyone and would most likely get my vote) Brandon Q. Duckworth (may not be actual middle initial) got six strikeouts through six innings, gave up three runs on eight hits. Major, major accolades should be tossed upon the relief corps, along with cold beers and other assorted lagniappe. Hottovy! Atchison! Bowden! They all donned their most manly tool belts and bolted down the win for Duckworth.

(much later) Something alien has destroyed my PC. The following is a remote transmission.

For Gwinnett, fans were treated to a start by righty Erik Cordier. Cordier also pitched six innings and gave up three runs, including home runs by Ryan Lavarnway and Daniel Nava. But all the stuff, all the hard work, all undone by Cordier's supposed friends Anthony Varvaro and Jaye Chapman. Oh, what terrible things they've shown!

So what happened, specifically? In the eighth inning, with two out and two on, Nate Spears hit an RBI single. Because sometimes, Spears does good things, even when they play Britney songs during his at-bats. And then, ha, little Jose hit a two-run single! 6-3 Pawtucket!

The R. Sox tacked on their seventh run in the ninth when Mr. Helper Hector Luna singled with a couple of guys on. Luna's a walking work of art and Jaye Chapman is a broken wind-up toy.

The save went to M. Blowden. Ha, Blowden, What an exquisite typo.

caught a cold from the rain, don't care if i'm cold:
1. Ben Beitzel's lament.
2. And then there's Maude: Mike Delrio also makes an observation, because he's Isaac Fucking Newton. Slideshow included! Also, 'Pawtuckett'!
3. Brett Carroll went 3-4 with a double and stole a base. Smashing job, n00b.
4. Stefan Gartrell homered for the Braves. Gartrell is second in the IL for homers. Later he was spotted designing silk shirts.
5. And because brevity is next to cleanliness, here's a four-sentence newspaper story regarding the match. Again, who writes this stuff and how much to they have to drink at night to suppress their feelings of desperation and failure?

TONIGHT! A strong segment of the Blackstone Valley Media Club will be present at the park! Yes, I am a member... Founding member... Not president, though. Charlotte's in town for baseball, keno, and seafood. Felix Doubront will attempt to take the piss out of Jeanmar Gomez.

Side note: My computer could truly be deadski. I don't know what's going to happen because in terms of money, I have no money. And if I can't blog, then what's this all been about? What have I been working toward?

I know that no one reads any of this, but screw you. I'm cranking out majestic operatic arias to an empty house and I AM NEVER GOING TO DIE!!!

HESSMANIA!!!!

8.13.11 Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well how very nice.

Matt Fox wins! 5-0. AND I get my wish! A Mets-style start from Pawtucket!

As I am certain you have heard already, Matt Fox pitched a complete game shutout. Fox struck out seven, walked one, and gave up two hits. Hit one, a single by third baseman Wilkin Castillo in the fourth. Wait, wasn't Wilkin Castillo on the Bats? Yes, he was!

The second hit was by shortstop Brandon Hicks in the ninth. Fox's pitch count for the entire game was 99.

Starter for the Gwinnett Braves was Yohan Pino. Johan Santana. Yorvit Torrealba? Jhoulys Chacin! No, Yohan Flande. Mmmm, Flande. Flande maybe had control problems, as he gave up seven hits and four walks through five innings. Flande threw the exact same amount of pitches at Matt Fox (99) with radically different results. Matt Fox DIDN'T give up a home run to the DH. Matt Fox DIDN'T give up any extra base hits. Matt Fox DIDN'T give up five earned runs. MATT FOX DIDN'T GIVE UP. And you did, Yohan! WHY? YOU ONLY MOVED THE HEADSTONES! WHY!?

Scoreless relief was provided by Braves bullpenners Ben Swaggerty, JJ Hoover, and Dustin Richardson. Thank you, boys!

Two things:
1. Yes, Daniel Nava hit a solo home run. ZOMG did you know Nava was scouted out of the Indy leagues?! I'll do you one better! The R. Sox just picked up a reliever named TJ Hose out of the Can-Am League. Unfortunately, Hose is 47 years old. And he's originally from Brockton. He was gonna be a boxer like his old man, but too many blows to the dome rendered him an imbecile. Here's hoping he climbs his way up to Pawtucket!
2. Fox sez: "To do it under 100 pitches was a lot of fun. I told my mom that it was my first complete game or shutout since college. She drove up from Orlando and I was glad that she was able to watch me. She’s a teacher and she goes back to work tomorrow, so this is probably the last time she will see me pitch this year. It was nice to end her summer on a high." (UCF Today)
3. Al Daniel's shocking exposé of a sweltering, sultry, sweat-soaked matchup feat. Tyler Pastornicky's leg.
4. Braves reliever Ben Swaggerty was doing the double-A Royals thing and asked for his release, which the organization gave to him. I wonder what happened?

One more Gwinnett Braves game tonight! Brandon Duckworth will punch Erik Cordier in the mush, see? I figuratively cannot wait.

8.13.11 Junichi Tazawa is Well and Feeling Fine

Braves win, 4-2. Kyle Weiland takes the loss.

The Gwinnett Braves assaulted Weiland's balls with their bats, resulting in four runs, including a homer by (who else?) Brian McCann. McCann's all done with his rehab, thank you very much.

Todd Redmond, no relation to Mike except it's his brother, started for the Gwinnett Braves and had a little more success. Redmond pitched seven innings, and only gave up one run. He threw 100 pitches. When will someone from Pawtucket have a start like that? I realize it's all some diabolical plan that comes from the organization, but what about me? I want to see a for real start! I want Felix Doubront to pitch 8 innings! 105 pitches! That'll fix him!

The Red Sox scored their first puny run in the second inning, when Luis Exposito grounded out with a runner on third. Exposito rubbed some sticks together in the ninth, too, and hit an RBI single. Iglesias popped up after that with a couple of runners on, but no dice. Iglesias grounded out like a little baby.

And what about Junichi Tazawa? He jumped into the game in the sixth inning, got some work in, threw 46 pitches. Randy Williams also chalked up one out, a big K in the eighth. Jeff Fiorentino cannot handle that kind of truth!

One thing about Randy Williams. Before games at McCoy Stadium, the scoreboard blasts the rules and regs as read by the players. Most of them come off barely literate, but Williams has PIZAZZ! CRACKLE AND POP! Guys as sharp as him are something rare. Someone give Randy W. A walk-on part in a soap opera, like some of those guys from... The Pirates? Oakland? Was it the Cardinals?

It was the Brewers. I just looked it up.

Cory Gearrin got the save for the Braves. Gearrin then started a wave before he shaved.

keep them just the same:
1. Al Daniel breaks it down Rhody-style.
2. Todd Redmond is not Mike Redmond's brother. He is, in fact, his father. Did you know he threw a no-hitter?
3. Ben Beitzel of the Georgia Beitzels paints a perfect picture and brings 2 life a vision in one's mind. Also, is pitching coach Marty Reed calling Todd Redmond a fatass?

Tonight it's Matt Fox v lefty Yohan Flande. Sure.

8.12.11 Pawtucket @ Gwinnett County - McCann

Well, this game had something for everyone! PawSox manage to swing it, 5-3. Mostly because things got crazy in the ninth, very slippery and arms and legs everywhere. I'll bet those guys smelled terrible after the game.

Tony Pena started for Pawtucket and gave up one run on six hits through five innings. I miss Kevin Millwood already. Julio Teheran started for the Braves and he's the guy people were there to see, aside from a rehabbing Brian McCann.

Julio Teheran threw 106 pitches! He pitched seven innings! Pawtucket got eight hits off Teheran, but only managed to produce two runs. And the Braves didn't even DP Pawtucket once! (Uh huh huh huh. Uh huh huh huh.)

If Pawtucket didn't win this game, you could have pinned the L on Che-Hsuan Lin and his negative clutchness. Three times! Three times Lin made the last out with runners in scoring position! GO BACK TO RUSSIA!

The Braves were up 3-2 in the ninth inning. Okajima had a tough sixth inning which miraculously only resulted in one run for Gwinnett. Jason Rice came to his emotional rescue and got the last out, but then gave up a solo home run to Wilkin Ramirez in the eighth. AAAAGHH I am never going to that park!!

Pawtucket's fortunes turned in the ninth inning while Jaye Chapman was pitching. Daniel Nava led off with a single to center, and isn't it nice to see him hitting a little? Chapman got Carroll and Spears to fly out, so maybe he thought he was in pretty good shape. Probably not, though, because relievers have to be coiled springs of intensity at all times. Like Ramon Ramirez, that guy was INTENSE.

So with two outs and little Danny Nava dangling on first, Hector Luna stepped up. Notice how Luna's been dropped in the batting order? No, you didn't, because I am probably the only person who cares about that. Luna hit a line drive single to left and I'm sure the scoreboard encouraged the fans to react negatively.

Chapman then walked Iglesias to load the bases. And this time, Che-Hsuan Lin was clutch, hitting a two-run single. 4-3 Red Sox! GET SOME!

Pitching change: Dustin Richardson showed up for the party in Pawtucket's pants. Kalish was batting. Lin stole second and Iglesias scored on a passed ball. D'oh, Wil Nieves!

Richardson wound up walking Kalish, who turned around and pulled off a double steal with Lin. It was very nearly an Eiffel Tower situation. Richardson faced Lavarnway next and he is so lucky that Lavarnway's cooled off. Groundout, inning over, damage done, the king is dead, do not pass 'Go', shut the door so I can leave, I will follow him.

Scott Atchison closed the game out and it was very professional. Atchison is witchcraft. And this game was 3.5 hours long.

y lo que:
1. Hector Luna went 4-4 with a double. I wonder what his reaction was to being dropped?
2. I listened to a good chunk of this game on the radio. I know I have mentioned it before, but the Braves PA guy is out of control. And they do all these sound effects and promos during the game, making it kind of hard to listen to the broadcast. Even Hyder was all, 'Show a little class, ballpark.' That PA guy must drink himself into a stupor when he gets home. I know I would.
3. Lavarnway went 0-5 with 2 K's.
4. Wil Nieves must have declining skills in keeping runners on. Lin stole two, Kalish two, Spears one. Lavarnway had three bags stolen on him... Tough night for catchers.
5. Story on McCann, featuring the 'Pawtucket PawSox'.
6. "Until Friday’s loss, Gwinnett was 50-0 when leading after eight innings." - Ben Beitzel, Gwinnett paper. You spelled 'reliever' wrong, dude.
7. WTF?! Somehow Ruben Gotay comes out 'Brandon Gutay' in this game story. I kinda internet-know the writer so I can't rip on him too badly. Another PC guy working for the Pawtucket paper. Go Friars!!
8. WIL Nieves! It's WIL Nieves!!!!
9. Wanna see a killer photo of Jaye Chapman?

Tonight we will do the Kyle Weiland thing. Todd Redmond will be out there, too, sweating his balls off. Ah, Georgia. It never gets any cuter.

8.11.11 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Charlotte Knights - Los Zurdos

Red Sox take this one 3-2. Doug Davis will get you next time.

Pawtucket starting pitcher was Felix Doubront, easing into pitching again like a bubbling hot tub. Doubront worked for 2 2/3 innings, giving up a hit, a walk, and no runs. He threw 42 pitches and struck out three. Just a quickie last night for Doubront.

Charlotte Knights starter last night was the world famous Doug Davis. Davis could quite possibly have pitched a great game, but the first inning was rough and he gave up those three Pawtucket runs.

See, what had happened was Ryan Kalish returned to the lineup. Kalish's first at-bat featured a line drive to center for a double with one out. I'll bet that felt great. Doug Davis then walked Lavarnway and Anderson to load the bases for Brett Carroll. Wait, Brett Carroll's still around? I thought that was a practical joke!

Carroll hit a fly ball to center, allowing Kalish to score. Next up was Luis Exposito, who hit a single, scoring Lavarnway. Jose Iglesias, the lightest hitter this side of the Pecos, hit a single of his own right after that. Anderson scored! 3-0 Pawtucket.

Oh, hey, look, it's the bottom of the fourth! How did Tommy Hottovy get out there? And did he just give up a leadoff double to Dayan Viciedo? YES. And then Josh Phegley batted Viciedo in to bring the score to 3-1.

The Knights scored again in the seventh inning. Handsome Randy Williams got tagged for a run when he hit catcher Josh Phegley with a pitch, which generated a run when second baseman Andrew Garcia doubled. Uh-oh, 3-2... Was Charlotte coming back to kill us all?

No, because Williams pulled it together and got some outs, leaving his high score and extra lives to Michael Bowden. Bowden put a bow on it for the PawSox and the 4,000 fans in attendance (Or, realistically, the 3,000) trudged home with heavy hearts. They really care about the White Sox down in the Carolinas.

presser:
1. Ryan Kalish also struck out twice. Tony Thomas went hitless and struck out three times. Iglesias got two hits.
2. Guess who got the win? Tommy Hottovy.
3. I have limited resources for game notes. I mean, you can read this, but you may as well read a box score. I mean, don't they have someone at the paper that can cover Charlotte Knights games?
4. Not really anyone blogging White Sox minors, either?
5. Felix Doubront added, Royce Ring to the DL. Jeremy Kehrt's back with Portland, but still on the DL. Ronald Bermudez is also in Portland.
6. Did we talk about the release of Clevelan Santeliz? He's gone.
7. Oh, here's something! Peter St Onge talks about the Knights getting money to build a downtown ballpark and how risky it is.
8. Kristin Horne admires Lavarnway's work in Charlotte.
9. Lindsey Roycraft is the Knights PR person. Her job is evidently a challenge every day.
10. More stuff about a potential new park for the Charlotte Knights. According to this person, the Greenville Drive draws more fans than the Knights. BELIEVE IT.

TONIGHT. Gwinnett Braves. Julio Teheran! Tony Pena will be over there, trying to solve that thing. Meantime, let's go to work!

8.10.11 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Charlotte Knights

Charlotte Knights take it, 8-5. Tough night, Royce Ring.

Starting pitcher for the Red Sox was Brandon Duckworth. Duckworth pitched 6 2/3 innings, as usual. He gave up five runs on seven hits, including two home runs by freaking Dallas McPherson. I'd say Duckworth has had better days.

Dylan Axelrod put it down for FMSC, working.... Well, laboring for five innings and giving up four runs on eight hits. Axelrod struck out five and walked three.

Axelrod's first inning was pretty sloppy. Che-Hsuan Lin led off with a single. A double by Nate Spears allowed Lin to take third and set everything up for Ryan Lavarnway, who flew out to left so Lin could score. Lars Anderson did Lavarnway one better and singled to right, scoring Spears.

Axelrod then walked Nava and Carroll to load the bases, but he struck out Hector Luna and Brett Carroll to escape. But Pawtucket was up 2-0, so the Knights... They probably didn't really care that much.

Charlotte tied the game up in the fourth inning when Dallas McPherson hit a two-run homer. McPherson is not as old as you think he is, although it seems like he was on the Angels a rather long time ago. The Red Sox pulled ahead again by a run when Anderson hit an RBI single in the fifth.

Bottom of the fifth, Duckworth was ruffled again. Shorty Eduardo Escobar led off with a triple, which was at once majestic and irritating. Duckworth assessed the situation, took a few signs and... Wild pitch! Escobar scores!

And that wasn't even the worst part of the inning. After first baseman Jim Gallagher grounded into a force out, Dallas McPherson hit his second HR of the night, making the score 5-3. Okay, the Red Sox had work to do.

Sixth inning, still Axelrod. Axelrod put a couple of runners on without getting an out, so he was replaced by reliever Addison Reed. Reed is a young prospect in the White Sox org. He got Jose Iglesias to fly out to right and catcher Josh Phegley caught Exposito stealing. All anyone can really say is 'D'oh!'

And then it looks like Reed walked Lin with a wild pitch, scoring Hector Luna. 5-4!

Duckworth pitched a tidy sixth and Pawtucket scored their tying run in the seventh on a solo home run by Daniel Nava.

Okay, here's the Royce Ring part: Ring gave up three runs in the bottom of the eighth. There were a couple of singles, a bunt, a double, a home run, and then a pickoff to end the inning. Not at all in that order, but I don't want to keep you here all day.

Charlotte reliever Josh Kinney pitched the last couple of innings and got the win. Cool, I used to be a big fan of his affordable footwear.

two things:
1. Nate Spears went 3-5 with two doubles. He's got a grudge against Axelrod. The last game Axelrod pitched against Pawtucket, Spears was ejected. FACT.
2. Brett Carroll and Jose Iglesias got zero hits.
3. From Angels blog 'True Grich', we see how much Dallas McPherson resembles Joaquin Phoenix.
4. Addison Reed scouting report. (not a sentence)
5. "A wild pich", "came in to run for Millegde", "Dallas McPhearson". I certainly expect better.
6. A look at Addison Reed's repertoire here. Good stuff, Corey Ettinger, but you forgot to mention Reed's serious asshole face.
7. Addison Reed has a less successful brother in the Cubs org. Ah, that old story.
8. Addison Reed was Stephen Strasburg's closer! AZTECS!!!
9. Knights catcher Josh Phegley has ITP, which is like really bad for your platelets.
10. This story only briefly mentions Josh Phegley, but it's got this kickass headline: "AJ Pierzynski wants to play 162, he should not".
11. Dallas McPherson is going to be inducted into the Citadel Athletic Hall of Fame. Wow.

TONIGHT!!!! Tony Pena v Doug Davis. Wait, THE Doug Davis? Yes, that guy.

Later!

8.9.11 The game that no one cared about.

Pawtucket wins both games of the double header v the Charlotte Knights, this game 5-1. Pawtucket starter Matt Fox got the win and is now 7-4. Charlotte's Deunte Heath takes the loss for his team.

Fox pitched six innings and gave up one run on two hits. He struck out eight hitters, so that certainly helped. The Knights scored their run in the fifth, when shortstop Andrew Garcia hit an RBI double.

Deunte Heath. Never heard of him. And then I looked him up and I see that he is notorious. But Heath is a pitcher and that's what I'm here after. The Red Sox first scored off Deunte in the first, when Nava and Anderson hit back-to-back doubles to put up a run and lead 1-0.

Pawtucket didn't score again until the fifth inning. With one out, Tony Thomas and Lin hit back-to-back singles, then advanced on a wild pitch. Thomas scored on a sac fly by Nate Spears, but the real highlight was Nava hitting a two-run homer to right. 4-0 Red Sox.

Pawtucket scored their fifth run in the seventh with a bunch of chippy walky-singleton groundouts.

Reliever Michael Bowden closed the game out for Pawtucket with a scoreless inning that featured a single by slugger Dayan Viciedo.

it's just a shame that's all:
1. Knights manager Joe McEwing was ejected from this game for reasons that defy search engines. As I'm sure you know, McEwing's last season of pro ball was with Pawtucket in 2007. And it was unforgettable.
2. Hector Luna also hit a double.
3. Reliever and noted Australian Shane Lindsay pitched the last two innings for Charlotte. Charlotte's Tom Sorenson reports, "Before Lindsay runs to the mound, he asks a teammate to slap him so hard his eyes water." ALRIGHT, HAMILTON! I would kill to slap someone on the PawSox so hard their eyes water!
4. Shane Lindsay claims he does not drink. An Australian who doesn't drink? What's next, a talking banana?

Damn it, I should have done the other game. It had two Lavarnway home runs and the return of Ryan Kalish. And Junichi Tazawa! I'm very disappointed in myself.

Tonight! Brandon Duckworth, Dylan Axelrod. Should be a soggy, humid game. Enjoy it.

all this stuff happened but i think i'm finished now

Sorry I've been away so long. I won't let you down again.

go on

Yesterday's game was rained out.

End transmission.

8.6.11 Dear Kalish, won't you come out to play?

Kevin Millwood is gone?! Oh, well, at least I got to see him pitch Friday night. That was nice of him to make his start before he left.

ZACH DAEGES WAS RELEASED?! Oh! What could have been!

Could be worse. Could be raining.

Pawtucket WINS! all over your face! 11-1 at McCoy Stadium. Gustavo Chacin once again may not even be able to retire minor league bats. I always thought Chacin was cool. I always thought flowers was pretty, too.

Starter for Pawtucket was the dashing Tony Pena and his semi-effective repertoire. Pena pitched seven innings and only gave up one run on six hits, and not one of them was a hit by Josh Satin. Responsible for the RBI was Val Pascucci, of course. Pascucci hit an RBI double in the first inning. Buffalo never scored again that night.

Pat Misch got the start for the Bisons, and this morning it occurred to me that maybe I'd seen Misch in CT. I looked it up and YES! Misch was in the Giants org and he pitched for the Connecticut Defenders when they were the Giants Double-A team that I took for granted. Misch's start was not a disaster - He got a couple of outs in the sixth inning, but his pitch count was up to 110. Typical Mets-style start for some hapless triple-A guy.

Pawtucket first got to Misch in the second inning. Brent Dlugach hit a two-run homer to bring the score to 2-1. Center fielder Che-Hsuan Lin led the third inning off with a walk and then Lowrie hit an RBI double to make it 3-1.

With two outs in the sixth inning, Brett Carroll and Hector Luna hit back-to back doubles to make it 4-1. Misch tried to get that last out afterthat, but Nava singled and it was not to be. Taylor Tankersley took control of the situation and got Dlugach to line out to end the inning.

Okay, now we get to Gustavo Chacin and the most important thing. Bottom of the eighth and Chacin's in for Tankersley. Also, Bisons catcher Mike Nickeas has taken over the nine hole for Luis Hernandez, who came in to pinch hit for Raul Chavez in the top of the inning. This doesn't really figure into the story, but maybe some people out there dig Mike Nickeas.

Chacin struck out Hector Luna to get the ball rolling. Nava and Dlugach then hit back-to-back singles for Ronald Bermudez, who's got a fair amount of doubles in his pants for a light-hitting outfielder. And Bermudez doubled! Two runs scored and it was 6-1.

Chacin then walked Lin. Jed Lowrie... You know, I looked at Lowrie's 2008 numbers in Pawtucket and they are not that impressive. However, in this situation Lowrie hit a fly ball to right for a ground-rule double, scoring Bermudez but not Lin.

Lavarnway was up next and Chacin gave him the old IBB so he could face the better odds of the lefty, Lars Anderson. It worked! Anderson grounded into a double play!

Not really. Anderson responded by hitting his 13th home run of the season to right center. Grand slam. I'm sure Chili Davis clapped the loudest and embraced Anderson the most tightly.

What a buzzkill for Chacin. He got the hook so Brian Sweeney could come out of the bullpen and regulate, and that's exactly what he did. Sweeney got Carroll and Luna out.

Royce Ring came out for the ninth and managed not to blow the ten run lead. MANNY DELCARMEN AND CRAIG HANSEN.

Too bad Kalish had to miss all this.

migajas:
1. Informal scouting report on Tony Pena:

Pena has been a solid, if unspectacular relief pitcher for us the last several seasons. This has been a disappointment, because Pena was considered by many in the Arz organization to be the closer of the future. When he first came up, his fastball sat at around 96-97. It now sits at around 93-94. The loss in velocity has been troubling, but not devistating, as his slider is his out pitch. And that slider is NASTY. Also throws a change, which is really nothing more than a set up pitch. His control is iffy. He can come in and be hit his spots, and the next night he couldnt hit the side of a barn. His control was less of an issue when he was throwing 97, but with the loss of a few mph, control becomes that much more important.

I always got nervous when Pena entered a close game. He has never in his career been the take charge, no nonsense reliever. I read a post above as to why Pena was never given a shot as closer in Az. Thats because he simply doesn't have the mentality for it. His biggest weakness is his menal toughness or lack there of. He lets a high % of inherrited runners to score, and has a tendency to be a thrower rather than a pitcher in tight spots, which leads to alot of trouble.

2. Jed Lowrie hit three doubles last night. After the game he did mention that aside from working out/seeing pitches/getting quality AB's, he was trying to help out the team. I was WAITING for him to say that! If he didn't I would have found him and frozen his head.
3. Val Pascucci is second in the IL for RBI.
4. Bermudez and Nava both went 3-3. The only Red Sox player without a hit was Lin, who did walk a couple of times. Luis Exposito DNP.

This afternoon, weather permitting, Chris Schwinden will pitch with a purpose for Buffalo. Kyle Weiland goes for Pawtucket. The team's only a half game behind Lehigh Valley for the division lead, so let's get excited. Or... Boston makes the playoffs and rips away Pawtucket's best, leaving the team edentate and listless and with no chance in the IL Playoffs.

IDAWAHIO!!!

8.5.11 Red Sox v Bisons - His Name Happens to be Brett

Pawtucket won, 6-5. I came perilously close to skipping this game, as I got BLOWN OFF, but I ate a burrito and calmed down.

Starting pitcher for Pawtucket was Kevin Millwood, who's making all kinds of new friends in Rhode Island. Also, I recommend looking at Millwood's various salaries over the years and see how bad you feel for him. Hey, Kev, I live in a dying, bankrupt city in a sweltering tenement. What can you do for me?

Millwood had a thorny first inning, getting stung for two runs by Val Pascucci's two-run homer. What can you do, it's Pascucci. He's like Mike Hessman! Millwood cruised through 2-4, gave up a couple of singles in the fifth, and then another pair of runs in the sixth to tie the game, 4-4.

However, Pascucci was not the only first baseman to hit a home run in the first inning. Miguel Batista of the Virginia Batistas started for Buffalo, and Anderson got him for a solo shot. Add that to Che-Hsuan Lin getting ground-balled home after a double and you see the two runs, there.

The Red Sox scored a third run in the second inning thanks to a hit, a walk, and a couple of errors. In the third, Nate Spears led off with a walk, scooted over to third on a couple of groundouts, and scored when Brett Carroll hit an infield single. 4-2 Pawtucket!

Things went curiously awry when Hideki Okajima entered the game to relieve Millwood. I mean, it was cute and everything at first as Okajima got everyone to fly out in the seventh, but shit got real in the eighth. Okajima walked third baseman Josh Satin with one out. Okay. And then, ugh, beloved outfielder (DH this night) Fernando Martinez doubled to right, where the new kid was playing. And for the second time, Brett Carroll looked like Chris Carter out there, just completely in the wrong spot and chasing after the ball like a dope. Satin scores! 5-4 Bisons! Brett Carroll ruins Christmas!

Pawtucket had opportunities prior to the ninth inning: Two on for Carroll in the fifth, but he grounded out. Gustavo Chacin walking half the park in the seventh, but weak deliveries by Anderson and Carroll. Enter Dale Thayer to close the game out for Buffalo. Che-Hsuan led off the ninth with a single. Oh, wow! Cool! I love it when hope is sustained and not extinguished! Thayer got Nate Spears to strike out and then it was Jed Lowrie, who is not at all interesting or fat. Lowrie had not gotten a hit all night and I had him pegged for the second out, but Lowrie hit a single. Not that he cares. In many ways, Lowrie has never left Pawtucket. They named an omelet after him at the diner!

With two on and one out, Lin at third ready to race race race home, Anderson approached the bench. Thayer K's Anderson! AAUGH!

And so your Pawtucket Red Sox Last Chance was Brett Carroll and his plummeting stock. Carroll singled to right, though, scoring Lin AND Lowrie... Well, Tony Thomas, who pinch ran for Lowrie because he's strong and fast and Lowrie's fragile like silken kimono. You should have seen Thomas run! He looked like a football player heading for end zone glory! Brett Carroll was duly assaulted in the head area and Hyder couldn't wait to get his hands on him. I was so happy. All is forgiven, Brett Carroll. FOR NOW. Today you get to be the happiest girl in the whole USA.

the patching of Lin's uniform pants was the greatest baseball tailoring hack job I have ever seen:
1. Miguel Batista? Kevin Millwood? Gustavo Chacin? Dale Thayer? That is some pedigreed pitching right there.
2. Chili Davis was not immediately available for comment after Lars Anderson's home run.
3. Daniel Nava got a couple of hits, too. Nava's not exactly a thrill at the plate, but at least he doesn't make an ass of himself in left.
4. Millwood gave up a couple of singles in the fifth, but the infield turned a tight little 4-6-3 to snuff that out. It was a very well executed DP. Uh huh huh huh. Heh heh, hmm. Yeah.
5. Jason Rice also pitched. Tony Pena flipped off Kyle Weiland in the stands. Like a brother! Don't you flip off your brothers? I know I do. My sisters, too.
6. And your mom.
7. Spears, Iglesias, Carroll and Lin each stole a base. WHAT NOW, DUSTY RYAN?
8. Brett Carroll was DFA'd by the Brewers, opted to be a FA, and was scooped up by Boston. Yes, I do know what DFA means. And I know what a FA is. 'DTAMFS' I am still struggling with.
9. I had never heard of Josh Satin until recently, but he's been a beast with Buffalo. He's been a Bison. He fought in a war and left his friends behind him.
10. Drew Sutton is on the DL. Dlugach is not on the DL as far as I can tell, but he is not playing. If you dressed Dlugach in drag, I think he'd be a fairly attractive lady. You really can't say that about a lot of PawSox players.
11. So what's going to happen with Bermudez?

TONIGHT! Hoo, boy. Tony Pena and Pat Misch. There's a giveaway, I reckon. Maybe a sexy hat?

I love you.

8.4.11 Pawtucket Red Sox v Buffalo Bisons - Excited

Buffalo WINS! 5-4 in ten innings. Michael Bowden takes the loss.

The evening began with poster night and I sort of didn't want to go, but I did because I feel a little obligated. The worst part of poster night is witnessing the utter boredom and disinterest the players display, almost in totality. Especially Mr Crabby, Che-Hsuan Lin. It certainly is a hardship, sitting at a folding table for 60 minutes and, uh, having to SIGN STUFF and TALK TO PEOPLE.

That being said, Kevin Millwood was great and engaging and really seemed to make a sincere effort to be a good guy. Did you know that Kevin Millwood is on the PawSox, still blowing my mind?

And... It kills me to say this, but Lars Anderson was wonderful and friendly and did a great job. I thought that was very nice of him. I really hate it when people aren't one-dimensional!

Okay, Brandon Duckworth. Duckworth seemed to have a few problems during his five-inning appearance, even though ultimately he only gave up the one run. Duckworth threw 92 pitches, 53 for strikes.

Let's talk about the fourth inning, the money inning. Second base honey Josh Satin led off with a double, then Duckworth walked Pascucci and Martinez. Lavarnway had to take a walk to the mound and share a few words with BD. Duckworth got Nick Evans to strike out, but daywalker Jesus Feliciano singled, scoring Satin.

Okay, it's getting late. Did I mention Dylan Owen? No? He's thick through his ass and hips. Oh, he started for Buffalo, too.

my special day was special:
1. Here's how Bowden got on his knees and blew it: Fernando Martinez led the tenth off with a line drive double. Then two consecutive singles scored Martinez. Martinez ran home like a schoolgirl. Anderson led off the bottom of the inning with a single, but no one drove him in. Nava made the last out, thanks a lot.
2. Also, Nava's not batting second anymore. He's batting leadoff! No, not really. Lower. Much lower. Exposito lower.
3. I did get to see Lowrie work a little bit, and he's pretty smooth at short. I'll give him that. You would think I'd remember his time in Pawtucket.
4. Clevelan Santeliz gave up three runs.

One last thing, I guess. Miguel Batista was in the stands charting pitches. Just, like, sitting there. I have no idea what happened, I think I blacked out, but I got up and went and sat in his row. My intent was to get up between innings and slide past him in a rather skeevy fashion, but I chickened out and wound up leaving. I usually try not to be gross or perve on baseball players (Not that hard, most of them are not at all cute or interesting), but Miguel Batista is especially magnetic. I was shocked that no one noticed him or approached him. I really liked his shirt. Shut up!

Baby Lars Anderson knows hard times.

"Do yourself a favor, man, and watch 'Anvil: The Story of Anvil.' It really helped me through some shit."

Airport, schmairport.

1. Jason Varitek - "Varitek Schmaritek, you take David Ortiz, period. Maybe Manny Ramirez."

2. Pedro Martinez - "Pedro schmedro, the big question is, are we going to have a Halladay this summer."

3. Johnny Damon - "ahhhh...an Damon schmamon..0-4. haa. he's a beestard..yesterday I watched the yankee game and they interviewed him and he said he hits homers cause "chicks dig it"...ghay.."

4. Manny Ramirez - "Manny Schmanny. He’s an overpaid loafer with really bad hair whose only accomplishment may be to break the career record for grand slams, set by a true American hero (and Yank!) That makes me sad. You will never see Ramirez in the Hall."

5. Kevin Youkilis - "Swishy needs all the votes he can get. Youkilis, schmoukilis!"

6. Tim Wakefield - "Live music with Breaker Breaker and Wakefield Schmakefield"

7. Curt Schilling - "Schilling, Schmilling. I had to pitch against the Yankees in knee deep snow. With no shoes on. And I mean the whole nine innings, not 4 or 5 innings like you youngsters today."

8. David Ortiz - "Ortiz -Schmoritz and all the others of his ilk. The thinning of pitching talent available for active duty in the MLB is so obvious.
For hitters the environment is paradisiacal."

8.2.11 Goodly Bats corrupted by Heretical Socks

Jason Rice WINS! 4-3 in a day game that did not feature Brent Dlugach, who's been in and out of the lineup. Dlugach could be dead for all I know.

Matt Fox got the start for Pawtucket. He pitched however many innings a guy like Fox pitches in triple-A. He struck out nine batters, which has to be a season high for him. Jeremy Hermida wasn't having it, though, and hit two home runs off him. Hermida was on the PawSox last year but if there wasn't internet evidence of it I would say, No way. I'm sure I would remember Jeremy Hermida on the PawSox.

Righty Scott Carroll got the start for the Louisville Bats. When he faced Jed Lowrie in the first inning, Lowrie singled to right. And then Anderson hit a home run, so Pawtucket was up 2-0 before people could even think about their second beer. Hermida's homers tied the game up 2-2 until the ninth inning, when Mike Costanzo hit a sac fly to score catcher Devin Mesoraco. Hideki Okajima was the recipient of that run, not that he cared much.

Could it be curtains for the Red Sox? Carlos Fisher came in to close the game, got a couple of outs but walked Lin. And then Nate Spears got the devil in him. Spears hit a two-run homer and crammed a win down everyone's throats. Game over, thanks.

in my dreams you are alive and breathing:
1. Kinda sucks for Hermida that he hit two home runs with nothing to show for it except impressive biceps and a tanned, athletic physique. Does he still have that stupid beard?
2. I looked it up: Hermida certainly struck out a lot with Pawtucket!
3. Scott Atchison also pitched and Jason Rice got the win.
4. Three stolen bases for Pawtucket! WHAT NOW DEVIN MESORACO?!
5. Three double plays for Pawtucket! Jose Iglesias, you charming imp!
6. Ryan Lavarnway entered the game in the seventh inning. Lavarnway's cooling like pie on a windowsill.
7. Nate Spears said a nice thing about his teammate: "That was a great at-bat by Lin, if he doesn't do that, I don't have the opportunity," said Spears of his eighth home run of the season." (Attleboro man Peter Gobis)
8. Should Hermida return to the majors? 'Scouting the Sally' blog's Mike Newman wants to tell you all about it.
9. I linked to this JT gent before. Here on 'The Writer's Journey' he speaks briefly of Hermida.
10. JT's bio reads: "Music lover, occasional writer, wishing he had immeasurable wealth so he didn't have to work a "real job." Holy crap, this guy is my male counterpart!
11. Hermida pops up in some story headlined "Bats Clip Red Wings In Series Finale". IF I EVER START CRANKING OUT LAME, BIG MEDIA BULLSHIT HEADLINES LIKE THAT JUST SHOOT ME ALREADY. I fucking hate that crap. Can we all agree that those stupid sports puns are tired, tired, tired? Why can't everyone collectively agree to make this stuff go away? DONNIE COLLINS I KNOW YOU HEAR ME!!!
12. And finally, forum member 'Bates1343' had this to say in a post titled 'Digging up old players to fill roster spots':

Pawtucket and Portland cant keep up this pace of having a light bench. Besides Jed coming in on rehab, who else is going to fill these roster spots? What will it take for the Reds to hand Jorge Jimenez over for the rest of the year. They stuck him at High-A when we had him in AAA. Jeff Corsaletti was always a great hitter, but I hear he retired. Jeff Natale was a great defensive infielder. Iggy Suarez anyone? Have a good night

I only included this because I laughed and laughed when I read it.

Tonight! Pawtucket Red Sox get krunk because there is no game. Or, more likely, they got wasted LAST night because they knew they could sleep late today. I'll bet they went DOWNTOWN, probably to some lame, vacuous dress code club that plays bad, endless house music. I'll bet Nate Spears hangs out in the VIP section, because you know that guy totally would.

HERMIDA!!!!!

8.1.11 Red Sox v Bats - Edinson Volquez Night

Jordan Smith, oh, no. Pawtucket WINS! 4-3, just when you thought it was over.

Kyle Weiland gave up two home runs, just to get that out of the way. There is no way around it, the kid gave up two home runs. Daniel Dorn, who I swear used to be 'Danny' Dorn, hit one of them. Chris Valaika the other. Weiland used less than 100 pitches during his seven innings, giving up three runs on seven hits. Five strikeouts! One walk! Not bad.

The incredible, edible Edinson Volquez shoulda had this in the bag for Louisville, but Jordan Smith crapped all over his decent start. Volquez gave up two runs in seven innings, both of them solo home runs (Exposito, Luna). He struck out six PawSox schmucks, too. Volquez was heading for a win, although I'm sure he knew the risks of keeping it. It's triple-A, after all.

The Bats were ahead 3-2 going into the bottom of the ninth. Jordan Smith was in trying to get the save. Nate Spears led off with a single, advanced to second on a groundout. And then Dlugach popped out, so it was looking pretty good. Next up was Bermudez, but Nava was pinch hitting. He's a switch hitter and Bermudez is a righty and Jordan Smith is a righty, but you knew that. And Daniel Nava walked.

Jordan Smith, big kid from Utah who's made it to the big leagues, lover of animals, friend to the aliens, trying to get the last out hit Che-Hsuan Lin with a pitch. I have to laugh a little about that. You just have to cringe for everyone involved. Bases loaded for Tony Thomas! No, it was in fact Jose Iglesias, who entered the game after Jed Lowrie had put in his hard three innings.

Jordan Smith walked Iglesias, bringing Nate Spears across to tie the game. And then he walked Lavarnway to walk in the winning run. What the hell happened out there? One of the least exciting ways to win a game, that's what I say.

Reliever Michael Bowden got the win. One of these days I am going to sit down and talk about Bowden, but that day is not today.

down by the riverside:
1. Tommy Hottovy also pitched.
2. Outside of the lefty/righty thing, is Bermudez so different from Nava? Just think about that for a minute. I'll wait.
3. Jed Lowrie is rehabbing in Pawtucket. Again. Like, the minute he walks into the door at the donut shop in Pawtucket they say, "Oh, hi. Large regular, right?"
4. Jed Lowrie is so unbearably boring. I can't believe he is still hanging around. Just get rid of him, seriously.
5. HA! Attleboro's Peter Gobis titled his game story "Lowrie no stranger in Pawtucket".
6. CF Denis Phipps went 3-4. People love his arm, too. Phipps is a very recent call-up and there's so much buzz.

This afternoon! All my plans are ruined! I didn't know it was a day game so I organized an outing that went up in smoke because people have to, like, work and stuff. But Scott Carroll's pitching for Louisville and Matt Fox for Pawtucket so if you can sneak out... Don't. Yesterday's matchup was much more interesting.

DENIS PHIPPS!!!!

7.31.2011 Pawtucket Red Sox v Louisville Bats - Alcoholism

Louisville Bats win, Pawtucket deserved to lose. The Bats got 17 hits. Dave Chappelle got four hits. Mike Costanzo got three. Final score 7-2, although it could have been, maybe should have been worse. Louisville left 11 runners on base and the clutchiest Bats that ever clutched were Dave Sappelt (CF), Corky Miller (AA), and Jeremy Hermida (VD). All those guys came up with two outs and batted someone in.

I am going to attempt to untangle all the numbers. Tony Pena got the start for the Red Sox, went five innings and gave up four runs on nine hits, including a home run by Jose Castro that happened only in Pena's paranoid little mind.

Starting for Louisville was Daryl Thompson, a righty and a model train enthusiast. Thompson was damn good, getting into the seventh inning with 105 pitches, only giving up the one run. Thompson struck out Spears, Iglesias (twice), Bermudez, Anderson, Lin, and Exposito. YEAH!

Pawtucket scored their first run in the first inning, when Che-Hsuan Lin led off with a walk, stole second, advanced to third on a balk, scooted over to fourth on a passed ball, and got to fifth on a wild pitch. And then Lavarnway batted Lin over for the 1-0 lead.

The second run? How much time do you have, because it came much later in the eighth inning. Lavarnway doubled, stole third, and then told Hector Luna to go ahead and hit a lame-ass infield single, just to prove he could score on that shit.

Pena's relief corps consisted of Santeliz, Ring, and Rice. The Bats gave us Vandy stud Nick Christiani and Jeremy Horst, who is not a stud of any sort.

you eat all that dog food yourself?
1. It was Ryan Lavarnway's first PawSox stolen base. And only his third, professionally. Christiani must have no game at all and Corky Miller must have been half asleep.
2. Brendan McGair gets into Lavarnway's steal a little bit more.
3. Because the Providence paper cannot write about Lars Anderson without including some Chili Davis quotes about his hitting progress... Here you go. Shit happens, Anderson.
4. DAVE SAPPELT EXCLUSIVE SEX TAPE!!! Minus sex and probably also minus tape.

TONIGHT! More Louisville Bats and more Danny Dorn. And if you're intrigued by the mysterious Edinson Volquez, well, tonight is your night. Kyle Weiland will oppose. Should be a good crowd, with one exception.

Chili Davis, what do you think of that?