That man was Adam Hyzdu.

Been getting a weird amount of Adam Hyzdu inquiries lately. Not sure why. All I can think is maybe people want him to manage the Red Sox?

'Bruce Springsteeen children' is also rocketing up the charts. Of course.

I should do another 'Search Term Sunday'.

Yup. That's pretty much what I expected to see.

The Durham Bulls ballpark is really nice. And, O! The beer! So many to try!

Pawtucket seemed listless and way overmatched. Game was essentially over in the third inning. Or even the second. Bryce Brentz couldn't catch, Figueroa couldn't pitch, no one seemed to be able to hit.

But there was one member of the Pawtucket Red Sox that was hella sharp, energetic, on their game, firing on all cylinders and going completely gorilla. And that was Paws. Paws came with his A-game and that certain post-season joie de vivre that is so important on the field. Superlative work, Paws!

And then it rained.

I'll be home tomorrow.

I'm not happy unless you're happy, PawSox.

So you must be happy, because I'm happy.

I just sewed up my trip to North Carolina to see the Triple-A Championship Game featuring the Pawtucket Red Sox and either Reno or Omaha. I leave on Monday. I return Thursday. I'm crazy like that.

Have I ever told you that I used to live in Reno? Long story. LONG story.

By the way, you want this? Come get it! I'm right here!

Beer'd Off Block Party Yard Sale Neighborhood Providence West Side Neighbor Fest Mustache

Once again I will be a guest judge at the above event.

So if you wanna come say hi. Maybe I'll give some PawSox Heavy shit out, like free pens or something. At the very least, let me buy you a beer.

I'll be the fatass baseball fashion victim.

I love you.

9.13.12 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Charlotte Knights - Cool in my blood, warm in my heart.

I wish I could have been there, I think. 4-1 Pawtucket, Nelson Figueroa goes six good, good innings. The PawSox win the Governor's Cup and I am so detached from it all. Me, of all people, missed it. Bummer, right?

Figueroa only gave up one run, but seven hits and Charlotte just could not deliver. I really thought the Knights were going to run roughshod over Pawtucket back home, I really did. I must tell you I like a little bit more of a fight in playoff situations. A sweep is boring. I like spit and dirt and nails. I also like Manny Machado.

Figueroa struck out fiveand didn't walk anybody. And I don't know much about center fielder Trayce Thompson but he made the last out twice with runners waiting to score.

Scott Carroll started for Charlotte, pitched 6 1/3 innings. Seventh inning, Pawtucket started crawling up his ass and he was up to 97 pitches so it was time to grab his hat and overcoat and head home. Reliever Santos Rodriguez and Brandon Kloess kept the Red Sox scoreless, but it was too late.

Here's how the scoring went down. Second inning, Danny Valencia led off with a single. Then Andy LaRoche doubled. I don't really care for either one of those guys, but okay. Thanks, Elvis. Catcher Mike Rivera, who I do like, hit a softy to left and Valencia scored. Then Che-Hsuan Lin hit a sac fly to score LaRoche. 2-0.

The Knights scored a run in the fifth inning. Carlos Sanchez hit and RBI single, which he attempted to extend into two bases, but was caught in a pickle and was eventually tagged out by Ryan Dent.

In the seventh inning, Lin reached on an error by Sanchez (I see a scapegoat emerging) and then scored when Jeremy Hazelbaker tripled. Hazelbaker's pants are insanely hiked up. He looks like John Olerud without the helmet sometimes. He's built like a wooden clothespin. But FUCK YEAH TRIPLE.

Hazelbaker later scored on a line drive single by JC Linares. Will Inman, Jose De La Torre, and Josh Fields pitched an inning apiece, putting away the Knights with little muss. And not a hit between them. Come on, Charlotte. Come on.

i know someday i'll be the only one:
1. Bryce Brentz did not get a hit, instead electing to strike out four times. WHERE'S YOUR MESSIAH NOW?

2. "The Pawtucket Red Sox haven't won the International League title since 1984, but thanks to Thursday night's victory over Charlotte, the Triple-A affiliate of the Boston Red Sox swept their way to one. Nelson Figueroa was the winning pitcher in the effort, which Pawtucket took 4-1, powered by hits from six different batters, as well as RBI from four." - Marc Normandin is a great guy, wicked smart.

3. "The Pawtucket Red Sox will travel to Durham, NC to await the champion of the PCL to take them on in AAA's Super Bowl on Tuesday night." - Thanks, Ted's Army. I'm going to ride my bicycle down there immediately.

Yeah. I'm glad everyone's so psyched about this, especially since Boston's in the sewer. I'm going to withhold further comment, because I don't want to get too whiny.

Just know that I've been doing this for a long time.

9.12.12 Pawtucket v Charlotte - It Would Be Better If

Dan Butler does stuff sometimes. Pawtucket wins 2-0 with no Gomez, no Ciriaco, no Middlebrooks or Lavarnway.

Pawtucket starter Zach Stewart pitched six scoreless innings, gave up four hits. And a walk. And he struck out four. And he danced. Like a wave on the ocean romance.

Charles Shirek was Head Righty in Charge for the Charlotte Knights. Shirek pitched seven innings, gave up both Pawtucket runs.

Dan Butler hit a solo home run in the second inning to score the Red Sox' first run. Butler also singled with one out in the fifth, allowing Che-Hsuan Lin to get him over with a double. I am officially Interested In Dan Butler, so we'll talk about him at some point.

Wait, that sounds like I want to ask him out... That's not the case. I would just like to engage in a water balloon fight with Dan Butler, is all. Fuck, yeah.

Relievers Pedro Beato, Alex Wilson, and Jose De La Torre were parfait, and to them we possibly owe this win. Zach Stewart gets it, though, so he's a lad o' pairts.

two things:
1. "That the PawSox have made it this far is somewhat surprising, given the turnover their roster has had." - Yeah, dude, not for nothing. (Mullen)

2. Please enjoy sexy beefcake shots of Dan Butler. Oh, look, here's more. This one is not a picture by someone with blazing pants, but it serves a purpose.

3. Danny Valencia also hit a double. Hee made an error.

4. "When Carlos Sanchez lofted a bloop to short center, it looked like it was going to fall in, but after breaking back, Lin reversed himself and came sprinting in to make a basket catch at the last moment. Lin looked up to see Mitchell on second base, and so tried to throw, while still running. Lin's throw was accurate, but it hit the ground about halfway to the infield, and took about 57 bounces before first baseman Nate Spears could scoop it up for the doubleplay, just before Mitchell got back to first." - Jay Miller, whose PawSox coverage is excellent.

5. "In a classy salute to the paying customers that took place afterwards, the PawSox players and coaches came out of the dugout and doffed their caps to show their appreciation of the fans’ support." - McGair. I would also like to add that Brendan McGair's opening lines almost always crack me up.

6. "PawSox manager Arnie Beyeler likes to point out that each playoff game has been the equivalent of a box of chocolates – you just never know who’s going to play the role of hero on a given night." - Exactly what I am talking about. (ibid.)

7. "Beyeler mentioned that he’s received well wishes via text from several ex-PawSox players, the list including Ryan Lavarnway, Jose Iglesias and Mauro Gomez. “I heard they were watching our game (last Saturday night in Rochester) during the rain delay (in Boston),” said Beyeler. “It’s nice that they care enough to pay attention.” - McGair killing it this wk.

8. I'd like to serve HIS purpose, if you know what I mean!

RIGHT NOW! Nelson Figueroa v Scott Carroll. Sorry, I slept all damn day. It was my turn. A win could become a win, and then Omaha or Reno. Heard the PCL is hitterish, but who knows?

9.11.12 Pawtucket v Charlotte - Not as Good

Pawtucket wins 7-2, but in kind of a bummer way because the Knights starter was injured and had to leave the game in the first inning. I mean, I'll take it, but it seems unfair.

Starter for Pawtucket was Steven Wright, who's been decent. Wright's first inning didn't look too cute, what with a few singles and a walk, and Dan Butler looking awkward, but everything smoothed out and Wright went on to pitch seven innings. Wright threw 107 pitches, but don't freak out. He's a knuckleballer. Charlotte got six hits off Wright, leading to two runs: One in the first, one in the fourth.

Charlie Leesman started for Charlotte. Top of the first, Leesman gave up back-to-back singles to Nate Spears and Tony Thomas. JC Linares hit a ground ball infieldish, first base-ward, and as pitcher and infielder converged... Leesman put the brakes on to avoid a smash-up and effed his knee up good. Leesman down, in visible agony. After a few minutes, Leesman was assisted off the field. We all felt bad about the whole thing.

New pitcher, Andre Rienzo. Danny Valencia flew out to right, allowing Spears to score. Ah, tie game.

Bottom of the third, Danny Valencia hit a two-run homer. Danny. He certainly is a handsome devil. PawSox up 2-1. Charlotte tied it in the top of the fourth, but post-season BEASTMASTER Bryce Brentz led off the bottom of the fourth with a damn triple! Brentz scored when Jason Repko reached on a fielder's choice, putting the Red Sox up 3-2.

Seventh inning, lots of bang. Ryan Kussmaul was the new reliever for Charlotte. Nate Spears singled with one out, then Tony Thomas went deep to left, into the bullpen, where the relievers do their weird home run grandma dance. Even cooler, JC Linares hit a home run immediately after that, also into the Pawtucket bullpen. Good Valentine's.

Alex Wilson once again provided stellar post-season relief in the eighth inning, and Josh Fields slayed the ninth with his heater. Ryan Dent stepped into the ninth inning for some reason. And that was it!

una vaina asi:
1. Spears, Thomas, Linares and Brentz all got two hits. Jason Repko got zero hits and was caught stealing. Is everything okay at home, Repko?

2. "Charlotte ace Charlie Leesman was trying to field a ground ball along the first-base line with no outs in the first inning when he leaped to avoid a collision with his first baseman, came down awkwardly and then did a backward somersault across the chalk line. He needed help leaving the field and was limping severely after the game." - MacPHERSON!

3. "I felt good, and I was mainly trying to just stay back," said Wright, who was only acquired from the Cleveland system on July 31, in the trade for PawSox first baseman Lars Anderson. "In the first inning I tend to start rushing my pitches. I need to stay back and keep the ball in the zone. You can look at the layoff, but almost every single start, I struggle in the first inning. Once I figure out what I'm doing, I'm okay." - Jay Miller

What, that's it?

TONIGHT! Zach Stewart and probably Charlie Shirek. So much Charlie. Just don't drag him through the cold cuts!

Top Ten Things That Suck the Fun Out of Baseball

Numbers 1-9: Writing about baseball.

10. Inclement weather.

Good morning. Ohayo.

No starter for Pawtucket yet tonight, but the Charlotte Knights are throwing Charlie Leesman out there.

According to correspondent Jack Horan, the Knights' strength lies in their pitching: "The Knights’ strength lies in its pitching staff, which tied with Indianapolis for first in ERA (3.15) in the regular season... The Red Sox will need to produce hits to overcome Knights pitching, manager Arnie Beyeler said Monday. “They really pitch very well. Their bullpen is lights out. We’re going to have to come out and swing the bats. They’re well balanced all around, they’ve got some power. The bottom line with all these playoff games is pitching.”

Did you know that the Charlotte Knights are the Triple-A affiliate of the Chicago White Sox? How could you be so stupid?

Providence's Tim Britton writes about it, too, evidently under the influence of mushrooms: "WHO KNEW GOETHE COULD SUMMARIZE THE EMOTIONS ENTERING A MINOR-LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES SO WELL? Goethe loved baseball."

Okay, what do I know? Brendan McGair claims that Steven Wright is starting tonight.

All the cool kids have now decided that they need to cover Pawtucket and stink up the press box. Yeah, thanks for this. Let me give you a piece of advice, Junior: Your music make sense to no one... But yourself.

I'll be there, too, just as I always have been.

Read more here: http://www.charlotteobserver.com/2012/09/10/3520193/pitching-takes-front-seat-vs-sox.html#storylink=cpy

Read more here: http://www.charlotteobserver.com/2012/09/10/3520193/pitching-takes-front-seat-vs-sox.html#storylink=cpy

9.8.12 Red Sox @ Yankees - Goodbye, Melky.

Pawtucket wins 7-1, advances in the playoffs. They're going to play Charlotte. I was rooting for the Indians. The Knights are mad tough.

Thank you, Nelson Figueroa. He was awesome, pitched eight one-run innings for the PawSox. That one run was a homer by Corban Joseph in the fourth inning. Figueroa gave up two hits and a walk and threw 118 pitches, which seems high until you remember that he pitched in the Mets org. Oh, yeah, Figueroa got eight strikeouts, too. Superlative effort.

Lefty Vidal Nuno pitched 1 2/3 innings and then had to take a powder, since it was him alone giving up seven runs to Pawtucket. Sorry, Nuno. I do feel bad for this kid. All the runs for Pawtucket came in that second inning, with more singles than Foreigner 4. So when Joseph hit his solo shot in the fourth, the result was that 7-1 final score that remained unchanged for the rest of the game.

So what happened in the second inning? Andy LaRoche led off with a single. There you go, good night.

No, what happened was Bryce Brentz and Dan Butler hit consecutive singles after that. Nuno got Jason Repko to pop up to second (infield fly rule, just ask Vee), but then Jonathan Hee hit an RBI single and Jeremy Hazelbaker hit an RBI single.

Then Tony Thomas singled! No, Thomas grounded into a force, but it scored Dan Butler. Next guy was JC Linares, who singled. Hee scores! Who scores? Hee does.

Danny Valencia was next, batting just ahead of LaRoche again. I bet people get those two mixed up a lot. Especially your mom. Valencia saw a pitch, banged it to left field. Home run! Three more runs in! And that was it. Kelvin Perez came in to pitch, got LaRoche out, ended the inning.

Alex Wilson pitched the ninth. Uno-dos-tres, five effing pitches. Who is this playoffs Alex Wilson and where's he been hiding all season? Is he real life?

two things:
1. Bryce Brentz also hit a double at some point. Post-season MVP? Maybe?

2. Only Tony Thomas was hitless. Sorry.

3. "After the game, Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Yankees radio play-by-play announcer and team spokesman Mike Vander Woude announced that he would be stepping down from his positions to devote more time to his family." - Aw. Hyder, don't get any ideas.

4. Also: "The Scranton/Wilkes-Barre franchise will open its 24th season at the renovated stadium on April 4, 2013 against Pawtucket." - Oh, so the schedule's set, then? And will they be the Trolley Frogs or what?

5. In case you didn't know, Figueroa had been pitching for the Yankees before they released him and Pawtucket picked him up. Figueroa's a New Yorker, so the whole thing kind of sucked for him: "When a team releases you,” said Figueroa, “you put that chip on your shoulder and carry it for a little while. You always want to prove you’re not done. I knew I wasn’t done by a long shot. The same thing that worked for me for 17 years worked for me tonight.”

6. Corban Joseph is dumb: “It’s been a grind,” Joseph said. “It’s something no other team has done before.” No? No other team in the history of baseball has played without a home park? Look it up, butthead.

7. So I watched highlights of the Yankees/Orioles game last night, and yeah, that was a blown call at first. But oh my god, is it ever nice to see a call NOT go the Yankees way. I know it's wrong... But it feels so right.

TUESDAY NIGHT! Playoffs v Charlotte Knights. I don't know who's pitching. I'm mega-bitter that I won't be attending unless I can pull off a miracle. I need a field reporter!

Bye!

9.7.12 Red Sox in Rochester with Yankees.

Pawtucket gets socked on the jaw in the ninth and loses 4-3. Oh, damn, that was so close.

Billy Buckner started for the PawSox, pitched six 1/3 scoreless innings. He racked up seven strikeouts and left the game with a 2-0 lead, whistling and swinging his lunch pail the whole way home.

Starting lefty for the Scranton Yankees was Michael O'Connor, who we have seen before. Like, last week. O'Connor pitched six innings and gave up two home runs: A solo home run by Bryce Brentz and a solo home run by Mike Rivera, both coming in the second inning. Why thank you, Bryce, for being such a nice boy.

So after Second Inning Homer Time, no one scored for like, ever. Then, in the eighth inning, Jason Repko singled to right off reliever Manny Delcarmen. Oh, Manny. How I loved you. Repko dashed over to second on a throwing error by RF Cole Garner. Thus unsettled, Delcarmen threw a wild pitch to Tony Thomas, getting Repko to third. Tony Thomas induced the wild pitch WITH HIS MIND, YOU GUYS. Thomas got caught looking, sadly, but Ryota Igarashi took the wheel from Delcarmen to face JC Linares. Linares tripled! YEAH! Repko scores, Jesus saves, Smokey sings!

Brace yourself for the bad stuff. Brock Huntzinger was pitching the bottom of the eighth and Gustavo Molina hit a bomb to left. 3-1. Manageable, right? So who comes in to pitch the ninth? Mark Melancon? Travis Hughes? Fernando Cabrera? Michael Bowden, even? No, Tony Pena Jr. Thanks for this. Pena gave up an RBI single to Ronnier Mustelier and it was 3-2 and Pena was extricated from this development. Pedro Beato was entrusted with two outs. He got one, but... But... Yeah, Melky Mesa hit a two-run homer to walk off with the win for the Scrankees. I am really starting to hate Melky Mesa and his PawSox-killing ways. I am not angry with Pedro Beato, but I hope Pena repeatedly steps on a rake and gets it in the mush.

how could i ever have lost you when i love you:
1. Did you know that Chris Smith got 15 saves for the PawSox in 2008? I did not. I don't remember that guy being a closer at any point, but yeah, he led the team in saves. No one cares about this but me.

2. In case you felt like throwing up: "At 10:27, Frank Sinatra’s “New York, New York” began playing over the loudspeaker at the Yankees rushed to home plate to smother their hero of the night with love." - Jim Mandelaro

Geez, I guess that's it. Do you know who Vidal Nuno? No, he's not a guitar player. He's starting for SWB tonight v Pawtucket. But it's okay, we have Nelson Figueroa, who I hope can set down all the baby Yankees like Murton and Mesa. Don't make me sad, Nelson.

Paz afuera.

9.6.12 Pawtucket v SWB - Whoops.

Incredibly, Pawtucket won this game 3-2. Win goes to Scott Atchison, veteran reliever and opener of pickle jars. Ramon Ortiz was the losing pitcher, which was really too bad because only one of his three runs was earned.

Lefty Chris Hernandez started for Pawtucket and I almost immediately began to worry, as he didn't look terribly sharp. But he got the outs he needed! Hernandez' six innings included four hits, two walks, a wild pitch, and a balk. He struck out six and both runs were charged to him. On his Earned Run Credit Card, with an annual APR of 12.9%. The Yankees got both their runs in the second inning, using a couple of hits and a walk and a balk and a groundout to get that shit across.

Ramon Ortiz effectively stymied the PawSox up until the fifth. I saw a million infield pop-ups during his appearance, and you would be surprised at how enraging they are. GAH THE FREAKING SECOND BASEMAN HAS IT!!! At last, catcher Dan Butler reached second base on an error in the fifth inning and Bryce Brentz doubled him in.

But the Red Sox were still down a run, and no one was really hitting anything. At last, in the seventh inning, third baseman Nate Spears led off with a double. Bryce Brentz, suddenly a key hitter, singled, scoring Spears. TIE GAME! But even better, shortstop Jonathan Hee also singled. Brentz made it to third, but the throw in from right field was off target, and Brentz was able to make it across home plate. Ortiz OUT! Enter Juan Cedeno for one out, and big ol' Preston Claiborne for the last one. Clever voiving, Dave Miley.

Will Inman got a couple of post-Atchison outs, and then Jose De La Torre came in to close things out. And oh, lord, it was not easy. First of all, De La Torre was all sweaty and gross and spazzy. Large first baseman Luke Murton hit a single. Melky Mesa and Kevin Romine really worked the count on De La Torre, but he managed to get them to strike out. The he walked Cole Garner, it was awful. Next batter, Ramiro Pena, hit a ball deep to center... But no, Linares caught it and game over. WHEW!

two things:
1. "And if Pawtucket has bid farewell for the moment to a pair of superb shortstops in Jose Iglesias and Pedro Ciriaco--both of whom have been promoted to Boston--there's no shortage of glove at the shortstop position, as the pride of the University of Hawaii, Jonathan Hee, is doing a terrific job, including starting two critical doubleplays Thursday night that killed Scranton/Wilkes-Barre rallies." - Uh, maybe. I don't think Hee is that great a shortstop. Yeah, he got the DPs, but he's kind of graceless. (Cool story, Jay Miller.)

2. JC Linares also got a couple of hits. And he played center, which must be an act of desperation. Where's Lin? And why does Jeremy Hazelbaker hike his pants up so high?

3. Mike Scandura! "Nate Spears lofted a “nine iron” down the left field line which fell between Russo, shortstop Ramiro Pena and left fielder Ronnie Mustellier for a double. "

4. PawSox Blog! "In his last start, which coincidentally was against the Yankees and tonight’s starter Ramon Ortiz, the Florida native pitched the curve ball a total of three times; today he used it six times, with one being the final pitch of his fourth strikeout. “Not going into it,” responded Hernandez when asked if his increased curveball usage was part of the game plan prior to tonight’s affair. “It worked well tonight, and we’re here to win so we (him and Dan Butler) didn’t shy away from it. It felt good and I felt good throwing it, so we kept going with it.”

5. Peter Gobis! "The PawSox knotted the score at 2-2 in the seventh inning on two bizarre bloopers. First Nate Spears lofted a blooper down the left field line that three SWB fielders converged upon, but none could grab, the PawSox third baseman winding up on second base. An out later, Brentz took two wild swings at breaking ball pitches from Yankee RHP Ramon Ortiz, then blooped an RBI-single into short right field." That's a lot of blooping.

6. Over in the other playoffs, the Charlotte Knights are also up two games to none. Uh-oh!

7. Playoffs continue tonight in Rochester, and they have a lot of special things going on.

8. I have to admit, this Paws and Sox graphic from Masshole Sports made me laugh.

9. Last night, I sat amongst some garrulous senior season ticket holders. I was surrounded on every side, so I felt like an unwilling participant in their conversation. What's the best way to the Cape? Who pitched last night? How's your father? They talked about Arnie Beyeler as a potential candidate for promotion, which is applesauce. But if you feel like indulging those thoughts, Kevin Thomas is here for you.

10. Here's Left Field, a blog that mentions Providence's Purple Ivy Shadows and also McCoy Stadium.

TONIGHT! Billy Buckner v Mike O'Connor. A win would be nice.

Bye.

9.5.12 Pawtucket Red Sox v Scranton Wilkes-Barre Yankees - Andy, you're a star.

Yes, it's true. Pawtucket beat the Yankees last night by coming from behind. 7-4 with home runs. Zach Stewart gets the win. Please go all the way... It feels so right...

Stewart did good, good things in the first inning, started wavering in the second, then appeared to be doomed in the third. He got up to 90 pitches in five innings and gave up four runs on seven hits. Stewart got all effed up in the third, giving up a solo home run to third basedude Kevin Russo and a two-run bomb to Luke Murton. But that was all... The Yankees would score no more.

Starter for SWB was John Maine, formerly of the Mets or something, and formerly of the PawSox for a period of time that does not exist. Maine only made it through four and two third innings, probably quietly alarmed at his pitch count going up to 104. Yes, John Maine, that's a real pickle.

The Yankees were up 4-0 at the top of the third and things weren't looking good for the Pawtuckets. But at the bottom of the third, Tony Thomas singled with one out. Doubled, sorry, he doubled. JC Linares stepped in after that and hit a home run. And then Andy LaRoche hit a home run! And so it was only 4-3, which is not at all insurmountable.

Andy LaRoche would go on to further badassery in the fifth inning, when he hit a two-run double. Uh, thanks? I should send a boo-kay, right? This was Maine's ticket to the showers, and he was replaced by Chase Whitley.

Alex Wilson picked a hell of a time to be a swing-and-miss reliever! Wilson has been so boring all season, but last night he pitched two scoreless innings with no hits or walks and three strikeouts. Where the heck did all that come from? I have never seen Wilson look so crisp. Pedro Beato came in and pitched a little bit, too. It was good relief.

Bottom of the eighth, catcher Dan Butler led off with a single. Next batter was Bryce Brentz, who hit a home run. Like a Jedi knight! No, better than that... Like a templar knight! Merciless, like Kathy Bates with that sledgehammer in that movie!

Reliever Jose De La Torre got the last couple of outs. Good game. No... Great game. How about that, Alex Speier?

two things:
1. I attended this game. I was by myself, which sucked, and the park was largely vacant. But the people who were there seemed to care a great deal! I haven't seen enthusiasm and passion like that in a long time. YAY BASEBALL.

2. And then Larry Lucchino walked by, which was crazy and unexpected and plumb crazy. Mike Gwynn appeared to be showing him around. I guess he comes down once a year, although this is the first time I have seen him.

3. SUCK IT, YANKEES.

4. "Attendance was announced at 1,518, about 1,000 more than actually present." - Yes, I would say so.

5. Repko made another crazy catch last night in center. Also, Tony Thomas went 3-4.

TONIGHT! Chris Hernandez! Not sure who's pitching for the Yankees, probably someone ugly. I have to go like right now, so bye.

Back to Taking Pictures

This is proof that if you complain loudly... And long enough... And annoyingly enough, you can potentially maybe get something you want/need. I got a camera! I feel like a million bucks, all green and wrinkled! And now I can create all my own stock photos!

Look, it's Rich Hill!



I went to Vermont!




Ryan Kalish and DAT ASS!!!!


Okay, I have to head over to McCoy for HOT! Playoff! ACTION!!!

9.3.12 I want everyone to play, including myself.

Pawtucket wins in twelve inninga, kind of, 6-4. Winning pitcher was Jonathan Hee, kind of. Losing pitcher was DH Ryan Baker, so yeah, let's get back to the countdown. And I was at this game but I had to leave it because I had to be in Boston by five and I was SO PISSED OFF.

Starting pitcher for Pawtucket was Steven Wright, and he did really well! Wright pitched six innings and gave up two runs (one unearned) on three hits, including a home run by Darnell McDonald, who once I loved. Wright got four strikeouts and walked three. Doesn't sound all that thrilling, but you had to be there. That's why box scores are both full of information, but sorely lacking. Do you know what I want to see? A breakdown of pitches per inning. As in, Wright threw 100 pitches... 16 in the first, 25 in the second, etc etc. Is anyone else interested in this information?

(I realize you can enter the play-by-play live thing, but what a pain in the ass.)

Lefty Michael O'Connor started for the Yankees. He only pitched three innings before those five other guys had to finish the game. Pawtucket scored one run off him.

Alright, let's get to the bread on the meat of my sandwich. The game was moving along at a nice clip, so I was optimistic about seeing the whole thing and post-game and so forth. Third inning, Jonathan Hee hit an RBI single. I'd say it was Hee's game all day, really. The Yankees tied it at the top of the fourth, with McDonald's solo home run.

Top of the fifth, Melky Mesa scored on a passed ball. Melky Mesa reminds me so much of Alfonso Soriano, especially in the batting stance. So the Yankees snared a 2-1 lead, which sucked. Scott Atchison was in the house and pitched the seventh very well, then new kid Brock Huntzinger came in for the eighth and... He gave up a two-run double to pinch-hitting DH and Reliever of the Future Ryan Baker. Aw, shit.

But here's where the crazy stuff begins! Bottom of the eighth, Francisco Rondon pitching. Yeah, I don't know who he is, either, but the Yankees had a lot of whippersnaps in the game that were not on the provided roster. Second baseman Ryan Dent led off with a single. Then Jeremy Hazelbaker also singled. Jon Hee stepped in, and what a second half he's had! Hee hit an RBI single, natch, scoring Dent. Hazelbaker then scored on a wild pitch and the crowd really got into it. Rondon managed to get Linares out, but he was replaced by Preston Claiborne, who does not come from old money and summer in Newport. Claiborne's sole mistake was allowing an RBI single to first baseman Andy LaRoche, but it was enough to tie the game so sucks to his aunty.

And the game went on. Jose De La Torre came in, and Juan Cedeno... Pawtucket loaded the fucking bases in the tenth with no outs, but Valencia grounded into a 5-2-3 and Bryce Brentz flew out. Juan Cedeno was pumped, and rightly so.

Josh Fields, opponent of same-sex marriage, pitched the eleventh. DH Ryan Baker pitched for the Yankees and I was driving north at this point, but the radio guys said he had like a zero combat rating. Pawtucket could not score off this soft-tossing position player, sadly. Everyone wanted to go home but of course no one wanted to concede, either, which leads to a situation like that one Red Sox/White Sox game right before the All-Star Break that was like 16 innings long.

At last, in the twelfth inning, JC Linares grabbed hold of the reins and hit a walk-off home run. Was that so hard? Hyder's post-game guy was Hee, whose 12th inning relief game was tight. Hee had nearly nothing to say and Hyder proclaimed the interview to be unworthy of applause.

wao:
1. Slim killer Jon Hee went 3-5 with two RBI. I bowled with this guy! He was very nice. I would consider bowling with him again.

2. Pawtucket racked up 13 hits, none of which came from Andy LaRoche. Bryce Brentz got his first triple-A hit and I noticed they saved the ball for him.

3. Some things here about mysterious catcher Dan Butler. What is not mentioned is Butler's impressive jacked physique, particularly his Hugh Jarms.

4. I'm so depressed about the IronPigs not being in the playoffs. I wanted them there. I don't want to play the horrible, smelly, ugly, stupid, Yankees. A few teams in the IL had their last games of the season ruined by rain, which is so sad it hurts my heart. I want everyone to play. What will I do without the Bisons and stuff?

Well, Pawtucket's got a hard road ahead. Day off today, then Zach Stewart will attempt to take down John Maine. Good news is I'll be at the park Wednesday and Thursday. Good news for me, but not for you because I ruin everybody's lives and eat all their steak. And who knows? Maybe I'll go to Rochester.

I'm almost finished...

[Busta Rhymes]
Don't this shit make a nigga wanna (JUMP JUMP!!!!)
Don't this shit make a nigga wanna (JUMP JUMP!!!!)
Don't this shit make a nigga wanna (JUMP JUMP!!!!)
Don't this shit make a nigga wanna (JUMP JUMP!!!!)
Don't this shit make a nigga wanna (JUMP JUMP!!!!)
Don't this shit make a nigga wanna (JUMP JUMP!!!!)
Don't this shit make a nigga wanna (JUMP JUMP!!!!)
Don't this shit make a nigga wanna (JUMP JUMP!!!!)
Don't this shit make a nigga wanna

[Busta Rhymes]
Act a fool you better watch out (Uh-huh)
Hot shit be ringin the cops out (Come On)
Street niggas is ringin them shots out

[P. Diddy]
Short circuits blacken the blocks out
Now open up the garage and pull the drops out
Rockin the fur coat bringin the blue fox out

[Busta Rhymes]
Diamonds light up the block runnin the blue rocks out (Uh)
Wylin till all of my crew knocked out (Come On)


[P. Diddy] Get yo' ass up on the floor (Huh!)
[Rhymes] Throw ya hands if you wan't some more (Ho!!!)

[P. Diddy]
Baby, we'll leave your crotch out
And peep the way we be blowin them spots out

[Busta Rhymes]
Come on, look how we got 'em ready to act out
Girl, I'm ready to give it twistin your back out (Let's go)

[P. Diddy] Drink yack till a nigga fallin out
[Rhymes] Flat on his back now watch a nigga crawlin out, talk to me

[Refrain : Pharell] + (Busta Rhymes)
I said Busta (What's up son?)
Leave them girl rollin....And it look like (Come on)
They asses is swollen (And they ass gettin big now)
But if your man baby sittin, then what you gon' say
(What we gon' tell 'em man?)
We gon' tell that nigga (Pass the Courvoisier)
We gon' tell that brotha (Pass the Courvoisier)
Everybody sing it now {*Pass the Courvoisier*}
Everybody sing it now {*Pass the Courvoisier*}
Waah oooooooooooo oh!!

[P. Diddy] Girl you need to shake it off
[Rhymes] Too much hair on your chocha
[P. Diddy] Shave it off
[Rhymes] Come on, jump smack your ass and break it off
[P. Diddy] And if it's too hot for y'all?
[Rhymes] You need to take it off
[P. Diddy] In case you ain't knowin niggas we on a roll now


[Busta Rhymes]
Diddy, like we done stumbled on a pot of gold now (Come On)
Food spillin all out of the bowl now (Huh)
Money thick and heart of the fold now (Come On)

[P. Diddy] Ladies tell me if your feelin {*alright*}
[Rhymes] And are ya sure that your up for doin it {*all night*}
[P. Diddy] I Like this

[Busta Rhymes]
Listen, before you ass bent, nigga
We wreck shit and we ain't even blacked yet (Come On)

[P. Diddy]
Niggas all around and it's to rightfully shut down the block

[Busta Rhymes]
Chain the club ain't even packed yet (Come On)
Nuff drinkin at the bar hold it down wylin out
Till the club is closed down, talk to me

[Refrain : Pharell] + (Busta Rhymes)
I said Busta (What's up son?)
Leave them girl rollin....And it look like (Come On)
They asses is swollen (And they ass gettin big now)
But if your man baby sittin, then what you gon' say
(What we gon' tell 'em man?)
We gon' tell that nigga (Pass the Courvoisier)
We gon' tell that brotha (Pass the Courvoisier)
Everybody sing it now {*Pass the Courvoisier*}
Everybody sing it now {*Pass the Courvoisier*}
Waah oooooooooooo oh!!


[Bridge]
(JUMP JUMP!!!!) Don't this shit make a nigga wanna
(JUMP JUMP!!!!) Don't this shit make a nigga wanna
(JUMP JUMP!!!!) Don't this shit make a nigga wanna
(JUMP JUMP!!!!) Don't this shit make a nigga wanna
(JUMP JUMP!!!!) Don't this shit make a nigga wanna
(JUMP JUMP!!!!) Don't this shit make a nigga wanna
(JUMP JUMP!!!!) Don't this shit make a nigga wanna
(JUMP JUMP!!!!) Don't this shit make a nigga wanna

[Rhymes] To rob a bank my nigga cash rule
[P. Diddy] Bust it, let's get this money and act like a damn fool
[Rhymes] Fuck it, act stupid and jump in the damn pool (Huh)
[P. Diddy] Bone bitches and me and they man's cool

[Busta Rhymes]
Should be sayin, is what you thinked up? nigga
With me and Diddy together you bankrupted (Come On)

[P. Diddy]
Fly niggas we full of finesse y'all (Yeah!)

[Busta Rhymes]
Me and my nigga is fittin to bless y'all (Come On)
Don't talk about it, be about it
(SHUT UP!!!) Live niggas come to be around it
(WADDUP, COME ON!!) Rep to the fullest now (Huh)
These niggas ain't knowin how we gone put it down (Come On)
Cocked aim to shoot

[P. Diddy] To spray it down
[Rhymes] Steam rollin you niggas
[P. Diddy] And lay it down
[Rhymes] Niggas frontin with they thug image
[P. Diddy] And we pay them no mind
[Rhymes] I don't drink until the bottle finish, talk to me

[Refrain : Pharell] + (Busta Rhymes)
I said Busta (What's up son?)
Leave them girl rollin....And it look like (Come On)
They asses is swollen (And they ass gettin big now)
But if your man baby sittin, then what you gon' say
(What we gon' tell 'em man?)
We gon' tell that nigga (Pass the Courvoisier)
We gon' tell that brotha (Pass the Courvoisier)
Everybody sing it now {*Pass the Courvoisier*}
Everybody sing it now {*Pass the Courvoisier*}
Waah oooooooooooo oh!!

[Bridge]
(JUMP JUMP!!!!) Don't this shit make a nigga wanna
(JUMP JUMP!!!!) Don't this shit make a nigga wanna
(JUMP JUMP!!!!) Don't this shit make a nigga wanna
(JUMP JUMP!!!!) Don't this shit make a nigga wanna
(JUMP JUMP!!!!) Don't this shit make a nigga wanna
(JUMP JUMP!!!!) Don't this shit make a nigga wanna
(JUMP JUMP!!!!) Don't this shit make a nigga wanna
(JUMP JUMP!!!!) Don't this shit make a nigga wanna

[Refrain : Pharell] + (Busta Rhymes)
I said Busta (What's up son?)
Leave them girl rollin....And it look like (Come On)
They asses is swollen (And they ass gettin big now)
But if your man baby sittin, then what you gon' say
(What we gon' tell 'em man?)
We gon' tell that nigga (Pass the Courvoisier)
We gon' tell that brotha (Pass the Courvoisier)
Everybody sing it now {*Pass the Courvoisier*}
Everybody sing it now {*Pass the Courvoisier*}
Waah oooooooooooo oh!!

9.2.12 Pawtucket v Scranton - I'm JC and I'm back from the dead.

Yankees win 6-2. Come on, Pawtucket, why'd you go out like that? I had a very bad day yesterday.

Starter for Pawtucket was Mike MacDonald, freshly called up from Double-A Portland. MacDonald gave up two runs on seven hits through four innings, including a hone run by Kosuke Fukudome. Okay, something good, something good... MacDonald got six K's. But even though he didn't pitch that badly, he still got the loss. Alex Wilson, I hope you're proud of yourself.

Lefty Matt Tracy started for the Yankees. He pitched five innings and gave up a run. His first reliever was Manny Delcarmen, which bums me out for some reason. I miss the Delcarmen Era in Pawtucket, is all. Adam Hyzdu... Petagine... Abe Alvarez... How long have I been doing this? Please kill me.

First inning, Yankees up and they hit three consecutive singles before an out was recorded. So that set things up nicely for Fukudome, who hit a sac fly. Which was cute and everything and scored a run, but was that really the best he could do against the Freshie? 1-0 SWB.

Bottom of the second, Tracy walked Andy LaRoche and Bryce Brentz. L&B moved up a base on a wild pitch, and then catcher Mike Rivera reached on a fielder's choice that scored LaRoche. Which is French for 'The Rock'.

So my BFF Tony Pena came in to pitch the fifth inning and he immediately hit Mustelier and Fukudome with pitches. JESUS CHRIST TONY PENA WILL YOU GO AWAY ALREADY?! I mean, they get rid of Prior but they keep this guy?! I don't know, maybe he's a swell guy who brings in a box of donuts every morning and helps people fill out their forms. Anyway, at some point smugly handsome catcher Austin Romine hit a sac fly and it was 3-1.

I forgot to tell you that Fukudome hit a solo home run in the third. In a way, Mustelier and Fukudome deserved the HBP.

Sixth inning, Delcarmen was shaky, nabbed the first two outs with little fuss but then walked Repko and then Nate Spears wound up hitting a line drive RBI single to center. So then it was 3-2 and that's not so bad, is it?

Yeah, not so fast. Wilson pitched the eighth and gave up three runs. Pitcher of the Year.

Okay, here we go.

two things:
1. I guess Jason Repko made the defensive play of the year in the first inning, when Fukudome hit the ball deep, like grand slam territory, but Repko went balls-out and nabbed it and tumbled into the bullpen. Do you not see how I make the box score come alive?

2. Another less-interesting website describes it thusly: "They could have had more when Kosuke Fukudome lifted a potential grand slam only to hhave the ball caught by Pawtucket left fielder Jason Repko has he flipped over the four-foot fence." (sic)

3. The PawSox were 1-11 with runners in scoring position and left 10 runners on base. This whole losing to the Yankees thing is worrisome, because that's who they have to beat to advance in the playoffs. I think Boston should send down reinforcements, instead of taking De Jesus...

Well, that's all I have. Nate Spears was ejected, but I can't discern the reason because sportswriters get lazy on Sunday games. Nate Spears is one of those guys that I will miss terribly when he's gone.

This afternoon it's the final game of the regular season. Steven Wright will hopefully dismantle the Yankees offense. Some guy O'Connor will oppose. Are we done yet?

9.1.12 Pawtucket v Scranton Wilkes-Barre - The Butler Did It

Pawtucket WINS! 2-0. Which is too bad because there's nothing I like to see more than the Yankees winning every day, all the time. Ha.

Nelson Figueroa was a stand-up guy, pitching eight scoreless innings for the PawSox whilst giving up four hits and a walk. Psssht, anyone could have done that. Figueroa also struck out six Yankees: Guys like Melky Mesa and Darnell McDonald. Good, because Mesa totally douched the PawSox recently.

Starter for the Yankees was large righty Chase Whitley. Whitley pitched four scoreless innings and thought it would be pretty funny to hit Tony Thomas with a pitch. WELL NO ONE'S LAUGHING, MISTER WHITLEY.

The offense is, am, was, are, and be catcher Dan Butler, who hit two solo home runs. I really need to figure out who this guy is. Josh Fields pitched the ninth inning and got the save, so there you go. Pawtucket wins the wild card and the team is playoff bound. The good news is that Boston doesn't seem to be interested in seizing any of the players. The bad news is that they still have Rich Hill and Ciriaco and Gomez. Middlebrooks, Schmiddlebrooks!

Sorry, IronPigs. I really was hoping it would be us...

two things:
1. They gave the Spirit Award to Tony Thomas, who truly deserved it. Didn't Jeff Natale win it once? Bubba Bell? Something...

2. Wow, this game was zippy: Two hours and fifteen minutes! Why do I never go to these games?

3. Hazelbaker doubled, Jonathan Hee got two hits.

4. Joe McDonald tells you all about it: "As the veteran Figueroa put it, the players on this team have done a lot of "ego swallowing" with so many of their former PawSox teammates getting called to the big leagues. "You realize how much it took to get here, so we're very appreciative of it," he said. "This will not be the only taste of champagne we have."

5. Bryce "Gumbo" Brentz is on the team now. He may or may not be the same guy as Bryson Brentz.

THIS AFTERNOON! Last game of the series... No, penultimate, sorry. No starters have been announced, but perhaps we'll see, say, Andy LaRoche on the hill for the Red Sox. I'd like to see Rich Sauveur pitch, since he talks the talk BUT CAN HE WALK THE WALK?! YOU THINK IT'S SO EASY WHY DON'T YOU DO IT?!

I'll see you on Labor Day at the park. Oh, crap, that's tomorrow? Yes, I'll see you then... Tonight, you know where I'll be.

IDAWAHIO!!!

8.31.12 PawSox v Yankees - Push

No playoffs yet, guys. Yankees win 4-3 and it is primarily Pedro Beato's fault. Starter Ramon Ortiz gets the win, Chris Hernandez the loss.

Hernandez pitched six innings and gave up three runs on seven hits, including two home runs by CF Melky Mesa. Damn you, Mesa! Hernandez came in for the seventh inning, which sounds like they were pushing it but his sixth inning was pretty breezy. But a double, a home run, and a single right off the bat is a sign that you're all done.

Ortiz pitched seven innings, gave up three runs on seven hits. One of them was a home run courtesy of Danny Valencia that went right over my head in the outfield, over everything, bounced off a car and rolled through the parking lot and into the night and then went to the alley to hang out in garbage cans with some stray cats.

Jason Repko tripled in the bottom of the seventh to give Pawtucket their third run. I'm skipping over a lot because I am really short on time... Sorry I haven't been around. I need a new job. One that won't make me sick.

two things:
1. Fresh fish Jeremy Hazelbaker went 3-4. Danny Valencia was responsible for two RBI with his giant home run. Oh, Valencia - I swear I'll burn this whole city down.

2. LF Ronnier Mustleier went 4-4, which is pretty good for a fatass.

3. I was at this game for a little while. It was well-attended. I’ve been involved in a number of cults both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower but you make more money as a leader.

Okay, I'm going to the park for some Arnie. TTYL.