4.16.14 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Rochester Red Wings (MIN) - His Name's Clarence

Pawtucket wins, 7-6. Winning pitcher was reliever Tommy Layne. Loss goes to lefty Scott Diamond, who we've definitely seen before.

Starter for Pawtucket was Brandon Workman, who resents have to pitch in Rochester, NY and loves to flash his ring around. He only pitched 3 1/3 innings, gave up three runs. Workman threw 62 pitches, 38 for strikes. I don't know what's going on and it's incredibly fucking annoying. JENNIFER SMASH!!

I just want to post this comment that was left on a sports "blog" that's on a radio station website: "Send Dubbi down where he belongs.. While he's down there put him on a diet, a strength and conditioning program, and a meeting with a sports psyche doc. I think Workmans being sent down,even though he will start every 5 days, gives Dubbi more starts that he does not deserve. Juan Nueves probably wanted to keep Workman up but Farrell over ruled to keepDubbi up."

So Brandon Workman is crazy? Who says so? I know plenty of ladies who would love to fuck the crazy out of Brandon Workman, just saying. I think what I'm trying to say is as much as I get sick and tired of "pitched 5 2/3 gave up three runs threw 78 pitches blah blah blah" I also hate weird, unresolved and unexplained starts. Should we call Brandon Workman? Let's call him right now! "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

Starter for Rochester was lefty Scott Diamond. Diamond pitched four innings and the PawSox loved him to death, getting 11 hits, mostly doubles.

You wanna talk about the hitting? Let's talk about it, then. First slowly, then fastly. The scoring started in the third inning, when my son Heiker Meneses led off with a single. Brock Holt followed with a single... And then Alex hassan hit an RBI double. ALL THE YOUNG GIRLS LOVE ALEX! Brandon Snyder sac fly, Bryce Brentz RBI single, you put the pieces all together. 3-0 Red Sox.

Inning 4: Mike McCoy led off with a single, Meneses doubled. Brock Holt singled... Haven't we seen this  movie before? And Alex Hassan doubled and Dan Butler drove in two runs with his powerful, sexy arms that held the bat like a kitten in a whiskey bottle. In slow motion.

I'm in the weeds, can't finish. Also, I'm going away for a few days so I don't know how you'll manage. I left fifty bucks on the table, just order pizza for supper.

I love you.