5.7.2014 Pawtucket Red Sox v Toledo Mud Hens (DET) - The Last Good Game

Toledo wins, 4-0, on the back of beloved minor leaguer Mike Hessman. Mike Hessman forever, man. I should have stayed after the game so I could talk to him. And the Mud Hens aren't coming back so there goes my opportunity.

Starting pitcher for the Pawtucket Sox was Brandon Workman, who pitched very well indeed. I know, he gave up four home runs. But he was throwing strikes? Yeah? Plus he had to face Hessman who truly could not be tamed.

Workman pitched seven innings, gave up four runs on four hits, threw 87 pitches with 57 of 'em being el strike-o's. Looked pretty good.

You know who looked better? Kyle Lobstein. That little lefty got nine K's and didn't allow any runs through 6 1/3. He threw 100 pitches, DAMN SON!

Here's a picture of The Lobster:

Hessman hit two home runs, Ben Guez hit one and Tyler Collins hit one.

Chad Smith and Jose Ortega provided stellar relief for Toledo.

I was at this game! A baby came as well, he seemed pretty absorbed in the game even though he is only eight months old. I didn't see the rooster guy, though.

I'm talking about this game even though it's a few days old because it's probably going to be the Last Good Game. If you haven't noticed, I am dying of boredom here.

two things:
1. "Would rather have . . .

. . . Kyle Hardthrowingstein" - Genius comment on the Bless You Boys Lobstein breakdown. Read it!

2. Dan Butler was the catcher in this game. I want me and Dan Butler to get an apartment together. I think he could help me quite a bit with my finances. He could be my life coach. He could be my personal trainer. In return I would allow him to have sex with me most nights and the occasional morning. And he can watch whatever he wants on television. NO SMOKING/PETS.

3. Ryan Roberts hit a double and Garin Cecchini hit a double. So Cecchini has a brother named Gavin who is also a baseball player? Revolting. I hate you, Cecchini's parents.

4. Alex Wilson and Chris Hernandez were relievers who served scoreless realness.

Goodbye.